Zoe Hardman chats about the highs and lows of parenthood — and how it changed her forever
The TV presenter opens up about the life-changing moment she fell pregnant after being told she would never conceive
Three years ago, Zoe Hardman was told she’d never fall pregnant naturally.
Fast-forward to today, and the presenter is not only running around after 18-month-old daughter Luna, but baby number two is due next month.
Zoe and Wasps rugby player husband Paul Doran-Jones were just six months into their relationship in 2015 when she discovered she had a low egg reserve after getting checked out when her sister Kathryn, 37, went through an early menopause.
The couple set off down the IVF route, but unfortunately were unable to harvest as many eggs as they would have liked.
“I thought: ‘That’s it then.’ But Dozza [her nickname for Paul, 32] said: ‘Let’s just try naturally,’ and four months later I fell pregnant with Luna on New Year’s Eve.”
Since then, Zoe, 35, has launched Made By Mammas, a parenting blog offering support, tips and ideas.
And she is still presenting her Sunday-afternoon show on Heart FM while looking after Luna and being in the third trimester of her second pregnancy.
“I’ve struggled quite badly with this pregnancy. I’m in bed every night by 7.30pm,” she admits.
“Last time round, I had so much energy and continued to train right up until the end, but this time I’m just doing what I can, with yoga, Pilates and swimming. When you have a toddler to chase after, that’s your exercise right there.”
Having said that, Zoe never seems to tire on our shoot – no mean feat at 33 weeks pregnant – and is looking fabulous.
And Luna is on her best behaviour, dishing out cuddles for the crew and smiles for our photographer, with barely a grizzle the whole morning. She’s a dream, and she and Zoe are clearly the best of buddies.
“I feel like our bond has kicked up a gear. We can’t leave each other alone at the moment,” says Zoe.
“I think she knows it’s not going to be just the two of us for very much longer. It breaks my heart thinking about that, actually.
“She’s such a big girl now – blink and you’ll miss it. But it’s been the most incredible time, and I can’t believe there’s going to be another one soon!”
Are you worried about managing two kids?
No, because I’m completely prepared. [With your first child] nobody sits you down and tells you what could happen. I wish that one of my friends had said: “This might happen, and you might cry for weeks, and you might feel like s**t.” This time I’ll know, and I’ll probably talk more freely about it. I’ll also have other focuses – I’ll have Luna to look after as well, and I think the second time around it’s a bit more like: “Right, let’s get on with this!”
Is there anything you’d do differently this time?
I’m quite a relaxed parent, but I think the anxiety will be less this time. I remember the first night we had Luna at home, and every single gurgle or sniff you’re like: “Oh my god.” I didn’t sleep a wink. I just looked at her the whole night. Hopefully this time around I might be a bit more like: “Oh, baby will be fine.”
Do you think Luna understands what’s happening?
She’s knows there’s a baby in there. When I found out I was pregnant, I cried for a really long time because I suddenly felt like, how am I going to love this new baby as much as I love Luna? Or how is Luna going to get her head around that it’s not just me and her?
You’re looking amazing, but how have you been feeling during this pregnancy?
I’ve been quite emotional – I’ve had a couple of bad weeks of the cries. My hormones are all over the place. I really just try to take each day at a time and embrace the change rather than fight against it.
What’s it like seeing the changes to your body?
I think any woman will tell you that some parts are hard and some parts you love. I love seeing the bump grow and feeling the baby kick, but you’re obviously gaining weight, and you have to let yourself go completely. You can’t have any of the control you might have when you’re not pregnant.
You like to keep fit. How long after having Luna did you start working out again?
It was about six weeks after she was born, and it took me six months to get back to just over 8st – I’d put on 3st 2lb. I went to the gym five times a week, but I just took it very easy and I felt my fitness coming back after three months. I was breastfeeding, so that helped.
How long did you breastfeed for?
I did 14 weeks, and I’m very proud of myself. That’s all I could do because Luna got very ill and stopped feeding. She had bronchitis, and we were in hospital for three days. When she got her appetite back, I just couldn’t produce enough milk, but she thrived on the bottle. You do what you can, right?
How has your body changed?
For starters, my boobs! They were massive when I was breastfeeding, and when I stopped I was left with these small boobs that weren’t very full. They looked like empty sacks. They can be such sexy things and make you feel great, but that can also change. Even though I would sometimes feel disappointed, they fed my daughter for three months.
You had a tough birth with Luna…
I really want to have a natural birth again and I’ll give it a good go, but this time I’m definitely having an epidural straight away. With Luna, I was still only 4cm dilated after being in labour for two days. After that I had an epidural, forceps, ventouse and an episiotomy. She just wouldn’t come out. I had the full works.
Did you feel traumatised afterwards?
Hugely. I felt incredibly traumatised by it for a really long time. Those scars stay with you. I cried and cried and cried. I just had to shut the bathroom door and have a howl because I was going through so much.
How long did it take you to work through that?
About six months. My mental health was very up and down. There were moments when I was completely elated and over the moon, and then I’d feel really low about it.
Did you ever feel you needed to see a doctor?
No, definitely not, because the highs were outweighing the lows. But the lows were still very much there. I think you’re very lucky if you give birth and don’t go through any of that. I just felt very overwhelmed.
Did you plan to have a small age gap?
We wanted to start trying in January [2018], but I fell pregnant last July instead, so it was probably a bit early, but we’re completely over the moon. Especially if you think about what my beautiful sister has gone through with her infertility and the fact I couldn’t freeze my eggs.
What’s the best thing you’ve learned about motherhood?
The love I feel for Luna is unconditional. It’s such a cliché, but she’s made me whole. I don’t have any of the insecurities I had before, and my confidence within myself has grown. If it was possible, it’s brought Dozza and me even closer together, too. It’s why I get up every single morning, it’s why I work as hard as I do. Everything is for her – and that’s such a beautiful clarity to have.
- Visit Zoe’s parenting blog at .
Photography: Lancton, Getty Images, Emily Sanders, Instagram/Zoe Hardman.
Styling: Tracey Lea Sayer.
Hair: Dino Pereira using Origins.
Make-up: Phoebe Taylor using Nars .
Zoe wears: dress, Boohoo; necklace, her own; shoes, Office.
Luna wears: T-shirt, River Island; jeans, River Island; trainers, JoJo Maman Bébé.