Five brave women open up about their mental health struggles to encourage others to get help
ONE in four of us suffers from mental illness, which can range from debilitating anxiety to hearing voices, self-harm or eating disorders.
But despite the problem being so widespread, those suffering from it often feel alone and unable to share their agony.
Time To Change is a campaign led by mental health charities Mind and Rethink Mental Illness.
Sue Baker, director of Time To Change, says: “Too many people with mental health problems are made to feel isolated, worthless and ashamed.
“Talking about mental health, whatever your experiences, makes life better for all of us.”
Here, LYNSEY HOPE meets five women who are brave enough to speak up about their mental health struggles.
Find out more online at .
Three of these women have written books about their battles.
- Lucy Nichol’s A Series Of Unfortunate Stereotypes was published on Monday and is available at , while Olivia Siegl’s Bonkers is due out on Thursday.
- Hope Virgo’s Stand Tall Little Girl was published last year and is also available at .
'I told my husband I was seeing demons'
OLIVIA SIEGL, 39, was struck down by post-partum psychosis following the births of her daughters, Eva, five, and Isla-Mai, three.
The writer, who lives in Bridgnorth, Shrops, with sales director husband Jamie, 39, says: "Eva was born six weeks premature and while she went from strength to strength, I felt anxious – and not just 'new mum' anxious.
"I was scared to leave the house, terrified something bad was going to happen to her.
"I spoke to Jamie but we thought it was what all new parents go through.
"I had a checklist of things I had to do each day and if I didn’t get through it, I felt like a failure.
"Some days I was so fuelled by anxiety I would get through it like Superwoman.
"Other days I wouldn’t even get out of my pyjamas.
"My husband convinced me to see the doctor after a breakdown.
"I thought the doctor would just say: 'Yes, you are an unfit mother.'
"But the GP was incredibly supportive. I was put on antidepressants and recommended for counselling.
I had a checklist of things I had to do each day and if I didn’t get through it, I felt like a failure
Olivia on how her anxiety affected her
"I had my first psychotic episode when Eva was eight months.
"I phoned Jamie and told him I was seeing demons outside the house and they were trying to kill Eva.
";I would often see a man on the sofa. He would follow me around the house telling me what a bad mother I was.
"It was only when I saw someone on TV talking about post-partum psychosis that I realised what was happening to me.
"I was starting to feel well again by the time I became pregnant with Isla-Mai.
"This time I was able to spot the signs earlier and was referred for counselling.
"We are brought up to 'snap yourself out of it' but it’s so important to speak openly about it."
'I'd got A&E - I was certain I had cancer'
LUCY NICHOL, 39, lives in Newcastle with her husband and 19-year-old stepson. She works in PR and blogs about mental health.
She says: "The first time I knew I’d had a panic attack was when I was 15.
"I was at a boyfriend’s house and noticed a blemish on my arm and convinced myself it was deep vein thrombosis.
"I felt as though my throat was closing up and I felt faint. That marked the start of a lot of health anxieties.
"I’d go to A&E and clinics convinced I had cancer or meningitis.
"I was referred for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) when I was 20 and it was under control for a while, but I would sometimes relapse.
"I went travelling round New Zealand in my mid-20s and I’d spend hours in an internet cafe every day googling jaw surgery.
"I thought I had an ugly jawline and was obsessed by it.
"When I met my husband I would often say goodbye to him then convince myself he wasn’t going to come back.
"It was only when I spoke to a therapist when I was 37 that she said I was probably suffering from generalised anxiety disorder.
I’d spend hours in an internet cafe every day googling jaw surgery because I thought I had an ugly jawline and was obsessed by it
Lucy on her health anxieties
"One day I feel completely fine, the next something triggers it and I panic again.
"I’m now on medication which helps me take a step back.
"What do you think of when you imagine somebody with a mental illness?
"Somebody who is weak, scary, violent?
"I have lived with anxiety most of my life, but even I can look back and remember times when I haven’t been so understanding of other people’s mental health problems.
"We have all been guilty of it. It can happen to anyone. We need to speak out more."
'Voices in my head told me I was ugly'
NIKKI MATTOCKS, 20, a health care assistant, from Guildford, Surrey, was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in her teens.
She says: "I started to feel different when I was six years old.
"I was bullied early in life but in my teens I started to break down.
