Mum reveals she ALWAYS reads her children’s texts while another thinks it’s an invasion of their privacy… so who is in the right?
TV personality Rebecca Jane reckons it's simply a method of responsible parenting - but journalist Judy Hanson, who has four children, disagrees, calling it a betrayal of their trust
SHOULD you check up on your kids by checking their phones?
Yesterday Culture Secretary Karen Bradley called on parents to read their children’s texts to protect them online - amid accusations the Tories have watered down their internet safety plans.
The mum-of-two admitted she checks her kids’ messages, much to the annoyance of her 11 and 13-year-old sons.
But should we be screening their phones and social media?
Or is doing so a gross invasion of their privacy?
Here two mums offer very opposing views on the controversial topic...
'I do it all the time - and I don't feel guilty,' says Rebecca Jane, TV personality and founder of the Lady Detective Agency
Checking your children's messages is simply a method of responsible parenting.
I am the mother of two daughters; Paris, who is 11, and Peaches, who is four. I have no problem reading her messages and what she posts online.
More importantly, she's happy for me to do so - because she has nothing to hide.
How would you feel if you found out your son or daughter was trolling people online?
They had written comments on a stranger's Instagram picture that they were ugly, fat or even that they probably "rape their children"?
You'd be mortified, right? I know I certainly would. I would feel like I had failed in my duty to be a responsible parent.
My example isn't a work of fiction either - this actually happened to me.
I had those comments left on my social media by a group of children aged 13, 14 and 15 just weeks ago. Did their parents know? I doubt it!
Everyone is on social media these days and we have a new generation who don't know how to use it appropriately. Therefore we must teach them.
In order to understand the lessons they need to learn, we have to analyse their behaviour.
There's no better reflection of their behaviour than reading messages and seeing how they truly interact with their friends.
Have I done it? Yes. There's even been an occasion where I took one of my daughters "group chats" to her primary school headmaster because the language and abuse children in that chat were demonstrating was disgusting.
I felt no guilt. The school were wonderful and sent out a very strongly worded letter to all parents.
We MUST be vigilant in order to combat online bullying and abuse. It is now just a fact of life.
Some will say it's a gross invasion of their privacy, and those people are fools!
What's worse, invading the privacy of my child by reading her messages? Or a teenager committing suicide because of the nasty things your child has said online?
Prevention is better than cure, and when we're talking about people's lives - no price is too high to pay. That may sound dramatic, but if you have any doubts about my statement. Do your research.
Hannah Smith (14), Ciara Pugsley (15), Erin Gallagher (13), Charlotte Dawson (47), Jessica Laney (14).
The next time you feel guilt for checking your child's messages, remember those names.
They are all people who committed suicide because of online abuse - abuse sent to them mainly by children.
If you think you're immune, that your darling little angel couldn't possibly say awful things to other people, you're wrong.
Every child has the potential, because they are just learning and finding their way.
It is your responsibility and duty as a parent to teach them the way.
'I have always taught my children to respect another person's privacy,' says journalist Judy Hanson
I am a staunch advocate of NOT opening mail when it has someone else's name on the envelope.
It's not yours, it's not addressed to you, so you do not open it. It is private. Why should it be any different when it comes to your kids?
My four children were taught about this issue of privacy and the importance attached to it in their early years. I am very much of the same opinion when it comes to phones.
It's your message, your text and it’s for your eyes only, unless you want to share it.
My son Jack, who is now 19, had a mobile phone from the age of 11, when his dad and I jointly agreed to let him have one.
The main reason was, as a divorced couple, it made it easier to keep track of him when he was with either parent.
From the word go, I have never asked to read his messages.
It's different when he wants to show me something himself. Something funny, or what he's working on or involved in.
Any texting Jack did was, to my mind, private.
I have always considered him to be extremely sensible, level-headed and considerate of other people’s feelings, so I trusted that he wouldn't text anything untoward.
I have always trusted him to make many of his own decisions, and by doing that he has learned to trust his own judgement, know his limitations and also to respect the privacy of others.
I certainly would never ask to read his messages - or snoop on them without him knowing.
Earlier this year we brought you hilariously sassy texts sent by mums to their unsuspecting kids.
Last week we revealed the new text scam that you should NEVER reply to.
