BEING a nanny has put one 28-year-old woman off ever having kids as found it left her with “paper thin” patience.
Marcela, who has chosen not to share her surname, once loved kids so much that she picked up a full-time job in childcare.
And at first she found them cute, fun and easy to handle - until the impatience and exhaustion started to creep in.
“Nannying single-handedly confirmed to me that motherhood was not for me,” she says.
“There were days when 5pm rolled around and I was more than ready to hand off that baby and crawl into bed due to the exhaustion of keeping up with them the entire day.
“The constant care and vigilance that was needed was too much some days - and my patience was paper-thin by the end of the day.
“My eyes were opened and I realised, holy cow, I don’t want to do this whole mum thing, ever.”
Instead, Marcela prefers to focus on her dog, who she says is more than enough for her.
The Missouri, US-based nanny was previously married but is now in a new relationship with a new partner named Michael.
“My boyfriend and I talked about the fact I was never going to have kids and how that dynamic was going to affect our relationship very early on,” she says.
“He was on the same page and is also adamant about not having kids, so it's a perfect match.
“We get to enjoy slow mornings, worry about our wants and needs and spend time doing what makes us feel happy and fulfilled – with lots and lots of sleep and napping sprinkled throughout.”
Marcela and Michael instead channel their parenting instincts into their four-year-old pooch, named Jace - and even throws birthday celebrations for him.
Despite facing trolls online, some of whom insist she must be “miserable” to share posts about her decision to not have children, Marcela is resolute in her decision and has no regrets.
“The fact I could write a novel about my child-free journey says a lot about the time and conscious thought I've put into this decision,” she says.
“Unlike most child-free folks, I never had a singular moment or event that sparked this journey.
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“I just know the desire to be a mother to a human child has never been there for me, I never played with dolls, having grown up with three older brothers.
“I didn't fantasise about one day being a mum – I actually dreaded it because of how far removed I was from imagining that to be my life one day.”
Marcela is grateful for her career move to nanny one baby for three years when she was 22 as it was an eye-opening experience.
“I couldn't be more grateful for those few years working as a nanny because without it I may have made the single most regretful mistake of my life by ignorantly having a kid to please all the external voices telling me that's what I should do,” she says.
The fact I could write a novel about my child-free journey says a lot about the time and conscious thought I've put into this decision
Marcela
“My biggest advice to those who find themselves in limbo not knowing what path to take is to live your best life.
“Not your mum's, not your best friend’s or your sister's – yours.”
Marcela comes from a Christian family, so was apprehensive about how it would go down when she revealed her life choice.
Luckily, it went better than she had hoped.
“My parents were definitely wary and confused at first due to societal expectations and boomer mentality,” she recalls.
“But soon they accepted my choice and love me just the same!”
