Inspirational mum-of-two who miscarried two babies and had to leave her job due to prenatal depression launches TWO successful theatre schools
BEING pregnant is meant to be one of the most special times in a woman’s life.
But for Kim Thursfield, 29, from Bromley, Kent, the experience was anything but rosy.
She was nominated for our Fabulous Mum of the Year competition by her best friend Sally Foster, 29, and is one of our incredible runner-ups. Here Kim shares her story…
I met my husband Matt, a sound engineer, in Madeira while working as a singer at a hotel. We’d been together for two years when he proposed, and we got married the year after, which was five years ago.
When I fell pregnant we were so happy and excited. At the time I was working in theatre marketing, but about four months into my pregnancy I began suffering with prenatal depression.
It had a massive impact on everything I was doing; it was a really horrible time. Most people say pregnancy’s amazing, but it was completely the opposite for me. I was consumed by worry and anxiety. I was so scared.
I found it so hard to get out of bed and wanted to just sit on the sofa all day. It really spoilt my pregnancy - I had all these ideas of how it should be and it was nothing like it. I had to be signed off work sick. I felt like everyone hated me and that I was failing at everything. Matt and I really struggled during that time.
I didn’t know it was prenatal depression, and the doctors said they couldn’t give me anything for it as I was halfway through my pregnancy, so they just left me to it really. It took a few months to feel completely normal again after giving birth. I went to the doctors and they put me on anti-depressants, and then I started to feel a lot better and gradually came off them.
My little girl Alana (now three) was a joy. It was amazing having this smiley, cuddly little person, but it was hard as I was the first one of my friendship group to have a baby. They were all still going out partying, so I felt like I missed out a bit and I lost a few friends because of it.
What is prenatal depression?
Around one in 10 pregnant women experiences depression during pregnancy (antenatal depression).
Antenatal/prenatal depression can vary from mild to severe and can affect women in different ways.
It can begin at any point during pregnancy and is characterised as having a higher than normal level of worry about the impending birth and parenthood.
Symptoms include lack of energy, feeling emotionally detached, tearfulness, chronic anxiety and feeling isolated and guilty.
Trust yourself – you are the best judge of whether your feelings are normal for you.
If you don’t feel right, or if you have some of the signs of depression and they last for more than two weeks, talk to your midwife or GP.
For help and support, call the Helpline on 0843 28 98 401 or email [email protected]
When I fell pregnant again, we were told I was expecting triplets. Matt nearly fell off the chair, and I cried because it was so overwhelming. The midwife said it was unusual as it had happened naturally. It took a while to sink in, but we excitedly started planning – we were going to move house, buy a new car, rethink work…
Then two months later I went for the next scan and was told the devastating news that I’d lost two of my babies. Matt was at work and I spoke to him on the phone and he cried, which he never, ever does. I think when you have a child already, and you know at a scan that they could have turned into little people, it’s even more upsetting.
It was a big shock because I thought, if anything, we might have just lost one, as one of the babies was a lot smaller. We’d told quite a few people as well, so it was really horrible having to explain what had happened.
Thankfully little Mila survived, but I suffered with smphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) while I was carrying her. I could barely walk and had to use a walking stick. She was head down the entire time and it put pressure on the ligaments in my pelvis, it was really painful.
Being a mum changed my whole mind-set on working. That’s when I decided to start my own business. I began teaching singing in schools, and then I came across , a children's performing arts school with branches across London and the South East.
I really liked the concept and I ended up buying the , which cost me £7,000. I opened it in September 2015 and I absolutely love it. It’s so much fun and it really does help not being in a full-time job and being able to spend time with my children.
It was challenging taking on a new business when Alana was so young, but I just had to make it work. I wasn’t prepared to pay childcare fees, or palm her off on someone else – I wanted to be with her.
I just bought my second school . It’s so weird, I have number two baby and number two school, but everything this time round is so much easier. I think because you’ve done it once, you know what you’re doing!
I’ve found it so much better being my own boss than working for a company. You’re making your own money and you’re doing it for yourself and your family. This year we’re going on holiday for the first time in so long - to Disneyland, Paris, in August for my 30th birthday.
I’m also keen to get back into singing and get my own theatre career back on track. I was so shocked to win this prize – it made my day when Sally told me.
Sally said: “Me and Kim have been best friends since our first day at college aged 16. Over the last 13 years I have watched with admiration as Kim became a mum to two beautiful girls.
“Kim has always been honest about her struggles during both pregnancies. Her mental and physical health suffered, but through sheer strength she got through her darkest days and now offers support to other mums in a similar position.
“After she lost two babies last year my heart absolutely broke for her, but she had to be strong for Alana. Now she runs two of her own theatre schools while being a full-time mum, taking care of the house, a dog and teaching singing.
“She is beautifully honest about her daily juggling act and never pretends everything is picture perfect, which is a breath of fresh air. I nominated Kim because when the time comes for me to be a mum I can only wish to have half the strength and determination she has shown over the last couple of years.”
Kim will receive one of our luxurious Champneys goody bags (worth £50) as a runner-up prize.
For more information about Kim's journey, visit .
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
Yesterday we told how fellow Fabulous Mum of the Year runner-up Moira Scott, who went without her own bedroom for 20 years for the sake of her kids, has dedicated her life to caring for her mother with dementia.
We also reported how brave Stacey Mustill, 38, who woke up to find her husband dead at Christmas, has raised £26,000 and set up a charity in his memory.
The winner of the competition will be revealed on Mother’s Day tomorrow.