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Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop has released its bizarre Christmas gift list – including a dog teepee, a £130 compost bin and ‘medicine’ crystals costing £63

We can't promise you'll be able to afford anything in Gwyneth Paltrow's guide...

GWYNETH Paltrow's website Goop has released its Christmas gift lift, and there are some seriously bizarre items on offer.

From £188 designer shoes for girls to a camel milk home delivery service, costing £77 a month, the presents are expensive and bonkers in equal measures.

 Gwyneth Paltrow's website Goop has released its Christmas gift guide - and the prices are even more crazy than the products
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Gwyneth Paltrow's website Goop has released its Christmas gift guide - and the prices are even more crazy than the productsCredit: Getty Images - Getty

But they're clearly popular across the Pond, with many of the items selling out in the countdown to Christmas.

We're afraid most of them are only available in the United States and Canada.

But, to be fair, they may be out of your price range anyway!

: £120

 Among her shop's products is this £120 teepee for DOGS
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Among her shop's products is this £120 teepee for DOGSCredit: Goop

What do you buy for the pampered pooch who has everything? A dog teepee, of course.

This two-toned teepee, by Meeko, can be adjusted to fit around your pet's bed.

: £131

 Probably the most expensive bin you'll ever own, this compost container is £131
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Probably the most expensive bin you'll ever own, this compost container is £131Credit: Goop

Put your money where your mouth is when it comes to saving the planet, with this countertop compost bin.

Probably the fanciest bin you'll ever own, it's made from solid walnut and stainless steel.

: £64

 She's also selling a set of 8 'medicinal' crystals for £64
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She's also selling a set of 8 'medicinal' crystals for £64Credit: Goop

Winter is the prime time to catch a flu, so keep yourself healthy with these "medicinal" crystals.

The "essential" starter kit contains eight different stones - which are perfect for an introduction into spiritual healing.

: £188

 These Christian Louboutin shoes for kids cost £188
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These Christian Louboutin shoes for kids cost £188Credit: Goop

Christian Louboutin are now making silk ballet slippers for your little princess, and they have a royally high price tag to match.

The silk pumps come with the signature red sole - so all your friends and family will know your daughter has style.

: £206

 This special Harry Potter gift set costs more than £200
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This special Harry Potter gift set costs more than £200Credit: Goop

This complete Harry Potter set has been given a Gryffindor makeover, but you'll have to pay for the privilege of owning the hardcover books.

 is selling the complete Harry Potter set for £39.99 - meaning this version is more than five times the price.

: £77-a-month

 Want camel milk delivered to your door? It can be done - but will cost you £77-a-month
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Want camel milk delivered to your door? It can be done - but will cost you £77-a-monthCredit: Desert Farms

Milkman stopped doing his morning glass bottle rounds in your home town?

Never fear, Goop has the solution - a camel milk home delivery service from Desert Farms. But it doesn't come cheap.

If you fancy trying some camel milk, you can pick a carton up in Asda for £2.85.

: £236

 You definitely wouldn't want to smash these dinner plates - which cost £236 for four
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You definitely wouldn't want to smash these dinner plates - which cost £236 for fourCredit: Goop

You'll need to be careful not to chip or smash this , from Prospect New York.

The cheeky plates, which read statements like Eat Me, I Crave You and Sweet As Pie, cost £236 for a set of four. That's one pricey table service set.

: £124

 These handwritten cards cost £124
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These handwritten cards cost £124Credit: Goop

Send your partner an adult Valentine's card with this set - which was made exclusively for Goop.

There are 16 hand-illustrated images in the extravagant pack.

: £123

 Too posh for Poundland? This sex toy costs £123
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Too posh for Poundland? This sex toy costs £123Credit: Goop

This couples' sex toy is remote controlled, and can be used by both parties at once.

But, like everything else in the range, it doesn't come cheap...

: £188

 Want the great outdoors to come indoors? Then this £188 meditation headband is the one for you
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Want the great outdoors to come indoors? Then this £188 meditation headband is the one for youCredit: Goop

Struggling to switch off from technology? This USB meditation headband provides soothing sounds to help you deepen your practice.

It will fill your head with the great outdoors and, when your mind starts to wander, the sound intensifies. Of course, you could just sit in a park for free...

: £1,125

 Goop recommends buying this £1,125 board for your kids
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Goop recommends buying this £1,125 board for your kidsCredit: OneWheel.com

Gwynnie has included this one in her kids' gift guide - even though it costs more than a grand.

Travel in style on the Onewheel Plus board.

: £6,944

 This bar cart for the host with the most costs nearly £7k
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This bar cart for the host with the most costs nearly £7kCredit: RWGuild

Need the perfect present for the host with the most? This claro walnut, mirrored glass and burnished brass bar cart could be just the tonic you need.

Roman and Williams make each of the carts to order - so they take between eight and 10 weeks to come.

In related news, Gwyneth’s shop is also selling Sex Dust and Psychic Vampire Repellent… and the prices are even more crazy than the products.

While the actress has admitted she has NEVER used jade "vagina eggs" and has "no idea" what her website Goop is on about most of the time.

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