From leaving an unhappy marriage to switching jobs — four women reveal the instant they knew they need to change their lives
FIRST there was the midlife crisis.
But this year is all about the midlife breakthrough – having a lightbulb moment that sparks a big change.
Former Eternal singer Louise Redknapp, 42 is the figurehead.
After appearing on Strictly last year, she split from retired footballer Jamie, her husband of 19 years, and is concentrating on putting herself first.
The mum of two said: “I lost myself. This happens to a lot of women when they get married and have children. You have this feeling, ‘Where did I go?’ ”
Here, four women tell LYNSEY CLARKE and CLAIRE DUNWELL they chose to make the change.
Broke away from an unhappy marriage
SINGLE Jane Gray, 46, runs an online arts business and lives in Cheltenham with her children Luca, 14, Corinna, 13, and Frankie, ten.
At 41, she called time on her 11-year marriage and says she has never felt better.
She says: "My 40th birthday was a huge turning point for me because I realised I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in an unhappy marriage.
"When the children came along, I decided with my husband to leave my full-time job and be a stay-at-home mum. I happily devoted myself to that but after a decade, I was desperate to get my independence back.
"I’d lost part of who I was before, and being financially dependent on someone else never sat well with me. I spent my late thirties trying to make things work with my husband but we’d grown apart.
"I was 41 and training for a marathon when I had my lightbulb moment. Long hours running on my own gave me a lot of time to think about what I wanted in life. I couldn’t carry on being unhappy and days later, I ended things.
"My friends and family were pretty shocked. It felt like a weight had lifted and while telling the children is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I have no regrets. I feel like the Jane I was in my twenties – more driven, confident and happier than ever. Getting out there and living life to the full doesn’t make you any less of a mum.
"I hope some day I’ll be able to show my kids what it’s like to be in a happy relationship."
Turned from frumpy to fabulous
FORMER events manager Joanne Collins, 47, turned her life around, going from frumpy to fabulous.
She lives in Southampton with her husband Mark, 46, who runs a curtain business, and children Luke, ten, and Finlay, six.
She says: "Growing up, I had always been fit and active but then my struggles with weight began after having Luke.
"I adored baking for my family and cooking big, hearty meals – and after having Finlay, I was the heaviest I had ever been.
"My lightbulb moment came during a family holiday at Center Parcs just over two years ago.
"I should have been able to swim and cycle with my children, like the other mums we had gone with.
"But as a size 22 and almost 18st, the only activity I really enjoyed was eating.
"Even just walking around the park with my husband left me exhausted.
"As soon as we got home, I burst into tears. I felt I wasn’t just letting myself down, but letting my family down. I knew I had to change.
"Having tried and failed countless diets in the past, I signed up to the Cambridge Weight Plan. I’m now a size 12 and weigh 10st 10lb. We went to a different Center Parcs last year and this time I took part in everything. It was like the same holiday with a different mum."
Put herself first and found the one
NHS programme manager Debbie Crohn’s confidence was at rock bottom until she got chatting to university lecturer Nick, 47, on a dating website two years ago – and realised she had finally met “the one”.
Debbie, 45, who is mum to Scott, 26, Daniel, 22, and Sophie, 21, lives in Hull.
She says: "I spent 15 years being a single mum after my relationship broke down, and that was my priority.
"I was juggling looking after the children with work and there was no time to think about me.
"I lost my self-respect and put myself at the bottom of the list when it came to relationships. I felt I wasn’t important.
"My needs always came second and I didn’t think about myself or my appearance.
"I was on my way to New York with Sophie when she took a photo of me at the airport.
"I was a frumpy size 20 and nothing like the person I wanted to be. It was in that moment that I knew I had to change. I’d spent my whole life thinking about everyone else and now it was time for me.
"A few weeks later I signed up to online dating website Plenty of Fish and soon hit it off with Nick. I was a little nervous before we met for the first time but when he arrived, he brought the most gorgeous bunch of flowers.
"He showed me I did matter and that a relationship is really about love and mutual respect. With my exes, every time I did something for myself they weren’t supportive so I lost my confidence and felt worthless.
"Nick is the opposite and supports me in everything I do. When we got married last year, I was a size 12 and felt the most confident I have ever been.
"Now I don’t recognise myself in the airport photo.
"I don’t want to remember the sad and unhappy person I used to be because I’ve got my sparkle back."
Changed my career to spend more time with the kids
TWO years ago, senior civil servant Sarah Kelly, 44, quit her job and set up her own upholstery business so she could be a more hands-on mum.
She lives in Manchester with husband John, 57, a business consultant, daughter Olivia, six, and stepchildren, Abigail, 23, Luke, 17, and Alex, 16.
She says: "I was 42 and burnt out trying to juggle work with a family.
"Most days I left the house by 7am, which meant I never did the school run and I rarely got home in time to see Olivia before she went to bed. When I did make it to the school, I was a stranger in the playground.
"I felt I was letting Olivia down because I couldn’t be around for important school assemblies or sports days.
"I had to rely on Abigail to help out with school pick-ups and babysitting because I was always at work.
"John works full-time and the situation was not working for any of us.
"I was grumpy, stressed and distracted because I was being pulled in too many directions.
"I would just lie awake at night worrying because I had so much on my mind.
"My lightbulb moment came when I realised I couldn’t have it all and something had to give.
"Making the decision to leave my job was a big risk financially but life’s just too short to be unhappy.
"Creating bespoke footstools was my hobby and two years ago I set up my business, Nellie K.
"Now I work around my family, which is what I’ve always wanted.
"I drop Olivia at school and walk to my workshop. My only regret is not making the 7 change sooner.
