From kissing more to sex vitamins, we reveal 10 ways you and your partner can boost your libido

Sex: men think about it up to 388 times a day, and we gals aren’t far behind – it crosses our minds up to 140 times!*

So why have 35% of women and 15% of men lost interest in it?

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It seems our libidos have left the building, with almost one in 10 women admitting they don’t have sex with their partner at all any more.

“Libidos fluctuate depending on what’s going on in our lives, and personal and external influences have an impact,” says relationship expert Dr Becky Spellman.

Stress, kids, body image and hormones are factors for you and him. And with so many causes, there’s not one magic solution, but here are our top libido lifts.

For you

Consider your contraception

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Ironically, the Pill – you know, that tablet you take to not get pregnant from all the sex you’re having – can actually lower your sex drive.

Synthetic oestrogens increase levels of a substance called sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG) in the body, which is associated with low libido.

Swapping to a progestogen-based contraceptive may help, or you could choose a non-hormonal method like condoms. You could also consider a fertility planning app.

Natural Cycles, from £5.99 per month, is the first app certified as a contraceptive device in the EU. It has a lower success rate than the Pill, though – around 93% – so it’s not for everyone.

Balance your body

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Stress kills libido, but if you can’t stop it, fight it with the hottest health trend of the moment: adaptogens.

These herbs can help manage the release of stress hormones from the adrenal glands. One such adaptogen is the Ayurvedic herb shatavari, which may also help improve sex drive.

“Its name translates to: ‘she who has 100 husbands’,” says Pukka herbalist Katie Pande.

Try Pukka Womankind supplement, £16.95 for 30 capsules.

Do more things on your own

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A University of Southampton study found interest in sex waned in relationships over a year old.

And according to relationship expert Lyn Smith, one reason for this is the idea of “us and them” that happens as you become loved-up.

Independence will help create the space your sex drive needs – have a night out every week with the girls.

Anything that makes you feel like you rather than part of “us” will revive this part of your life.

Take the sex vitamin

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If your libido has dipped over winter, a lack of vitamin D might be to blame.

You naturally make this from sunlight, but no rays mean no vitamin D and low levels equal a low sex drive, according to a study by Istanbul’s Sisli Etfal Training And Research Hospital.

Take a supplement of 400iu daily, and get your partner on it, too, as low vitamin D levels have also been linked to erectile dysfunction in men.

Kiss more

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Saliva passed from men during kissing contains testosterone, which raises women’s libido, researchers at Rutgers University have found. And snogging gets your head into a sexier place.

“Most therapists agree that sex begins in the head and your body’s physical reaction follows,” says hormone expert Dr Marilyn Glenville. Masturbation also piques your interest.

“It can be a way to reconnect with your body’s sensual pleasure. Once you’re back in touch with your desires, it can be less daunting to connect with your partner’s,” adds Marilyn.

Check out couple-friendly sex toys at , or channel your inner Anastasia with the Fifty Shades range at .

For him

Go easy at the gym

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While moderate exercise raises sex drive, the University of North Carolina found that excessive working out lowers testosterone – taking libido with it.

Professor Anthony Hackney, who led the research, says: “Right now, research findings don’t indicate the exact threshold of training that might affect libido.”

But if you’re always in the gym, try easing off to find the level that works for you – and your sex drive.

Drink like a South American

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The herb maca is a traditional aphrodisiac in Peru – on a Friday night couples make their way to the maca stall to order their drinks.

“Maca is known for its ability to boost energy and stamina.

It also directly improves the quality and quantity of sperm,” says Katie.

Try adding the contents of a capsule such as Viridian Organic Maca Root, £12.40 for 60, to a smoothie or protein shake.

Do your bit around the house

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Men who pull their weight with chores had sex more often and were more satisfied with their sex lives than those who didn’t do their fair share, according to the University of Alberta.

The research didn’t explore why, but as tiredness is the main reason women don’t want to have sex, maybe it just gives your partner a bit more time to recharge.

Or maybe it’s “choreplay” – the name Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg gives to the sexual buzz women get from watching men do housework!

Keep your hands off your bits

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Recent masturbation is one of the main habits associated with lowered interest in sex for men.

According to experts, the more you DIY it, the less interested you are in doing the deed with a partner as sexual tension doesn’t get a chance to build up.

Cut back on sugar

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Male libido is fuelled by testosterone, but the sweet stuff depletes it for a whopping two hours after you tuck in.

It’s not a small dip, either – just two cans of cola cut testosterone by 25%.

And while you’re overhauling your diet, up your levels of healthy unsaturated fats – such as walnuts, oily fish, eggs and seeds – which are necessary to produce sex hormones.

Photography:

• Camera Press/Jalag (image posed by models)

Sources:

• Ohio State University at Mansfield, University of Southampton, International Andrology, Massachusetts General Hospital and Nipissing University

Stockists:

• Pukka (), Viridian ( The Cupid’s Bow Technique by Lyn Smith (£4.99, CreateSpace) Visit