Widower’s heartbreaking struggle to read apology letter from drunk driver who killed his wife while swigging wine at the wheel
Naomi Oxley was jailed for four years earlier this month after admitting causing death by dangerous driving
A WIDOWER has spoken of his struggle to forgive the drunk driver who killed his wife after swigging wine at the wheel – revealing he cannot bring himself to read her apology letter.
Ian Masters, 51, was enjoying a stroll near his home in Battle, East Sussex, with his wife, Debbie, 37, their boys Noah, eight, Buster, one, and his 12-year-old stepson, Kaden, when Naomi Oxley, 35, careered off the road, ploughing into them.
Ian, a retired civil servant, said two of the boys still suffer night terrors after witnessing the carnage on March 19 this year.
He said: “After losing Debbie, I went through a very bad, angry period. Although that’s passed, I still can’t read Oxley’s apology letter. I’m not interested in that right now.
“When I think of Oxley, I don’t feel anything towards her. But, in my mind, drink driving is equal to manslaughter. You know exactly what you’re doing when you get behind the wheel.”
The day of the accident – which saw Oxley jailed for four years earlier this month after admitting causing death by dangerous driving – began like any other for Ian and Debbie.
Lovers of the outdoors, they had gone out for a family walk around Battle high street.
But, as they passed a local café, Oxley’s car swerved off the road, knocking Ian unconscious and pinning stay-at-home mum Debbie up against the wall.
Ian said: “Noah was thrown up in the air and Buster’s pushchair was more-or-less flattened.
“Kaden was walking slightly ahead, so he wasn’t hit, but he saw the whole thing. He saw his mum trapped against the wall. No child should ever see that.”
Ian came to in an ambulance on the way to Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton.
He was told Debbie was also being taken there, while the boys were heading to Conquest Hospital in Hastings. The youngsters were only found to have minor injuries.
A surgeon warned Ian, who had suffered a head injury and broken several bones, that Debbie was seriously injured. A few hours later, they confirmed she had died.
Ian recalled: “My bed was wheeled down to her, so I could see her. She was all scratched up. It was absolutely horrendous.”
Ian was discharged the next day and had to face telling the boys that their mum had gone.
“They didn’t believe me, at first. They thought it was a joke. When we all went to see her in the chapel of rest, they thought her body was a doll,” he said.
“Even now, Noah thinks his mum will be coming back. When the café first reopened, he convinced himself she’d be sitting inside. When she wasn’t, he started saying she’d come back on Christmas Day instead.
“It’s really hard to hear. What am I supposed to tell him?”
Police arrested Oxley, who had also been taken to Conquest Hospital and was found to be twice the legal drink-drive limit.
She pleaded guilty, sparing the family the ordeal of a trial, but Ian was still subjected to heart-wrenching details of what happened, during her sentencing.
Lewes Crown Court heard how, upset about a boyfriend, Oxley had downed two-and-a-half bottles of wine the night before, followed by more at breakfast.
Deciding to drive to her brother’s house, she stopped off at Tesco for yet more wine, swigging it at the wheel.
As she continued to drive, her pet Shih Tzu dog distracted her by pawing at the handbrake – and, as she tried to put the animal back in the passenger seat, she swerved off the road and into Debbie and her family.
Speaking of Oxley’s four-year sentence, Ian said: “I know that judges can only do what they can within guidelines, but four years doesn’t seem enough. She’ll probably be out in two. Right now, the sentences aren’t a deterrent, so people think they can get away with being so irresponsible.”
Paying tribute to his late wife, Ian said: “Debbie’s whole life was her family. She always put us first, and went without so the boys could have what they needed. She was particularly into Christmas and the boys’ birthdays. She’d go all out for them and make them really special.”
He continued: “It destroys me that she won’t get to see her babies grow up, like all mums expect to.
“The boys have been so brave. They went to the funeral, which was very difficult. Lots and lots of people came to pay respect.
“Seeing the boys’ faces every day, knowing they won’t be raised by a mother who adored them so much, is heartbreaking.”
But Ian does not want the world to remember Debbie for the horrible way in which she died. He would prefer her to be celebrated for how wonderful she was in life.
And, with he and the boys due to start counselling soon, he hopes that talking about the happier times will help them to process their loss.
They have planted a flowering cherry tree in their garden in Debbie’s memory, and plan to decorate her grave at Battle cemetery with toys and Lego figures that her sons have made her.
They also plan to inscribe on her headstone the phrase ‘No matter what’ – a mantra the couple would repeat to each other when times were tough.
“I miss her so much. We never spent a single moment apart,” said Ian.
“I want her remembered as a great wife and mum. She did absolutely everything for us, and I was I was always amazed by the love and devotion she showed me. Without her, the days never seem to end, but I have to carry on for the boys.”
Earlier this month, a gran caught drink driving was FIVE times over the limit and had a bottle of wine by the handbrake.
