Exclusive
REALITY CHECK
Dani Dyer on cooling her relationship with Jack Fincham and the struggles of fame
AFTER emerging from their Majorcan haven all bronzed, beautiful and loved-up, one by one each of last year’s Love Island cohort have consciously uncoupled amid varying degrees of acrimony.
As the tans faded, so, it appeared, did the chemistry.
13
- Top, Miss Pap - buy now
- Shorts, £50, Levi's -
Except, that is, for winners Dani Dyer and Jack Fincham, who have just about managed to cling on. But even they haven’t been immune to relationship dramz and are now living apart after having initially moved in together.
The “honeymoon period”, sighs Dani, is most definitely over.
“I think on Love Island everything is speeded up. So within two weeks you’re talking about your feelings and telling someone you like them, whereas it takes months to get there in the real world.
“In the villa it’s beautiful, and in the moment everything is so perfect...”
13
- Jacket, £200, Levi's -
- T-shirt, Levi's -
- Shorts, £50, Levi's -
And real life isn’t like that?
“Exactly. Things are more difficult in the real world. That’s where you get to know the person and you learn their faults.
On Love Island everything is done for you so you don’t have to think about anything. Then suddenly you come home and you’re arguing and bickering and silly things become an issue. We’d both come out of a bubble and were trying to adapt to this new world.”
13
“Jack and I have sadly decided to part ways,” she wrote, after coming to “the realisation that it’s not meant to be long-term.”
However, the post was hastily deleted (and Jack, 26, never commented) and within days they were seemingly back together. The whole debacle led to inevitable accusations that the relationship was fake and they’d only backtracked in order to save a series of commercial deals, which depended on them being a couple.
“I’d love to see what money I’m apparently getting out of these commercial deals,” says Dani, a little cross at the suggestion. “Wow. I’d love to have that money!
“I have never been that sort of person. I would never get back with someone for ‘deals’ that we never had anyway.”
13
- Jacket, Levi's -
- T-shirt, Lee - buy now
- Shorts, New Look -
- Trainers, £32, River Island -
She sounds adamant, but there was the joint NTAs reporting gig they’d just landed, plus reality show Jack And Dani: Life After Love Island, which was already in the can but yet to air. Producers were apparently tearing their hair out that the “split” made the footage out of date and that no one would watch if the stars of the show were no longer together.
“Yes, we did a show together, but we didn’t have to stay together if we didn’t want to,” refutes Dani. “We were never contracted to do anything like that – that is not a ‘thing’, and if it is it should be illegal.
“People love a conspiracy theory, don’t they? Instead of being like: ‘Fair enough, they’ve got back together,’ they’d prefer to see it another way.
“I would never get back with someone because of that. That would be pathetic. We got back together because we wanted to.”
13
- T-shirt, £4.80, Nasty Gal -
Then came Jack’s confession last month that he’d taken cocaine during a wild night out, which was said to have made Dani reconsider the relationship.
That particular incident, Dani’s team make clear, is not up for discussion today. All she’ll say on the matter is that she was “disappointed, as it’s not something I agree with at all. He made a mistake and it’s in the past now.”
What she does say, however, is that they will be conducting their relationship differently from here on in.
So that means keeping things on the down-low and categorically no more reality TV as a couple.
13
“We’re now trying to keep things personal, because that’s how things last. We’re definitely not doing another show.
We’d prefer to enjoy each other privately, rather than parading it constantly.
“We were still learning about each other – we still are. We moved in, we did a show together and it was constant. It didn’t really give us time to bond on our own. I didn’t like it when we were arguing – with relationships, you want to bring out the best in each other and we were bringing out the worst. So you just end up being miserable around each other.”
When the lease came up on the flat they’d been renting together in Wapping, east London, they decided it was a good opportunity to put the brakes on and get their own places. Dani is now back on Essex turf and closer to parents Danny and Jo, while Jack returned to his old stomping ground in south London.
13
“Jack didn’t want to live in Essex and I didn’t want to live in south London so we thought we’d both get our own places and live between them.
“We’re building [the relationship] back up slowly. We’d both moved out of our areas and to Wapping together, where we had none of our home comforts.
“It’s nice to have my own company sometimes. I can watch what I want – when Jack’s there, he puts all these bird programmes on. When we buy a house, then we can decide where to live, but for the time being we’ve got to grow.”
Was it a case of too much, too soon?
13
“Yeah. It was really mad. My nan was like: ‘You’ve only been together six months!’ That’s not normal for a relationship.”
When we last met Dani she was fresh out of the villa and caught up in the exciting whirlwind of the Love Island aftermath. The attention and adulation were still a novelty, she was riding a wave and thought she had everything she’d ever wanted. She went into the villa as Danny Dyer’s daughter, but came out a celebrity in her own right.
