Our unlucky-in-love girl ditches Tinder – but now she’s got a better alternative
Tinderella has gone batty for online dating but can she really find love at the touch of a button?
THAT Lion King sex dream was my wake-up call.
Something is drastically wrong if Disney is my go-to at the moment.
I’m fantasising wildly about Jamie even though I don’t want to date him. And my ex, Will, is still sending his turbo-douche texts. Every. Day.
There’s just one thing for it. When the going gets tough, the tough get Tindering.
I had to go on the app for work (honest, guv) this week and it was the same mishmash of no-hopers and pervs who matched with me.
But what about Hinge? I’m not on this app but mates keep recommending it to me.
Described as “match.com for millennials” (urgh), Hinge matches you with your friends’ mates via Facebook. This dashes my cougar hopes but makes the experience feel less throwaway.
Even better, to reduce ghosting, the app will nudge your matches with a Your Turn if they don’t reply.
Ace! Why go psycho and double-message a guy when you can get Hinge to do it for you?
Each user builds a profile with not just pics, but also lolz gifs and answers to heartfelt or wacky questions. It gives you a fuller, more human picture of matches.
So instead of Boobs, 38, I’m an actual person with thoughts on the thing I miss most about being a kid and my best travel story.
After signing up, I get an email from Emma at Hinge with profile tips to “bring out the real me”.
She says: “Add a video. We recommend a #humblebrag. How about a daring cliff jump or that time you aced Adele at karaoke?”
The kind of painful showboater who would do this gets an immediate left-swipe from me but Em probably knows best.
I’m also meant to caption my photos and link to my Instagram.
Since my Insta is mostly just pics of bathrooms I covet, I decide to skip that one too.
But I dutifully answer my questions, shove in a few photos that look like me if you squint hard enough and I’m ready.
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
First up is Dave, who collects watches and is friends with one of my most boozy, manic FB mates.
Hmm, he gets a “like” anyway. I realise, I can like different bits of his profile, from individual pics to his answers to Hinge questions.
He sounds funny, confident and laid-back. I “like” a photo of him smiling in what looks like Barcelona and wait.
GOT a question, suggestion or dating advice for Tinders? Email [email protected].