WHY do we presume that if a man is rich and successful, he should have a partner who’s thin and looks like a Victoria’s Secret model?
I think it’s disgusting on multiple levels that Declan Rice's partner Lauren Fryer, 25, the mother of his 18-month-old son Jude, has been subjected to horrendous online abuse for her appearance, which has led to her deleting every single post on her Instagram.
She never asked for this criticism en masse, and she doesn’t deserve it.
It ties into the idea of the trophy wife and it totally belittles the incredible achievements of someone like Declan.
He’s worked his backside off to get where he is and then people look at him and they think, “Yes, you might be successful and you might be a great footballer, but I don’t think your partner is pretty enough!
"And I don’t think she’s thin enough! So you need to change that. Because you’re not successful if you don’t have a partner who’s a size 8.”
As far as I can tell, Lauren and Declan have one of the strongest relationships in football and it’s clearly rooted in a deep love for one another.
One troll accused Rice of having “low standards” and said it was “disgusting behaviour” to stay with Lauren, who has 64,000 followers on Instagram, while another suggested it was time Rice got an “upgrade”.
Declan, also 25, is quite clearly madly in love with Lauren, who he lives with in North London, and made that clear when he hit back at these awful comments, saying, “My woman is the love of my life and there is no upgrade that exists for me.”
What Lauren needs to know is that the people who are making these comments aren’t men, they’re little boys
Danae Mercer
An upgrade?! She’s not an effing car! She’s a human being who has been the love of his life for seven years since they were teenagers and met at secondary school in Kingston!
That’s the kind of longevity and commitment most of us could only hope and wish for in our relationships.
Reducing a human being and a relationship to the equivalent of buying a new car, or buying a new TV, is totally demeaning and shameful.
Declan described Lauren as real, funny, beautiful and kind, explaining that he loves her more than anything in the world.
And yet another troll said, “Declan Rice is a multi-millionaire, athletic, 6’1 elite footballer and yet he settled for a fat white girl”, while another described Lauren as a “stepping stone” who he shouldn’t be taking to awards ceremonies.
Lauren has been a victim of many utterly appalling comments about the way she looks over the years, but by wiping all her Instagram posts she's now clearly decided enough is enough.
I'm appalled - it's beyond awful.
I'm a self-love influencer and have also received horrific comments about my body. When I talked openly about my miscarriage someone messaged me saying it wasn't surprising as my body and my 'flabby a**e were 'disgusting'.
Comments the couple have received are just flat out horrific and it’s hugely misogynistic.
It’s a disgusting sentiment and it’s a disgusting way of equating size with success.
But what Lauren needs to know is that the people who are making these comments aren’t men, they’re little boys.
They’re children who feel the need to tear down a woman just because she doesn’t fit the image that footballers often embrace. Although it’s not just men who do it.
I thought there was something particularly crass and demeaning about the comment asking why Declan hadn’t had an 'upgrade.' An upgrade?! She’s not an effing car!
Danae Mercer
One of the awful TikTok videos doing the rounds has 1.2million views and I’m sure some of those viewers are women.
However, we as women are constantly fighting to be viewed as something beyond just the shape of our bodies and how we look.
And sometimes it feels like we’re making small steps forward - like back in 2017 when huge fashion brands such as Dior, Givenchy and Gucci agreed not to use ultra thin models on the catwalk anymore - and then we just get beaten over the head by these aggressive waves of body shaming and misogyny and vicious men ripping women apart.
You only have to look at the pictures of Declan an Lauren together to know that the footballer could not be more devoted to his childhood sweetheart.
But that’s not what trolls are interested in, and even when they were snapped looking loved-up on holiday recently, all the haters focused on was how Lauren looked in her black swimsuit.
They look so happy and that should be all that matters. But instead, she got totally slated.
Everyone is focusing on her shape, her body, her looks.
People will say she asked for this attention but she didn’t, she just fell in love with someone at school who happens to have become hugely successful.
Rice and Lauren have been together for eight years
2016 - Rice and childhood sweetheart Lauren get together as teenagers
May, 2017 - Rice makes his West Ham debut in a clash with Burnley
March, 2019 - The Hammers ace makes his England debut after switching allegiances from the Republic of Ireland
August, 2022 - Rice confirms the birth of his son, Jude
November, 2022 - Lauren heads to Qatar to support her man at the World Cup
July, 2023 - Rice leaves West Ham to join Arsenal, with Lauren regularly supporting him at games at the Emirates
April, 2024 - Lauren wipes her Instagram account after vile bullying by trolls
As for the trolls who are making comments they come from a place of their own weakness and their own pain, insecurity and ignorance - it actually has nothing to do with Lauren herself.
There’s this view that if you’re in the public eye, you’re fair game. But Lauren didn’t invite this and she doesn’t court publicity.
Footballers will have women throwing themselves at them all the time and probably for Declan, the fact that he has so much history and longevity with Lauren will feel incredible and powerful and be very important to him. As it should be.
Why are we not placing value on the fact that Declan is a devoted, loving father and partner who clearly adores Lauren and his son Jude?
Why are we not celebrating that instead of criticising him and making fun of Lauren's body? It makes no sense.
Sadly, Declan Rice is not the first high profile man who’s had to publicly defend his partner and Pierce Brosnan had to do the same with his wife Keely, who has also been trolled because of her
How powerful would it be if we had more men saying to other men, “Stop it! I love this woman and you need to stop.
The type of comments Lauren has had to deal with have been truly vicious and I’m appalled at how she’s been treated – it’s beyond awful
Danae Mercer
I love this woman, I love her heart and the body is just the wrapping.”
Unfortunately, what plays out in the media in terms of women’s bodies is then played out in women’s lives everywhere.
Women tell me all the time how their partners have said mean things about their bodies..their shapes...their weight, about what they look like post baby - or what they look like in the bedroom.
We should not be having these conversations.
As women we should not just accept it and think, “that’s just the way it is”. Men are not entitled to discuss what we look like.
I’m so unbelievably sorry that Lauren has had to go through this.
I’m angry on her behalf. Our brains are just not wired to handle this amount of criticism.
Trolling gets inside your head and the internet can be a very mean place.
If she was to come back online, I think there would be thousands of women rallying around her.
"I hope they’d be inspired by her and find strength in her strength."
