This is the 7-step plan that means you’ll ALWAYS win an argument with your partner

ARGUMENTS are an inevitable fact of life, and although you may be convinced that you’re right, you have to accept that everyone has different opinions.

But, it turns out that there really are ways to win an argument – so how can you prepare?

Whether it’s about politics or what to have for supper, you probably have a few conflicts in your relationship.

 spoke to seven different experts to reveal how persuasive people construct their arguments.

Whatever you fight about, there are ways to watch your language and lay out your point.

Here’s how to beat those rows:

1. Recognise that the point of an argument is to understand the other side

According to marriage therapist Marissa Nelson, “People who argue successfully focus on how to solve the problem and tackle the issue, not beat the other person.

“Arguments should never be a character assassination, or bring someone’s integrity into question.”

So make sure you don’t get too personal in your argument, and carefully explain your points without attacking their character.

2. Ask questions to understand the other perspective

Jay Sullivan is the author of Simply Said: Communication Better at Work and Beyond, and explains how asking questions will help you see the other side, so that you can present your argument in the best way.

He said: “A persuasive arguer recognizes that the other person has their own needs and their own goals to accomplish.

“We all enter discussions from our own perspective and with our own assumptions.

“Asking questions about the other side gives us a better understanding of them. ”

3. Use direct language

Susan Pease Gadua is a couple therapist and co-author of The New I Do, Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels.

She explains how being unambiguous gets your point across clearly, so is vital in communicating well.

“Successful arguers tell the whole truth and use very direct language.

“Until each person can admit where they truly are, they will never get their needs met or resolve the fight.”

4. Avoid saying “but” or “however” once the person has shared their point

According to Jay, you should watch your language when arguing – and he isn’t talking about swearing.

“When you use ‘but’ and ‘however’, you’re communicating to the other person that you don’t really care about their position.

“To be more successful in your arguments, swap out ‘but’ or ‘however’ with ‘and.’ Why? ‘And’ sounds positive. It creates the sense of new opportunities.

“If you and I have polar opposite views, I can still sound open and conciliatory if I use ‘and’ instead of ‘but.'”

5. Monitor your tone of voice and body language

Marissa explains that it’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.

She says that a successful arguer “breathes and speaks slowly and with intention”.

“They monitor their body language, too. They get that they’re in a heightened emotional state and everyone needs their personal space and to be respected.”

6. Listen, don’t persuade

Jay says: “People who are successful at conflicts ask questions that begin with ‘why,’ ‘what’ and ‘how.’

“Questions that begin with those words force the other person to talk, and require you to listen, so that you learn the other person’s perspective.

“Understanding the other person is the key to turning ‘arguments’ into ‘discussions.’

“In a discussion, the goal is to resolve a conflict. In an argument, the goal is to win, and too often, that results in two losers.”

7. If you say something out of line, apologise

In a heated discussion, it’s easy to say something unkind or unfair, but Marissa says that you should always say sorry quickly after – and make sure it’s genuine.

She said: “In my experience, things often fall apart during an argument because people get triggered by not fighting fair, lack of accountability and empathy and the other side offering a poor or non-apology.

“People who have successful arguments know that ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’ could be interpreted as dismissive. Instead of issuing non-apologies, their statements are heartfelt and meaningful.

“Ultimately, they hold themselves accountable if they say something negative or react poorly.”

Arguing a little too often may be one thing – but what else indicates your relationship is in trouble? Here’s the one simple sign.

Plus, we’ve also explained “micro-cheating”, and how liking old Facebook photos and suggestive emojis could threaten relationships.

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