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PLAIN SAILING
We’ve lived on a cruise for two years – we laze around like millionaires but are unemployed & every day is a holiday
The couple say that there are some downsides to their luxury lifestyle
LOOKING out at the crystal-clear waters, Monica Brzoska ponders the day ahead.
There are gourmet meals to enjoy, musical shows to watch and tropical beaches to explore.
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But the teacher, 33 from Memphis, isn’t enjoying a weeklong cruise to alleviate the January blues.
She gets to live the luxury ocean life every single day.
“I can’t believe that it’s been almost two years of full-time cruising,” she laughs. “It still feels unreal.”
It was March 2023 when Monica and her husband, fellow-teacher Jorell, 37, left land life behind.
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By the time they stepped on board in Miami, they'd sold nearly all their possessions.
“Jorell and I had been on Carnival cruises before getting married in July 2020 and loved it,” she says.
“We always hoped that one day in the distant future we’d spend lots more time on the ocean.
“Then my dad needed a liver transplant in 2022, and my mum encouraged us to follow our dreams.
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“‘Don’t wait for retirement,’ she urged us. I looked at Jorell and said, ‘She’s right.’”
The couple created a plan. To quit their jobs, rent out their house in Memphis and use the money to book as many consecutive cruises as they could.
“We knew it sounded mad. But when we ran the numbers, it actually made sense,” she explains.
Inside the super cool cruise with no kids, a spa, nightclub and drag queen bingo
“We had access to great offers with Carnival as we’d cruised with them before.
“All of our food, accommodation and entertainment would be included.
“If we were careful with our spending money, it could just work.”
Waving goodbye to friends and family they set sail, with no idea how long their adventure would last.
“If the money ran out, or we weren’t enjoying ourselves, we knew that we could go back home and to teaching,” she says.
“But almost two years, and seventy back-to-back cruises later, we’re still here. And it has been the adventure of a lifetime.”
In their 22 months onboard, they have been to 45 countries, from Australia, New Zealand and the Caribbean to Europe, Greenland and Asia.
“Each cruise is a different length,” Monica explains.
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“Some are seven days and one was even 30.”
“But at the end of each one we have to check out of our room. If the next cruise is on the same ship we don’t have to disembark, but we like to, to explore the home port.’
Which means constantly getting out the suitcases.
“I hate packing,” she admits.
“But we’ve got it down to a fine art by now. We each have a suitcase of clothes, and I keep all of mine on hangers.
“I put them straight into my case like that, so it’s super easy to hang them up again in our new room.
“We also have a third suitcase with toiletries and cold weather things. That rarely gets opened as we’re usually cruising somewhere warm.”
Constant cruising has turned the couple into minimalists.
Monica says, “We always used to overpack for holidays.
“Now I have everything I need on just 20 hangers. When my clothes wear out or I need something new, I’ll grab something cheap when we’re on a daytrip on land.”
As for laundry, the couple haven’t used a washing machine in almost two years.
“It’s all done for us onboard and it’s amazing,” Monica admits.
“I just put what I need in a bag, tick off a list and it’s returned to our cabin. I love it.”
There is one chore she misses from her life on land.
“Food shopping,” she confesses.
“We like to cook and used to really enjoy having friends over for meals.
Watching every penny might mean that for a week we don’t spend anything during the at-port days
Monica Brzoska
“As foodies at heart we have to work harder to find variety, because we have similar menus on most cruises.
“Jorell has learned loads of food hacks to make a new dish - combining components from one dish with another or making a new dish with items from different restaurants on board.”
With delicious food on tap 24/7, how have they avoided piling on the pounds?
“To be clear, we were not small people when we started this adventure,” Monica jokes.
“And at first there was overeating. It’s hard to avoid when there’s so much delicious food. Then, we developed tricks to make sure we didn’t go overboard.”
Now they make sure to build exercise into their days.
“Walking round these huge boats is a workout, and we always try and take the stairs,” she says.
