Hoax victim Sophie Stevenson speaks out to shame ‘pull a pig’ lover Jesse Mateman so others won’t suffer the way she did
THE girl who fell victim to a holiday lover’s cruel “pull a pig” game has slammed the callous lad culture that left her heartbroken.
Barmaid Sophie Stevenson fell for Dutchman Jesse Mateman — and thought she had found her first love — when they were both visiting Barcelona in August.
But as The Sun revealed on Monday, when she later spent £350 on a trip to Amsterdam to be with him again, she found herself stood up at the airport — then got a text reading: “You’ve been pigged”.
The game, popular among groups of young men, involves deciding who is the ugliest girl in a group and “pulling” her, just to amuse their mates.
Now Sophie, 24, wants her story told so that other girls may avoid a similar pitfall. She said: “I was devastated when he sent me the message.
“Boys and their friends think it’s funny but they don’t think how scary it is for girls. It wasn’t just being stood up, it was the shock and confusion. I panicked.
“I thought, ‘If this guy is horrible and crazy enough to make me come all this way for a joke, what else is he capable of?’
“I was terrified he knew which hotel I was in, my name, my number — was he planning on coming over, or stalking me? What if he turned up outside my hotel room?”
Student Jesse, 21, first released a statement claiming he had not slept with Sophie, was not in love with her, and the whole story was untrue.
Since then he has changed his story, admitting he did sleep with Sophie, but claiming he had had no contact with her after their stay in Barcelona.
However Sophie, from Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs, tells a very different story. She said: “We met on the night of the terror attack when our hotel was in lockdown so my friend and I were on the rooftop having a drink.
“Jesse and his friends approached us and started chatting. I thought they were nice guys.
“We met up again a few days later, then spent the rest of our time with them. I slept with him in the hotel room and when I left, we spoke to each other every day.
“We’d talk about our day, what we were up to, that we missed each other, and that we wanted to see each other again.
“He was going to visit me, but couldn’t come over for a while, so I suggested visiting him.
“He seemed really chuffed and was messaging me right up until I was getting on the plane.
“When I got there and he didn’t show, I honestly couldn’t believe it.
“It was bad enough that he ignored me, but to text me saying, ‘You’ve been pigged’ was just awful.
“Now that he’s saying it is all a lie shows the sort of guy he is. He won’t even apologise or admit what he did was wrong.”
Of course, Sophie is not alone. Research by the National Union of Students has found that 50 per cent of young people experienced “prevailing sexism, laddism and a culture of harassment” at universities.
As a result of the findings, the then Women and Equalities Minister Jo Swinson convened a summit on “lad culture” to try to help stamp out the rising problems it is causing young women in the UK.
Sophie says her experience with Jesse has changed her life, and she feels that more needs to be done to stop such behaviour.
She said: “We shouldn’t stand for this as women. That’s why I decided to name him. I was so embarrassed, but I thought, ‘If I tell people what he’s done, just as a laddy joke, then maybe he’ll realise how awful it is, and it will make other guys think twice before playing these games with women.’”
Sophie’s mum Julie, 50, a warehouse worker, said: “I’d never heard of this game. I’m disgusted. This never happened in my day.
“I saw her on the phone to him every day. I heard his voice on the other end of the line, I saw the messages — it’s disgusting that he is denying it. What a coward.
“Why would we make this up? It’s a good thing he’s in Amsterdam or I’d string him up.
“Sophie said as she was getting on the plane that he was calling her and telling her he couldn’t wait to meet her at the hotel.
“It just shows the lengths he was going to to make a fool of her.”
Sophie’s experience has done nothing to increase her confidence with relationships. She said: “I’ve been on dates before, but nothing long-term.
“I go out and sometimes guys will come up to me, but these days they never just come up and say, ‘Hi, what’s your name?’ Instead they’ll leave it until the end of the night and come up to me and say, ‘You’ve got massive t*ts.’ That’s hardly boyfriend material. I just reply, ‘I know, thanks.’ I’ve been on Tinder a few times, but given up on it.
What is lad culture?
Defined as a group or “pack” mentality residing in activities such as sport and heavy alcohol consumption, and “banter” which is often sexist and misogynist.
“I once went on a Tinder date to a pub. The guy was nice but halfway through he answered his phone to his ex-girlfriend.
“Afterwards he said, ‘We’re still close.’ I just thought, ‘I’m not up for this.’ I’m only 24 so it’s not like I’m desperate to have a boyfriend, but Jesse seemed different. He seemed genuinely interested in me.
“A friend who was in Barcelona with me said she thought Jesse and I had chemistry, that he seemed besotted with me.
“It has completely knocked my confidence. I don’t like leaving the house on my own, I don’t like looking at my phone in case he’s messaged me, and I feel sick if I think about it too much.
“If I saw Jesse now I don’t know what I’d say to him other than, ‘Why me?’ I looked back over everything, thinking, ‘What did I wear that made him think that?’
“When I got home that weekend my cousin made me go out to try to take my mind off it. But she had to call my mum to come and pick me up because I felt so horrible.
“So many people have messaged me nice things and other girls have told me about similar things happening to them.
“They’ve said they never told anyone because they were embarrassed but now they are speaking out.
Popular 'games'
SLUT-SHAMING: When men take a picture of their sleeping one-night stand and then post it online.
DISCO RODEO: Men choose song and each find “ugliest” girl to dance with. Then jump on her back and ride her as if at a rodeo. Winner is whoever stays on their girl’s back the longest.
“One girl was approached on a dance floor by a guy trying to dance with her. She told him to go away, then he said, ‘You’ve made me lose a £5 bet. My friends bet I couldn’t dance with the fattest girl in here.’
“It’s disgusting. More needs to be done to stop these boys.”
