CHEAT SHEET
My hubby & I hadn’t had sex in 10 years so I started affair with toyboy -I don’t feel guilty though, it fulfils my needs
Scroll down to find out four red flags your partner is cheating
A WOMAN who hasn't had sex with her husband for 10 years, revealed that she has started an affair with a younger man, and doesn't feel guilty about fulfilling her needs.
The 51-year-old, has been with her husband for 20 years, but said that they no longer have any connection at all.
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She said that she is happy with her house, her car and her two kids, but barely talks to her husband, who is 70.
"We have very little in common and don’t really talk to each other any more," she told The Mirror.
"We spend our evenings sitting on the sofa watching telly and having supper together, then we go to our separate bedrooms to sleep."
The mum added that she has addressed these issues with her husband, and has told him that she feels like the pair are just housemates.
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However, her husband is very closed off, and has refused to change his ways.
After realising that she could no longer live like this, the woman decided that she wanted to do something for herself.
She met with a divorce lawyer, but found the prospect of ending her marriage too daunting, and decided to stay with her husband for the sake of the kids.
"Having a secret love feels like the best option for me because I’m getting emotional satisfaction and physical affection, but I haven’t had to make the move to leave," she said.
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She decided that dating apps would be too risky, as you have to upload photos of yourself and she didn't want to be discovered by anyone.
"My husband has grown-up kids, one of whom has split up from his wife recently, and I panicked that he might see my profile on there," she explained.
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After doing some Googling, the woman found a website called Illicit Encounters, which facilitates extramarital affairs.
After chatting to a few men on coffee dates, she realised that many men were in the same situation as her, and had lost the spark in their marriage.
The woman now has a 46 year old toyboy lover, and revealed that keeping the affair a secret is easier than it sounds.
"My lover manages his own diary at work so he can get away in the daytime and I work part-time, so it’s easy for me to slip out as well.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
says: "If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful."
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.
"Or I just say I’m going shopping or to the gym."
She added that she thinks her husband might suspect she's having an affair, but hasn't said anything as he doesn't want to upset the family dynamic either.
The woman said that she doesn't feel guilty about having an affair, as her needs need fulfilling.
"Occasionally, I’ll get pangs of guilt, but then I remind myself, “I need this,” and I feel fine again."
However, she added that things can be tricky when she needs a hug or comfort, as her lover cannot be there for her.
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"I’m not getting that from my husband – there hasn’t been any affection or intimacy for 10 years so I can’t go to him and say, 'Give me a cuddle'", she said.
"Even though I’ve got two men in my life, I’m often left without any physical connection and that’s quite hard to deal with. I’ve got the dog to cuddle but it’s not quite the same!"
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