Couple test whether DAILY morning sex is able to improve their relationship
Writer Franki Cookney, 34, puts research to the test that having sex with your partner when you wake up can improve your relationship
ACCORDING to a recent study, having sex with your partner when you wake up can improve your relationship.
Here, writer Franki Cookney, 34, sets her alarm and puts the theory to the test.
Since my partner Rob and I had our first child a year ago, we’re lucky to have sex at any time of the day – and definitely not more than a couple of times a month. In fact, with a 13 month old who wakes up any time between 5am and 6.30am, lazy mornings spent doing the dirty are a distant memory.
However, a cheeky morning session could, it seems, actually cure an ailing sex life as its “afterglow effect” improves productivity, while happy hormones oxytocin and dopamine are reported to boost the immune system, reduce stress, and leave you feeling loved-up all day long.*
Sexual wellbeing expert Alix Fox agrees. “Getting jiggy first thing can help put your mind in a positive, buoyant place that sets you up for a great day ahead,” she explains. “If you usually only get X-rated at night, being intimate at a different time can feel novel and exciting. It’s a no-cost way of revitalising your love life.”
So in an effort to bring back some of our pre-baby intimacy and boost our much-depleted energy levels, Rob, a 35-year-old journalist, and I agree to swap our bi-monthly evening romps for a daily serving of morning glory for the next two weeks.
WEEK ONE
Rather than just letting the baby wake us up, we set the alarm for 6am, and on the first day when it goes off I stumble to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth (I hate morning breath).
As I slip back under the covers naked, snuggling up against Rob’s warm skin reminds me exactly why I used to love sex in the AM. Mornings are usually a tag-team effort to get showered, dressed and feed the baby before we both start work, so it’s a real luxury to enjoy intimate time together.
Much to my surprise, we both manage to orgasm in under half an hour – I’d forgotten how much more sensitive my body is at that time of day. At breakfast, before Rob leaves for the office, I notice he’s more chatty than usual and he agrees that he feels more awake. Maybe I could get used to this!
By day four, however, I’m not so sure. When the alarm rings out, all I want to do is hit snooze. I nudge Rob and he lets out a tired groan, knowing what I’m after, and proceeds to give me a half-hearted smooch. But it all feels very lacklustre as we’re shattered from a night up with our son.
Come Friday evening, the thought of having to set an alarm on a weekend is too much, so we decide to cheat. Instead, the next day, we head back to bed at 10am while the baby has his mid-morning nap. It’s a lovely way to start the weekend and we even manage to squeeze in 10 minutes of lazing around in bed afterwards – something we haven’t done for ages.
Later that day, I notice that we’re flirting and chatting more than usual. Instead of barking at Rob to move out of my way at the kitchen counter, I fondly kiss his neck as I reach around him.
When I tease him about his dad dancing to the radio, he gives me a playful tap on the bum. The next morning, we really get into the swing of things and enjoy a bit of naked cuddling and kissing before getting it on.
only downside is that I still feel rushed. Usually I love going on top, but because we only have a certain amount of time before our little one wakes up, we’ve been confined to either missionary or doggy style.
WEEK TWO
The second week starts badly when our son wakes up far too early at 5.40am. Rob and I barely have time for a kiss before I stagger off, bleary-eyed, to calm him down.
Although getting it on every day is starting to feel like a chore, I can’t help being annoyed that we’ve missed our sesh.
After getting back on the challenge the following morning, I spend the day in great spirits. At first I thought my good mood was down to the placebo effect, but now I’m convinced it’s real.
When I bend down to pick a piece of toast off the floor and our son chooses that moment to smear yoghurt in my hair, I laugh it off instead of getting exasperated.
I work from home and juggling childcare isn’t easy, but instead of feeling burnt out and tired, I’m more positive, creative and super-productive.
As for Rob, we can barely keep our hands off each other when he’s back from work. However, I have noticed that we haven’t had sex in the evening since starting the experiment. I’m slightly disappointed but not surprised.
It seems that a morning and evening session is simply too much to ask. Towards the end of the experiment, the novelty of sex every morning is wearing thin.
After having one too many wines with a friend on day 13, I’m dreading the alarm going off at the crack of dawn for our (hungover) shenanigans. To make matters worse, Rob is exhausted and just wants to sleep. I manage to rouse him enough to go through the motions and we both finish satisfied, but it’s hardly our most exciting session.
VERDICT
On the first day after the challenge, we’re woken by our 6am “sex alarm”, which we’d forgotten to turn off – but snooze it without a second thought and fall back asleep within seconds.
Having sex in the morning is great and all, but as exhausted parents you don’t want to always do it every single day.
All the same, two weeks of morning loving has definitely given our relationship a boost.
We’ve hardly argued once and both feel positive and more energetic, plus with our early sessions still fresh in our minds during the day, we’re definitely more tactile and flirty. So much so that when we meet pals for a lunch date, they tease us that we’re looking perkier.
Getting intimate first thing has also made me feel more in touch with my body.
After having a baby, it’s so easy to roll out of bed in the mornings and chuck on the same jeans and T-shirt without thinking about how I look.
But stepping out of the shower after a morning session, I can’t help but feel more sexy and confident when I look in the mirror.
On the downside, time constraints have meant that our positions have been perfunctory and we’ve barely looked at the drawer of sex toys next to the bed that we used to delve into quite regularly.
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
That’s why, three days after the challenge, we take ourselves off to bed at 8pm for one of the steamiest romps we’ve had in weeks.
Maybe this was the result of being more relaxed and loved-up, but for us the evening is where the real fun lies.
Source: *MOMA
- Alix Fox is sexual wellbeing ambassador for Superdrug and ONE Condoms.