The early warning signs that you are being stalked you should never ignore – and why you may never know for YEARS
PICTURE a stalker and you might imagine a creep in a cap, following your every move and bombarding you with messages.
But the reality is that the signs can be less obvious than in your favourite especially in the early days.
This week, we exclusively revealed that a woman had been arrested for stalking reality star Joey Essex and threatening to “shoot the s**t” out of his former girlfriend Jessy Porter.
Former Coronation Street actress Nicola Thorp, who was stalked by a man she did not know, has been working with the government after police said they could not reveal the identity of the offender - even after he was arrested.
Sanctions announced last year by the Home Office include the right to know who is harassing you on the internet if they are using an anonymous account.
But , who has worked with stalking victims, says that it is important to note there may be subtle red flags shown even “years before.”
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“When we think of ‘stalking,’ we often imagine dramatic encounters, someone lurking behind every corner or sending threatening letters,” she explains.
“But in reality, stalking can manifest in subtle, insidious ways, sometimes from those we least suspect, like a former partner we once trusted.”
Here, Emma reveals to YASMIN HARISHA the 11 surprising red flags that might indicate you’re being stalked.
If any of these sound familiar, make sure you and document what’s happening.
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‘Coincidental’ Meetings
Are you bumping into your ex in the most unlikely places, your favourite coffee shop, your local gym, or even the supermarket at odd hours?
While it could be a fluke, repeated “chance” run-ins, especially if you haven’t shared your schedule, can be an early sign you’re being tracked.
Why it’s concerning:
Real coincidences happen, but a pattern of them is suspicious.
Stalkers often keep tabs on your habits or routines to orchestrate these encounters and appear “accidentally” in your space.
Anonymous Messages and Calls
Today’s technology allows people to connect in countless ways, from private numbers to social media accounts.
Excessive hang-up calls or anonymous messages that contain personal details you haven’t shared publicly may signal someone is gathering info on you.
Why it’s concerning:
Receiving a flurry of unknown or withheld number calls can be unnerving.
Social media is one of the easiest ways for an ex, or a stranger to keep tabs on you
Emma Kenny
Stalkers use anonymity to keep you off-balance.
When it’s an ex, they may be testing the waters, checking whether you’ll answer and how you’ll react.
Noticing Odd Behaviour
Perhaps your relatives mention someone calling to ask about you, or your best mate sees a familiar face hanging around your workplace.
If loved ones start noticing strange behaviour or people poking around about your schedule, don’t brush it off.
Why it’s concerning:
Third parties often spot subtle red flags you might miss.
If others say they’ve been questioned about your personal life, or have spotted the same car passing by multiple times, it could indicate obsessive interest from a former partner, or an individual fast becoming fixated on you
Subtle Sabotage on Social Media
Modern stalking can be digital.
You might experience repeated requests from dubious new accounts, or your ex might ‘accidentally’ tag you in old photos.
Whether it’s spamming “likes,” sending direct messages from new profiles, or monitoring your activity in real-time, it can be a strong indicator of unwanted attention.
Why it’s concerning:
Social media is one of the easiest ways for an ex, or a stranger to keep tabs on you.
If they’re creating multiple profiles or trying to engage covertly, it’s a sign they’re determined to track your life, and possibly control your narrative.
Little Gifts Left in Places
A rose on your windshield, a handwritten note slipped under your door, or even an unexpected parcel might feel romantic at first.
Sometimes, a stalker stops hiding behind subtle tactics and resorts to open intimidation
Emma Kenny
But if this happens regularly, and especially if you’ve made it clear you want no further contact, take note.
Why it’s concerning:
Stalkers often leave small tokens as a reminder that they’re present and have access to your personal spaces.
It’s a power move that shows they’re close by and ignoring your boundaries.
Unsolicited “Advice” or Criticism
A stalking ex might pose as a concerned “friend,” offering intrusive advice or critical comments about your new partner, your job, or even your appearance, often under the guise of caring.
They may pop up in your DMs or comments with unsolicited opinions.
Why it’s concerning:
This can be a manipulative way to re-enter your life, reassert control, and ultimately make you question your decisions.
It keeps you engaged, even if it’s negative attention, because they’re getting a reaction or forcing you to respond.
Strange Movements
Have you noticed your mail opened, your car moved slightly, or even your pet acting skittish after being around someone familiar
Stalkers, particularly exes, might use low-level forms of intimidation, like rearranging items, to show they still have access to your life.
Why it’s concerning:
Small intrusions can feel more alarming than grand gestures.
If belongings go missing or appear tampered with, or if your pet starts reacting oddly when certain people are nearby, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
Direct Threats
Sometimes, a stalker stops hiding behind subtle tactics and resorts to open intimidation.
Physical damage to your property indicates the stalker feels emboldened to act in more extreme ways
Emma Kenny
They may send hostile emails, texts, or social media messages, or even make verbal threats.
Why it’s concerning:
Clear threats are not just unsettling, they’re a direct violation of your safety.
When someone crosses this line, it’s crucial to contact the authorities, document all evidence, and alert friends or family members.
Confrontations
Unexpected visits from an ex, particularly at your home or workplace, can be alarming.
Whether they claim they’re “just passing by” or “want to talk,” repeatedly showing up uninvited is a major red flag.
Why it’s concerning:
This type of behaviour escalates the risk of a face-to-face confrontation.
If an individual doesn’t respect your boundaries enough to stay away when asked, the situation can become volatile quickly.
Sense of Being Watched
One of the most common yet easily dismissed signs is your gut feeling that you’re never truly alone.
If you catch glimpses of someone in places they shouldn’t be or sense you’re being followed, and friends or acquaintances notice it too, take it seriously.
Why it’s concerning:
Intuition is a powerful tool, especially when combined with tangible evidence.
If your anxiety spikes whenever you step out, or you feel eyes on you at all times, it’s your body’s way of warning you to stay alert.
Actual Property Damage
A broken window, slashed tires, or signs of forced entry, even if nothing was stolen, may point to stalking.
Vandalism or tampering with your car, home, or personal belongings is a bold act intended to intimidate or unsettle you.
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Why it’s concerning:
Physical damage to your property indicates the stalker feels emboldened to act in more extreme ways.
Document any evidence (photographs, repair bills) and report these incidents to law enforcement immediately.
What to do if you are being stalked
By Emma Kenny, true crime physiologist
Whether the signals are subtle or glaring, trust your instincts. Keep records of suspicious incidents, inform people you trust, and don’t hesitate to reach out for professional and legal help if you believe you’re in danger.
Your safety is paramount, no one has the right to make you feel unsafe in your own life. Stalking is illegal.
If you think you are in danger or being stalked, report it to the police immediately - you have a right to feel safe in your home and workplace.
Call 999 if you or someone else is in immediate danger.
You can get advice from the National Stalking Helpline.
National Stalking Helpline
Telephone: 0808 802 0300
Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 4pm (except Wednesday 9:30am to 8pm)