Dr Pam Spurr reveals her tips on how to have the best sex in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond
Here's how to turn up the heat in the bedroom at any age
OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond.
Do you happen to be 33? Well, strap-up for a red-hot ride ‘cause research says you’re having the best sex.
I hear protests across the country: but I’m 44 and have an amazing sex life! But I’m 22, or, but I’m 55 and could show new film, 50 Shades Darker, a thing or two!
There are always exceptions to surveys but overall they reveal some home truths. So here are key things to expect for approaching decades.
20-somethings: The decade you have loads of energy and more sexual partners
Hot Stuff:
You have energy and desire for ‘repeat performances’ – he can get his erection back quickly after you’ve both climaxed.
Having youthful flexibility, you can slip onto the floor for friskiness after snogging on the settee.
Or bend her over the kitchen counter for a quickie.
Damp Squib:
You (or your partner) may first experience erectile difficulty. Usually with brewer’s droop after too much alcohol, affecting his erection.
You may not have the confidence to deal with it. So it’s an embarrassment that can grow into anxiety.
Lacking confidence also means you might fake orgasms.
Practice saying things in dirty detail: slowly swirl your tongue around my nipples before swirling it down between my thighs.
30-somethings: The decade your confidence grows.
At this point in your life, you might be in a more settled relationship. And women are less likely to put up with bad sex.
Hot Stuff:
You don’t take offence if your partner suggests new things. Instead you’re like: what do we need to do it? Special sex toys, a blindfold, handcuffs?
Be ready for new action by occasionally shopping for fun things in an adult store.
Damp Squib:
Children or work responsibilities can knock sexual desire.
Problems develop when one partner still wants sex. Beware, cheating’s all too easy to do. So compromise between differing sex drives.
Sharing sexual fantasies help with desire. Suggest he’s the naughty neighbour who spies on her undressing.
Take turns saying what hot thing happens next.
Body image worries can still be a problem in this decade. Light candles, get a dimmer switch, and throw caution to the wind!
40-somethings: You’re likely to accept things that worried you before.
My abs aren’t defined (in fact I don’t have any!). Or my breasts aren’t the same size – so what! That’s the spirit of this decade.
Hot Stuff:
You get super-earthy with each other when opportunity arises.
You’ve tried lots of sex-perimenting in previous decades and have honed a few party tricks… to put a party in his/her pants!
Research shows, though, you stick to your favourite sex position. Mix it up.
If your favourite is Spoons (him behind her, both of you on your sides. She raises her upper thigh so he can penetrate) seductively guide her into turning to face you for new sensations.
Damp Squib:
Age-related aches and pains start. Don’t forget orgasms are a form of natural pain relief!
In this decade most women get perimenopausal and men get the ‘man-opause’ – both with unpleasant symptoms, lowered sex drive, and mood changes.
Reassure each other you’re still desirable. Keep your lifestyle as healthy as possible.
50-somethings and beyond: Time for change
With the highest divorce rate and STI rates of all, relationships and sex are changing for these ages.
Hot Stuff:
With more freedom as children have probably flown the nest, you can romp wherever you want. With hormones pretty much under control, you feel on an even keel.
Sex might be more loving, considerate and affectionate, your bond can deepen.
Carve out weekends away – or at home – to spoil each other. Get into role-play where you pretend you’re strangers who chat each other up.
Give each other a free-pass to suggest trying new positions, places and techniques.
Damp Squib:
If you’ve allowed mortgages, growing children and other demands to come between you, you might’ve grown apart.
A full-on midlife crises may take hold and the grass looks greener elsewhere.
Don’t panic, crank up affection and romance.
And maybe the only crisis you’ll have is discovering the batteries in your vibrator are flat.
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