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My wife cheated with a lifelong friend – she said she was ‘drunk & stupid’ but the real truth has me wanting revenge
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A MAN has revealed that his wife has admitted to cheating on him with his best friend.
The distraught man explained that whilst his partner claims she was ‘drunk and stupid’, the real truth has left him heartbroken and desperate for revenge.
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However, the anonymous man, who shared his story on social media, leaving many open-mouthed, shared that he has been left feeling “shattered” and isn’t sure how to move forward with the situation.
Posting on Reddit, on the thread under the username @resistance_01, the man, 30, confessed that his 29-year-old wife has “admitted” to cheating with his lifelong pal.
He confessed: “Two days ago, my spouse of five years (together for 10) admitted to two occasions where she cheated with my best friend of 15 years.
“The first time was several months ago. The second time was less than a week ago and they were caught by his wife (also a friend for 15+ years).
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“It was also an emotional affair, as they've gotten very close in the last four to five months.
“Just before this admission, I had an overdue talk with her about me being uncomfortable, at times, with the closeness of their friendship.”
The Reddit poster claimed his wife attempted to justify her infidelity, as he added: “She claims that there was 'no reason' she did this, that both occasions were 'drunk and stupid' mistakes.
“I pointed out that this wasn't two isolated incidents... It was months and months of hidden, unfaithful behaviour. Even after the first physical episode of cheating, she chose not to walk away.
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“She claims that there are no relationship issues or other problems that drove this behaviour. I have a really hard time believing this.
“You don't cheat for 'no reason', and the 'why?' question is really messing with my head, even if I know it's mostly irrelevant in the big picture.”
And as a result of her unfaithful actions, the man admitted: “I'm also having serious doubts that this was the first time she's cheated. She's had male friends at work that threw up some red flags, but obviously I didn't act on it.
“We're both independent and give each other space to have our own lives... at least, that's how I used to view it.”
I had a wild ’emotional affair’ with a married man – I wanted him desperately but it came to a VERY messy end
Reflecting on the situation, the fuming man explained: “My best friend is dead to me.
"While it would be incredibly satisfying to seek out a fight or some kind of revenge, I doubt it does any good in the short-term or long-term.
“As for me... my emotions are still incredibly raw, but I don't see how I can live with this.
"I'm an independent person and I'm pretty closed-off, but my wife was the one person I 'let in'.
It's so hard to think clearly. Every thought is interrupted by an alternating torrent of anger and crushing sadness
Reddit user
“These people formed virtually my entire social group; we were incredibly close. Now I'm looking around at my life and it feels like scorched earth... there's nothing left.
“We have no kids (thank god). We own a house. We have virtually no other debt. We're both staying in the house for now; her downstairs, me upstairs.”
Keen for advice, the man concluded: “It's so hard to think clearly. Every thought is interrupted by an alternating torrent of anger and crushing sadness.
“How do I choose a path forward? If I leave, what do I need to start getting in order?”
REDDIT USERS REACT
Reddit users flocked to the comments to share advice and guidance, with many encouraging divorce as the most suitable way of moving forward.
Get a lawyer and a divorce
Reddit user
One person said: “Talk to a lawyer and leave her and your friend. Never speak to them again.”
Another added: “Wow, it sucks to lose two best friends at the same time. They're never going to reclaim that position of trust, so don't waste your time agonising over it.
“They each chose to end a friendship, and your wife chose to end a marriage. All you can do is cut contact and move on.”
You now need to focus on yourself. Make yourself feel good, happy and safe
Reddit user
Meanwhile, someone else advised: “I am so so sorry about what you're going through. You had a horrible wife. And the worst friend ever. You don't deserve this. AT ALL.
“You need a lawyer to protect yourself. An unfaithful person is capable of doing many other atrocities.
"Also, you now need to focus on yourself. Make yourself feel good, happy and safe. Surround yourself with the ones who really love you and care about you.
“Don't try to mend your heart with another relationship right now. It never works. And don't become a bitter man either.
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“There are many decent women out there who wouldn't do what your wife did.
"There are many great people out there who wouldn't do what your ex-friend did.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
says: "If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful."
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.
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