Why Tinder is ‘toxic’ to men…by three blokes who claim they get TOO MUCH sex via the app that leaves them ‘lonely’ and ‘feeling like prostitutes’
Dating apps such as Tinder mean that it has never been easier for men to hook up with women
IT sounds like every young man’s idea of heaven: endless sex with a constant stream of gorgeous, up-for-it women who don’t even expect a pizza date before, or a conversation afterwards – and all via a tap on your smartphone.
Yet incredibly, a new generation of handsome, successful – and sexually prolific – Tinder-weary lads are claiming sex with hundreds of one-night stands is leaving them burned out, bored – and lonely.
Despite bedding a bevvie of beauties, they claim they’re desperate for lasting romance – and broody for children with a new wave of sexually-liberated young women who just don’t want to commit.
I got to know a group of these seemingly lucky men after I co-wrote the UK’s biggest ever academic study into more than 2,000 British men, released this week.
Called the , the survey was conducted by University College London and , a new men’s grooming company that’s just launched in the UK.
Harry’s wanted to shatter the myths around masculinity, and discover what truly made modern men tick in 2017.
One of the more surprising findings was that while married men are by far the happiest in Britain, the least content men were single, who are a full 10 per cent less positive – and this was especially true of those aged 18 to 29.
But why were these young men – who we’ve historically deemed to be footloose, fancy-free and in their sexual prime – having a hard time?
The answers were genuinely eye-opening. We discovered a new wave of men who have been left feeling exhausted and fleeced of their money by digital dating – and left confused about who truly holds the gender power in modern romance.
One of these was Simone Ippolito, 25, from Bournemouth, a self-confessed Tinder “player” for two years.
The salesman and part-time model claimed: “When I first got Tinder two years ago, it was heaven. In three months I got 300 matches. They were coming so fast I couldn’t keep up.
“People on Tinder are only there for sex. I’ve been on 200 dates, and I get a result 99 per cent of the time.
“Getting sex is too easy. You get bored of it. Tinder takes all the pleasure out of flirting. It’s not fun anymore. Tinder is literally two glasses of wine then back home for sex. There is no emotion.
"It is boring, empty and lonely. You can’t have a nice conversation after mechanical sex. It’s just sex and go. Now I just want to stop it and settle down”.
Talking to other single men, it rapidly became clear that while dating apps like Tinder means it’s never been easier to get sex, it’s never been harder to fall in love.
This sentiment was echoed by Gary Barnett, 34, social media manager from Brighton, who’s been single for three months.
“For the first time ever in human history, sex is on tap,” he says.
“Nine times out of ten you don’t even have to go out on a date. If a girl likes your photos, they just come round.
“If you’re half attractive you’re bombarded with offers.You can go on Tinder dates every single night of the week.
"The social interaction is totally lacking. You can have sex and never talk again.
“They always ask the same three questions. 'Hi how are you?' 'how's your week been?' or 'I love your beard/tattoos'. That’s literally code for ‘do you want to f***?’
“That was really good for the first year. I filled my boots. After 50 Tinder dates, including 20 in the last two months with no sign of any ‘keepers,’ I’m over it. You get to the point where you can’t be bothered to do it anymore”.
The Harry’s Masculinity Report revealed that not only is technology changing the way we have sex, but, in this new digital world, it is women who are on top.
Gary added: “The gender roles in dating are being completely flipped. Women hold the power, and it can be difficult, weird and bizarre”.
This new world order – plus a desire to return to more traditional ways of meeting women, dating and settling down – is meaning many men are deleting the app. We discovered others, like Pim van der Berg, 29, who went on a 50-day Tinder detox.
“I think dating apps like Tinder are not good for us,” says Pim, a company owner from Notting Hill.
“They are making us lonelier”.
While Alistair Seed, 25, a headhunter from Kingston, who has deleted Tinder after being single for three years, added: “Sex is now just another digital commodity. We order clothes on ASOS and we order sex on Tinder.
"This is completely normal to today’s generation. But it’s leaving many men feeling empty and unfulfilled.";
These men's experiences come as figures also suggest that half of singletons in Britain have NEVER asked someone on a date face to face.
Meanwhile another study has claimed that the dating app is fuelling a return of our "basic mating urges".
