A young mum reveals terrifying ordeal at the hands of ‘charming’ childhood sweetheart who used her as a ‘human punchbag’ in front of their kids
Sam Barnett fell for Danny when she was just 17 but as soon as they tied the knot, he became violent and abusive
A YOUNG mum has bravely spoken out about how her childhood sweetheart turned into a “Jekyll and Hyde” who used her as a “human punchbag” – in front of her terrified children.
Sam Barnett, 26, fell for Danny Barnett, 31, when she was just 17, and says she was bowled over by his charm.
But he became violent and abusive after they tied the knot, shattering her self-esteem.
Sam was even brainwashed into thinking the beatings were her fault.
The mum, from Woking in Surrey, said: “Danny made me feel like it was all my fault, like if I was a better wife he wouldn’t do this.
“Eventually, I hated myself more than I hated him. The threat of violence was sometimes so paralysing that it was worse than the beatings in some ways. It kept me quiet and under his control longer.”
For years, Sam remained petrified of the man she thought she loved, feeling too isolated to ask for help.
But then, after Danny punched her so hard in the ribs that she was hospitalised, she finally realised he would never change and found the courage to report him to the police.
Undeterred, the bully tried to cover his tracks, initially faking emails to himself and changing the date on a card Sam had sent him to make it look like the pair were still together and happy.
Eventually, however, he admitted three counts of assault causing actual bodily harm and one of perverting the course of justice, leading to him being jailed for 18 months in March this year.
Now happily engaged to new partner Nick, 36, the father of her new baby boy, Sam is speaking out to urge others trapped in abusive relationships to seek help.
She insisted: “No matter what your abusers say, it’s never just the once. Violence will escalate and escalate. I want to help show others out there that this isn’t their fault, and that they do have that inner strength.”
Sam continued: “It’s important to get out of violent relationships safely, and find someone you trust to help you to do that. We deserve better than threats, violence and isolation, and somebody that loves you should never want to hurt you.”
Sam and Danny first met in January 2009, when they worked in the same Chinese restaurant.
Just a teenager and six years his junior, she was initially cautious, fearing he was “a bit of a player.” But, after spending some time together as friends, she developed feelings for him and agreed to go on a date that June.
“We had slap up steak dinner and a cinema trip to see The Hangover. By the end of the evening, I’d totally fallen for him,” she recalled.
Within two months, Sam had moved in with Danny and, in February 2011, they tied the knot at Weybridge Register Office.
Soon after the wedding, cracks started to show.
“Danny would get really angry if anyone ever criticised me, and told me my friends were bad influences,” Sam said.
“At first, I thought he was just being protective. I’d always been independent, so perhaps I was looking for someone to look after me, but other people wised up to him quite quickly.
“It drove a wedge between me and my friends, and I wouldn’t go to them as much to talk about him.”
By August 2011, the pair became parents to a little girl but, when she was just two months old, Sam said Danny was violent for the first time.
She continued: “We were arguing in the car about something petty and it was getting quite heated. Suddenly, he grabbed the back of my hair and slammed my head against the window. When we got home, I ran inside and locked myself in the bathroom.
“When I finally came out, he told me he’d done it to calm me down. Looking back, I wish I’d left there and then, but I was too far under his spell, and wanted to believe it was a one-off.”
After that, Sam said the beatings escalated, recalling how Danny would punch her, or yank her thumb back so hard that, on one occasion, she damaged the tendons in her hand.
She added: “He’d never say he was sorry. He told me that I pushed his buttons. It was always my fault. Eventually, I was in such a low place that I developed agoraphobia, and was too terrified to go out.
“I lived on a knife edge, never knowing what he’d do next. Sometimes, the glimpses of the Danny I’d fallen in love with would reappear, but then he’d switch again. I was completely cut off from everyone, but I was so in love with him that I was blind to what he was doing.”
In 2013, Sam discovered she was pregnant once again – this time, with a boy.
Though she knew Danny would never harm either of their children, she said the idea of them witnessing him beating her was too much to bear, and gave her the determination to leave.
At six months pregnant, she moved out to a council house with their daughter.
She added: “When I told Danny I was leaving, I braced myself for an explosion. But he just said, ‘fine.’”
Not wanting the children to grow up without their dad in their lives, Sam allowed Danny to have a key to her new place so he could see them regularly.
But, she believes that this – along with the fact they were still technically married – made him think of her as his “property.”
“Things were okay for a while, then the violence started again. He was very jealous, and made it difficult to move on. After years of having my confidence chipped away at, I didn’t think I deserved to,” she said.
In April 2015, Sam thought she’d finally been given a way out when Danny told her he wanted a divorce.
As they had not been together in two years, she agreed – but he reacted with fury, thinking she was not upset enough about the breakdown of their relationship.
Punching her to the ground, he threatened to burn her hair, before storming off and leaving her with an agonising pain in her side.
Worried she had internal bleeding, Sam phoned 999, where the operator instructed her not to move until paramedics could reach her.
But when they arrived, she said Danny refused to answer the door for her.
“With every ounce of strength I had left, I hauled myself up and staggered to the door,” she said.
“The ambulance raced me to St Peter’s Hospital in Chertsey and I left Danny back at mine, minding the kids as they slept. I knew he wouldn’t hurt them. He reserved his violent temper for me.”
At hospital, medics told Sam she had internal bruising, suddenly bringing her a moment of clarity.
She said: “In that moment, I realised that no matter how many punches I took, Danny would never stop. What if he killed me next time and left the kids without a mum?
“I owed it to them – and myself – to report him. It was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever had to do, I told a nurse everything and she contacted the police.”
Following Sam’s report, Danny was arrested, but initially denied everything.
In a bid to cover up his crimes, he accessed her email account and falsified two messages pretending to be her, making it seem like the tales of the abuse she had suffered were false.
But, as soon as she saw them in her sent box, Sam alerted police, hoping this would prove she had nothing to hide.
In the run-up to the trial at Guildford Crown Court, she was petrified she would have to testify.
Fortunately, at the last minute, Danny changed his plea to guilty and was sentenced to 18 months in prison.
Now Sam is looking ahead to her future with Nick, who she is set to marry after he proposed up the London Eye.
She also hopes to use her harrowing experience to help others.
“Danny tried to twist and turn who I was, but he doesn’t have control anymore,” she said.
“Nick has shown me that I deserve better, and after being silent for so long, I feel empowered talking about things.
“I’ve been through an awful journey, but I’ve come out the other side safer and stronger.”
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