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PELICOT TRIAL
Dinner party foursomes, OAPs flashing me & depraved cops – I know why the French barely shrugged at Pelicot rape trial
Sam thinks there are "pig ignorant attitudes" in France
THE trial of Dominque Pélicot, who was convicted of raping his unconscious wife Gisele and inviting 83 men to join in, has captured the world’s attention - not least because Gisele, 72, bravely waived her right to have her trial in private.
Samantha Brick, 53, originally from Birmingham, has lived in the Dordogne, in southwest France, for 18 years, after meeting and marrying husband Pascal, 63, says while Gisele’s trial was extraordinary it was symptomatic of a wider French issue towards women and sex.
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Now, speaking to Fabulous, she shares her experience:
Picture the scene - a dinner party for six adults, three French men and three British women, in rural France.
I was staying with a girlfriend who had sold up and bought a place in the countryside.
As you’d expect in France the men exited to smoke in between courses while us women were expected to plate up and clear away.
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That night one bloke goosed my bum.
Another one - with no concept of personal space - repeatedly asked if my boobs were natural. While the third kept wondering what I’d look like starkers.
When it got to dessert the suggestion was to skip it in order to strip off and dive in the hot tub. I made my excuses with a ‘non, merci’ and went to bed early that night.
I later found out they had a foursome - but 'Je ne regrette rien.'
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I wanted no part of it.
This episode happened 18 years ago on holiday (just before I met my husband Pascal) but the truth is little has changed.
Even today in 2024 If you want to immerse yourself in French cultural life you need to turn your watch back half a century.
Gisele Pelicot says 'I struggled on for my kids' after 51 in rape plot jailed
Over here, cultural norms means that men can get away with what they like.
The terrestrial telly shows are old-fashioned light entertainment ones with shiny floors and dolly bird hostesses.
There is no watershed here. Bonking scenes in films are the norm throughout the day and night. In other words, misogyny is rife.
You’d be hard pressed to find a woman in France – expat or French – who hasn’t been sexually harassed, sexually assaulted ... or worse.
The French media were fascinated by the international media’s coverage instead
Samantha Brick
Over the past few months male behaviour in the country I call home has been put under a harsh spotlight.
Who could not be profoundly shocked at what Gisèle Pelicot repeatedly experienced at the hands of her husband?
The grandmother was not only drugged by him over a decade but he then invited strangers to assault her while unconscious, filming and directing the assaults.
Last week her ex-husband - alongside many other men - were found guilty of rape, attempted rape and sexual assault. They have been sentenced to a combined 400 years.
The mass rape trial might have been covered around the world from day one but French society and media were slow to pick up on it.
In the first few weeks it barely got a French shrug of the shoulders over here.
The sentencing
GISELE Pélicot’s husband Dominique, 72, was handed a 20-year spell behind bars after admitting raping his unconscious wife and inviting at least 83 men to join in.
Thirteen pleaded guilty, 35 denied the charges, another man is on the run and the rest are to be identified.
Out of the 51 defendants, 47 including Pélicot were found guilty of aggravated rape.
Two were found guilty of attempted rape, and two of sexual assault.
The assailants include a soldier who assaulted Gisele on the day his daughter was born, a nurse who attacked her for three hours, a forklift driver who knew he was HIV positive and a local man who continued even though his victim was snoring.
Pelicot’s lawyer Beatrice Zavarro called them "Mr Average" and said the “real debate” was “how these men, from all walks of life, landed up in Gisèle Pelicot’s bedroom.”
But psychologist Annabelle Montagne, who assessed the defendants on behalf of the court in Avignon, said: “These are not Mr Everyman who committed these acts.”
Among the range of professions, which include a councillor, a grocer and IT worker, 14 of the accused had previous convictions for violence.
The French media were fascinated by the international media’s coverage instead. An attitude that speaks volumes.
At the start of the trial in September Louis Bonnet, 74, the mayor of the town Mazan, where the horrifying attacks occurred, revealed everything about male attitudes towards sexual violence.
In an interview with the BBC he pompously dismissed the case with, ‘after all, no one died’.
Only when he realised his remarks backfired did he apologise.
What hasn’t gone unnoticed is that the men who assaulted Gisèle were so ‘ordinary’ - firefighters, soldiers, handymen, doting grandfathers – that they have been dubbed Monsieur-Tout-Le-Monde (Mr Everyman).
France always poo-poos the idea of being sexual libertarians but this is a country where misogyny has long been allowed to flourish - and accusations of sexual crimes ignored.
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Last year French actor Gérard Depardieu was accused by 13 women of rape and sexual assault. He denies the allegations.
Yet a group of 56 prominent actors, directors and producers - including former first lady Carla Bruni - published a letter saying the accusations were ‘an attack on art itself’.
French President Emmanuel Macron even described the actor as ‘the pride of France’, who was being subjected to a ‘manhunt’.
And in 2018, when the rest of the world embraced the MeToo movement, 100 high-profile French women - including the star Catherine Deneuve - signed an open letter against the anti-harassment campaign accusing it of censorship and intolerance.
Instead, they avowed that men should be ‘free to hit on’ women.
When I first arrived in France I was a regular at a village bar. It was considered rude not to say hello to everyone.
After asking where I’m from then comes the inevitable question do you like to f***?
Samantha Brick
Even those into their 80s would go in for a quick grope. And while women would see what was going on - would they say anything? No-they would not.
One girlfriend told me about her neighbour accusing two young men in the village of raping her.
My friend was interviewed about the kind of woman the accuser was.
She was incandescent that in this century she was asked whether the woman had ever worn a mini-skirt.
While the rape went to trial neither man was found guilty. Yet the villagers dished out their own form of justice.
Neither man was allowed to marry in the village (the local mayor refused to perform the act for them) and they eventually moved away.
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Unfortunately men in positions of power prey on vulnerable women.
Another girlfriend had to put up with the horrifying ordeal of a police officer masturbating in front of her at her home. Did she report it? Of course not. Who would believe her?
The problem in France is that there is nothing sacred or special about sex or women’s bodies.
Women are portrayed as screaming nagging fishwives or sexually available hotties in most modern TV series and films.
Combine that with the libertine attitude and whatever gross stuff men are finding on the internet then it’s no wonder women are treated like pieces of meat.
Only last month I stopped off at a service station to use the bathroom.
I’m lucky and that’s only because I’m married to a frenchman
Samantha Brick
A man at the next sink started to chat to me. After asking where I’m from then comes the inevitable question do you like to f***?
The French woman at the next sink just shrugged her shoulders.
She tolerates this type of behaviour because she is used to it. I told him to ‘go f***’ himself.
Look, it’s not all bad. I have lived in France for 18 years. I am an optimist. I see the male attitude changing. Albeit at an ‘escargot' - snails - pace.
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a - available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Years ago one grey-haired pot-bellied baby boomer dentist would - Benny Hill style - ask me about how often I opened my mouth so wide.
Today millennial professionals are way too aware that they can’t talk like that. Things are changing - but it’s slow progress.
I live in the countryside which doesn’t help. I know that men will continue to pull their willies out and wee at the side of the road in front of young and old women.
The pig ignorant attitudes here about respect towards females will take time to catch up with the likes of Paris, Marseille and Toulouse.
On the whole I know talking to friends I have got off lightly when it comes to sexually crass and offensive (not to mention unwanted) overtures.
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I’m lucky and that’s only because I’m married to a frenchman. He does not tolerate other men eyeing me up or chatting to me.
And I understand why. He knows perfectly well what goes on in the minds of his French compatriots.
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