Is taking your husband’s name outdated or is to good to stick with tradition — we find out from two women who joined the debate
A recent YouGov poll found that only 59 per cent of women would take the man's name today, compared to 94 per cent in 1994
MORE and more women are breaking with tradition by keeping their maiden name when they get married.
Last week, Strictly’s Charlotte Hawkins, 42, revealed that she did not take her husband’s surname Herbert because she felt it was an outdated tradition.
A YouGov poll found only 59 per cent would take the man’s name today, compared with 94 per cent in 1994.
LYNSEY CLARKE asks two writers, one who gave up her maiden name, and another who kept hers, to join the debate.
BETTER - writer Ruth McDiarmid
RUTH, a mum of one, says:
"For almost three years I’ve been someone new. I took my husband’s name on our wedding day in December, 2014.
I said farewell to Harrison, my birth name, to take on a man’s name. I became a McDiarmid.
Sure, it’s more difficult to say, let alone spell. I often think about how much time I could save on the phone if I’d kept my name, instead of constantly repeating myself. But where’s the fun in that?
As our wedding approached, I thought a lot about keeping my maiden name. It was my identity. I’d had so many good times as a Harrison.
I’d backpacked across the world, built up my career, laughed with friends over countless bottles of wine and, most importantly, I’d fallen in love with the man I wanted to spend my life with.
McHarrison sounded like some sort of dodgy burger and Harrison-McDiarmid was a mouthful.
It was all or nothing for this bride. Did I want to join a new clan?
Nowadays, people can live together quite happily, picking up each other’s dirty socks, eating together and sitting on the sofa to binge-watch Netflix.
Marriage sometimes feels a little unnecessary. A wedding is expensive, all-consuming and families lose perspective over tiny details.
Why bother with the ceremony and the dance – if it’s not to say to the world, “Here we are”?
And when things get tough we are united – by name, paper and love.
Marriage is a huge commitment and for me, it started with taking my husband’s name.
I’m sure that Joan Collins, who berated her daughter Tara for doing the same, would have something to say about that.
But then again, Joan has been married five times and I only intend to do this once.
I use my maiden name for my work as a writer but I’m Mrs McDiarmid to everyone else.
And when my son Dougie was born last year I couldn’t imagine it any other way. The three of us are a team.
And if it’s good enough for Mrs Carter, aka Beyonce, it’s good enough for me."
WORSE - author Hilary Freeman
MUM-OF-ONE Hilary says:
"What’s in a name? It’s a question once posed by William Shakespeare, whose wife Anne
Hathaway is always remembered by her maiden name.
The Answer? Quite a lot, actually. That’s why, when I got married almost 20 years ago, I was adamant I would not change mine.
While I was fully prepared to give away my hand in marriage and half my assets, I sure wasn’t giving up my identity or becoming my husband’s property. Freeman by name and free woman by nature.
My name meant something to me. More than just a label, it linked me to hundreds of years of family history.
Plus, I’d been practising my “autograph” since I was ten. I didn’t want to have to design a new one.
And why give myself the unnecessary headache of all that extra paperwork – bank accounts, passports, tax forms?
Double-barrelling wasn’t a thing then, and I don’t think meshing two names together – in the Dawn O’Porter mould – had been invented. My decision was unusual back then, and perhaps that’s why many people couldn’t get their heads around it.
British Gas customer services insisted on referring to me as Mrs Freeman, rather rudely insinuating I had married my own father or brother.
As it turned out, it was a lucky I didn’t take my husband’s name because, sadly, we got divorced in 2013.
Changing my name back would have provided more stress for me and more revenue for the lawyers.
So I’m not surprised that the twice-divorced Cheryl-Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini-possibly-soon-to-be-Payne gave up on this surname business and plumped for Cheryl.
My partner Mickael – with Hilary, inset – and I aren’t married. But we gave our daughter both our surnames, in double-barrelled form. I like the fact that even though we have different surnames, they are linked together in hers.
She might not agree. With an eight-syllable name, Sidonie Freeman-Lorniquer, she’ll probably curse us when she starts writing her own signature."
