LIFE STORY
I regret having kids – I miss what my life could have been if I hadn’t had babies, but worry it makes me an awful parent
Other parents did their best to reassure her that there's light at the end of the tunnel
A MUM has been left feeling ashamed after revealing she often thinks about how "fabulous" her life would have been had she not had kids.
The woman has a two-year-old and a seven-month-old, and is mostly a stay at home mum "struggling to restart my business after moves, pregnancies, sleep deprivation and stress".
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In the post on , she explained: "I always read 'you never regret having kids, but you can regret not having more' and 'I can’t imagine my life without my kids' but I do and it looks pretty fabulous.
"I wonder if I'm the only one and if that means I’m a terrible mum.
"I’m just exhausted. I miss my life and what my life could have been.
"I would have a much better relationship with my partner as well."
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She added that her youngest has "just learned to crawl" and is therefore "constantly attached" to her.
While she's also been struggling with potty training her daughter.
"I never felt like this when I just had my first and I had a very bad time with breastfeeding and sleep," she noted.
Things are made even worse by the fact that her partner works Monday to Friday, and she works the weekends as a wedding and boudoir photographer.
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"I couldn’t really discuss this with my family (which is very tight knit and full of women) because 2 of them - one being my SIL - just announced being pregnant and the other finding out she actually expects twins (baby 4 and 5!)," she continued.
But people in the comments section were quick to offer her reassurance, with one writing: "I remember being in your stage not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel.
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"Just resign yourself that you’ll lose 10 years.
"But then your life comes back. (And it actually goes by in the blink of an eye)."
"This is a great reminder. I only have 1 toddler but I’m looking forward to getting some of my life back again," another said.
"Speaking from the future, it can be amazing,"; a third wrote.
"I’ve got a teen & an older elementary age kid.
"Teen can make coffee for us & cook dinner. Elementary kiddo is funny & kind, can make his own lunch & take showers by himself.
Pros of being a young mum
Tracy Kiss, who fell pregnant at 19, has revealed what she beleives are the pros of being a young mother.
The personal trainer and blogger, from Buckinghamshire, believes women who give birth in their teens make BETTER mothers than those in their 30s.
She claims young mums snap back into shape quicker, have more energy and relate more easily to their children, meaning they're better behaved and happier.
Tracy told Fabulous: "Women who become first-time mums in their teens make better parents than those in their 30s or 40s.
"I believe if I'd been 10 or so years older before becoming a mother then I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with my children now.
"For a start, being older I would have had less energy and therefore less patience.
"I wouldn’t be as enthusiastic to speak to people after months of sleepless nights as I was in my teens.
"My body snapped back to its pre-pregnancy size through fitness post-birth, which in turn gave me the confidence to date and find love again. I’ve never been happier than I am now at the age of 30 with two children.
"If I’d have been alone at 40 with a newborn baby I’d be more tired, less happy with my body, less energetic and far more stressed from the shock of living my life for myself instead of putting others first. Sometimes age and the innocence of ignorance is a good thing.
"As a teen mum I just got on with it, found my feet and became responsible and capable because at the time I didn’t know any different."
"We can run errands with or without them.
"It’s pretty great actually.
"It feels like forever from where you are, but those days both feel like forever ago & yesterday from here."
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As someone else said: "Parents really should do more to warn prospective parents about the harsh reality.
"I feel like everyone I talked to was in some kind of rose-coloured glasses, la la land parenting cult."
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