"My life took a downward spiral. I was self-harming and regularly attempting suicide.
"I didn’t talk to anyone about it at first. I didn’t even understand what was going on myself.
"I had no idea what “mental health” was but it got to the point where I was hurting myself and couldn’t hide it any more.
"At 14, I was admitted to a specialist mental health ward for adolescents. I was hearing voices.
"They were all negative, telling me I was worthless, ugly or fat and to hurt myself.
"I was diagnosed with borderline personal disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and depression.
"When I turned 15, I started to feel better.
This is something I will have to battle all my life, but I’ve accepted now that it’s part of me and I feel in control
Nikki on taking control of her illness
"I was at college and I started volunteering for mental health charities such as Mind and Time To Change.
"It gave me a purpose in life. I can’t say I’m now 'fixed'.
"I’ve had relapses and this is something I will have to battle all my life.
"But I’ve accepted now that it’s part of me and I feel in control.
"There is still so much stigma around mental health.
"When I first came out of hospital, my best friend’s mum stopped me seeing her as I’d been hearing voices.
"You never really know what reaction you will get.
"Lots of people are scared that they don’t know how to help people going through a mental health issue.
"I would tell them that you don’t have to be an expert – you just have to listen."
'I attempted suicide a day after I turned 18'
DANIKA McELROY, 27, a charity volunteer from Brighton, was diagnosed with psychotic depression two years ago.
She says: "I was 17 when the stress of A-levels got to me and I had my first panic attack.
"I felt under pressure to keep up – and like my brain was about to explode.
"My behaviour became reckless. I was ripping wallpaper off the wall, so my mum took me to a doctor, who referred me to A&E and I was hospitalised.
"The day after my 18th birthday, I attempted suicide.
"I then became paranoid about the damage I had done to myself.
"Things improved when I was put on antidepressants and I went on to university.
"Eventually that became too much and I started missing lectures.
"I couldn’t face getting out of bed and was constantly drinking water to “cleanse” my system.
"The GP upped my medication and I finished my degree, getting a first-class honours.
I couldn’t face getting out of bed and was constantly drinking water to “cleanse” my system
Danika on what it was like before being diagnosed with psychotic depression
"In October 2015, I got a job as a graphic designer. But three weeks in, I felt so panicked.
";It was taking me all day to make minor decisions. I would listen to people speaking but I couldn’t take anything in.
"By April 2016, I was struggling even to reply to a text from Mum. So she took two months off work to look after me.
"She stayed in my flat, cooked for me, told me when to shower and what to wear.
"In June 2016, I was diagnosed with psychotic depression. Doctors eventually recommended electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
"I was convinced it wouldn’t work but it saved my life.
"We should all feel able to talk about mental health. Often, conversations start when someone is in crisis. But that is too late."
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'An ECG showed my heart nearly stopped'
AUTHOR Hope Virgo, 27, has battled anorexia.
The mental health campaigner of Wandsworth, South West London, says: "Growing up, I always had a funny relationship with food. My battle with anorexia started when I was about 13.
"I would feel really good if I missed a meal and I became obsessed with exercise.
"Things hit rock bottom when I was 17 and I was admitted to a mental health adolescent hospital.
"I had collapsed a couple of times and was sent to hospital for an ECG, which showed my heart had almost stopped.
"My condition was critical. My hair was thin and my skin was yellow.
"I was terrified when I arrived at hospital. I couldn’t imagine a day when it would feel OK to eat.
"But I did start to put on weight and after 12 months I left the hospital and was able to start living my life again.
"I had one relapse when my grandma died, when I started obsessing with my weight again, but I got through it.
"There needs to be much better support for young people with eating disorders.
I will have to manage this for the rest of my life but I won’t let anorexia beat me
Hope on her battle with anorexia
"You can only seem to get help if your weight is so low that your medical condition is critical.
"But it’s not just about the weight. You can have an anorexic mindset and that can be very dangerous.
"Now I look like a normal girl in my 20s. I’m a healthy weight, run marathons and I enjoy eating out.
"But there are some days I do still wake up and feel unhappy with myself.
"I have moments when I panic at meal times and frantically start adding up the calories.
"It scares me but for now I am in control.
"I will have to manage this for the rest of my life but I won’t let anorexia beat me."
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