From torrid affairs to seeing 20 married men, readers tell us how their illicit relationships survive the festive period

CHRISTMAS can be the least romantic time of the year for “the bit on the side” in a love triangle. So how do lovers survive the festive period when they know married partners are spending special time with their “real” families?

Three illicit lovers tell Georgette Culley how they manage it.

Sheryl, 38

CARE worker Sheryl Pillai, 38, from Wandsworth, South London, has been having an affair with a married man for three months.

The mum of five hopes her lover, 42, will leave his wife in the New Year. She says:

“It’s lonely being a mistress at Christmas. Everywhere you look, people are getting into the festive spirit and swooning over romcoms on telly.

“Normally I love Christmas. This is my first year as a mistress and it’s a struggle. It’d be lovely to see Christmas carols together and enjoy the build-up but we can’t go out in public.

“We meet once a week in hotels. His wife doesn’t know. I didn’t plan to fall in love with “forbidden fruit” – it just happened. We met through mutual friends and it was love at first sight. I couldn’t help myself.

“It would be lovely to take him to my work Christmas party and introduce him as my boyfriend to friends and family, but I have to be realistic. Instead of getting one another presents, we are putting our money together to book a holiday and escape next month.

“It’s hard knowing they’ll spend the day together but I will see him on Boxing Day and make up for lost time. I have five kids to keep me entertained, so we’ll still have a nice day but it’s hard not being able to see him.

“He tells me he is going to leave his wife next year. That is my Christmas wish.

“My advice for other mistresses is to take it day by day and not get swept up in the romance of Christmas. It is just another day and you have to be strong.

“If you choose to get involved with a married man, then he’s going to be unavailable at special times of the year.”

Danny, 30

SALESMAN Danny Oakley, 30, of Southampton, is in an 18-month affair. He says:

“No one ever thinks about men when they think of The Bit on The Side but it’s hard for us too.

“My lover is a Muslim married mum and an ex colleague. So it’s extremely complicated for us both and can be very hard to see each other.

“We also have to be very careful as she has a lot to lose should we get caught.

“We started the affair when we were working together. At first, it was purely sexual and was meant to be nothing more than a one night thing.

“I think she gets off on the secrecy, it turns her on. Before I developed feelings I felt the same but now it’s getting harder for me.

“She is very wealthy and sometimes I feel like an escort, it’s a tricky position to be in.

“What’s more, I have only ever told one female friend. I have to be very careful as loose lips sink ships. She says she’ll leave her husband when her son goes to university, but that’s eight years away.

“I’d love to wake up to her on Christmas morning and spoil her with breakfast in bed and a stocking. But she’s hard to buy for. What do you buy someone who has everything?

“I’ll be spending Christmas with family, with my mum constantly asking me when I’m going to settle down. People might start to wonder if I’m gay soon as I never bring a woman home with me.

“I won’t be getting any cheeky snogs under the mistletoe at my work Christmas party either, I’ll stay loyal to my lover despite her being with her husband.

“I’ll be waiting to hear from her at some point on Christmas Day. I’ll have to make do with a quick text when all I want to do is spend the day with her like normal couples. She’s the only present I want to unwrap under my Christmas tree.”

Hayley, 32

FITNESS instructor Hayley Leeanna, 32, from Peterborough has TWENTY married lovers. She says:

“I love being a mistress at Christmas. Think about of the presents you’re going to get. I sent my Xmas list to all my lovers and asked for designer jewellery, clothes, holidays and botox.

“Some people may judge me and think I’m ruining relationships but I’m making them stronger. Christmas is a stressful time but my lovers will be happier at the family dinner table because they secretly see me.

“I am spending Christmas Day with my family but will go on about 20 dates over the festive period.

“We’ll go to jazz bars, fancy restaurants and swanky hotels. I like being The Other Woman because I am in control. I get all the best parts of a relationship without the boring bits. One time a wife called me up after she found out about our affair.

“We met and I explained why her husband had strayed.

“At first she was devastated but when I explained it was just sex and nothing more she understood. Now, they’re stronger than ever and she thanked me for saving their marriage.

“Being a mistress at Christmas is what you make of it and I choose to make it fun.”

Hayley meets her lovers on married-dating site .

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