“Our current ship is ten decks high and we’re sleeping on the seventh. And when we’re at port we’re spending hours walking.”
The couple say they have also traded in all-you-can-eat buffets for more formal restaurants.
“The portion sizes are well controlled in the sit-down eateries, and it’s easier to see what’s on your plate,” explains Monica.
“It means the clothes we brought with us two years ago still fit.”
They've discovered another huge advantage to avoiding the buffet.
“In 22 months, we’ve never been sick and avoiding certain places onboard is the key,” she says.
“We also steer clear of the public toilets and the casino. Everyone is touching the machines and so germs spread. If we do go in there, we always use hand sanitiser.
“We also take multivitamins every day, as well as immunoboosters and Jorrel takes antihistamines.
“We get our teeth deep cleaned in Mexico every six months, a trick we learned from the crew.”
Monica admits that it doesn't all feel like an extended holiday.
“There are definitely stressful times,” she explains.
“We had a mad dash from one port to another to catch our next cruise. Being under a ticking clock was nerve wracking.
“But when we do argue it’s about logistics and money. Jorell is the planner and with his spreadsheet he works out which cruise we should do next and how all the pieces fit together.
“I’m in charge of the numbers and set our budget to the last penny to make sure we can afford to pay for the next cruise. I definitely bug Jorell to triple check things, and I know that drives him crazy.”
The couple don’t save money by living on a cruise ship, she explains, but they don’t go into debt either.
“Watching every penny might mean that for a week we don’t spend anything during the at-port days, so we just got for walks and explore for free,” she says.
Pros and cons of going on a cruise ship
Whether you're considering a long holiday, working remotely or even living on board a cruise ship for a few months or years, here are the pros and cons from a former cruise shipper.
Pros
- Travel the world, learn and experience new cultures
- Meet new people
- Don’t have to think or worry about room cleaning, or food
Cons
- Internet connection can be painfully slow and expensive
- Limited luggage allowance so have to wear the same clothes on rotation
- Having no control of where the ship would go next and the possibility of visiting the same ports
- Having the same onboard entertainment, on-demand movies, and little choice of TV channels
- No fresh newspapers or new books unless someone adds them to the library
- Relatively the same food week after week unless major menu changes occur seasonally.
- Occasional rough seas, bad weather and viral outbreaks while inboard.
“I always know when Jorell is fed up with me and needs time alone because he’ll open the daily itinerary on the cruise app and say, ‘Don’t you have an activity right now?’”
Doing some things apart helps keep their relationship fun and spontaneous.
‘I’ll go on a history tour at-port, and he’ll go and see a brewery,” she says.
“Even being apart for a few hours we’ll really miss each other and can’t wait to share what we’ve seen.
“Then we can go on a ‘date night’ to dinner and a show and it doesn’t cost us anything.
“Living this way has deepened our relationship. We don’t have the daily grind of jobs, chores and commutes.
“Every day is a fun adventure and that keeps the spark.”
The biggest downside is missing friends and family.
“I talk to my mum for hours but when we’re somewhere like Australia the time difference makes that tricky. But she is thrilled that we’re doing this,” she says.
Because the couple don't have children at the moment they haven’t had to picture what it might be like to raise a child onboard.
The last two years have been the most incredible adventure. I can’t wait to see where we go next
Monica Brzoska
But she’s happy to share her top tips with people hoping to live on the seven seas.
“Look at what you own with a critical eye,” Monica says.
“We don’t own a car, designer clothes, bags or fancy watches. You’d be amazed at how little you actually need.’
“Stick with one cruise company and as a loyal customer you’ll have access to the best offers.
“Consider if you really need add-ons while you’re on board. Not choosing the drinks package would save you £150 a day.”
Her biggest tip is just to be brave.
“We had no idea what would happen when we embarked in March 2023,” she says.
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“But the last two years have been the most incredible adventure. I can’t wait to see where we go next.”
Follow Monica on Instagram @life_by_any_means
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