Eight months on, she’s still the same instantly likeable, cute-as-a-button girl the nation fell in love with, but there’s a slight cynicism, a weariness that perhaps wasn’t there before. Fame, it turns out, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
“I miss Love Island so much, it was a bubble, so lovely in there. It’s been brilliant and I’m getting used to it every day, but it’s also just weird. I miss being out and not having to worry if someone’s listening to my conversation or filming me on their phone. It’s creepy.”
13
Her new book, What Would Dani Do? – a mix of autobiography and life advice – details for the first time her struggle with anxiety, which began in her teens and has flared up again since returning from Majorca.
“When it happens I just feel really sick and like I’m not there. I don’t feel like myself. I’m quite a happy, bubbly person. I like to have a chat and a laugh. But I start feeling sick and shaky and it’s normally when I’m outside of my comfort zone. It got worse when I got out of Love Island because I had no routine.
“You have to persevere. When I start feeling funny I just spend time with people who know me. I need my comfort blanket people and they keep me safe.”
When a bout of anxiety forced Dani to cancel a personal appearance in October she responded angrily on social media to some of the backlash, although her comments were later deleted.
13
“I try not to bite with it,” she says. “My dad always says: ‘What are you biting for, what are you doing? You’re feeding it!’
“But sometimes I just see red and I know it’s not cool, it’s not classy. It’s just that people talk nonsense sometimes and it irritates me, especially in the morning!
“I know I went on the show and gave my life up, but I don’t feel like I have to justify everything I do. People think they can judge everything I’m doing, but if I was that bad a person I wouldn’t have done that well on Love Island would I?
“I’ve got to look after myself. I don’t want people to meet me and be like: ‘She’s really miserable’.
13
Everyone has their down days, but when you have a normal nine-to-five job you can be like: ‘Listen, I’m in a bad mood today, I don’t want to talk.’ Whereas I’m meeting new people every day and I can’t give off that impression.
“It’s hard when you have to cancel things, but when you’re not feeling yourself, there’s not much you can do.”
Dani’s mental health issues really began when she became caught up in an abusive relationship from the age of 16. In the book, she writes about her ex-boyfriend’s jealousy, his controlling behaviour, the bullying and belittling that drove her to think about self-harming and at one point caused her mum to worry she was suicidal. Her weight plummeted and she quit her acting dream, ending up on medication for a short period and undergoing therapy on the NHS.
“I was so sad. As a young girl I was just going through so many different emotions, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was crying constantly and I lost so much weight.
13
“It really did affect my mum – no mother wants to see their daughter go through such a hard time. I never thought about that [suicide]. Never, never. But my mum thought the worst, because I was just so down. I thought I’d never be able to laugh again.
“My mum told me to go for therapy, because sometimes you need that blank canvas to understand how you’re feeling. I think it’s good for anyone to talk to someone and not be alone with it.”
Although she was sceptical about having therapy at first, Dani found that it helped to pull her back from the brink.
“The woman I saw was amazing. I called her Jesus. She had a bit of attitude and I thought: ‘I like you!’ The little things I thought were so big started to mean less, and ending the relationship made me think: ‘Just do you, Dani.’ I came out stronger.”
Love Island’s Dani Dyer’s mum helps move her out of flat after Jack Fincham’s cocaine binge
The relationship ended after three years when Dani was 19, and she hopes that by speaking out she can help other young women who feel trapped in similar situations.
“There’s no hate now, but I will never let myself be treated like that again. I will never be controlled or be walked over. When you’re younger, you’re vulnerable.
“The thing is, I am quite a good girlfriend anyway. If you want your dinner cooked, you can have your dinner cooked. I’ll even marinade your chicken! But I’ll also do whatever I wanna do when I wanna do it.”
She plans to get back into acting having appeared in a series of little-known British films as a teen and realising that it’s still her greatest passion.
13
“I love it. I’ve had a few auditions since I’ve come out [of the villa] and I want to keep going with it.”
Will the Love Island background count against her?
“I think I just have to prove myself a bit more. I know the acting world is brutal, especially theatre, but I’d like to be known as more of an actress in five years. That’s what I want to be doing. I’d love to be in a serious drama and make people go ‘wow’.
“I know people are going to love you or hate you, it’s like Marmite. I don’t like Marmite, personally. But I do want to prove people wrong and there’s no point going into an audition room thinking people might not like me.”
She’s also got a clothing collection with Inthestyle.com and has just returned from climbing Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief. But given the ups and downs of the last few months, talk of marriage is premature.
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
“We’re too young,” she says. “Jack’s a good boy, and he’s the sort of boy I’ll always end up with. We make each other laugh, he’s very funny and he’s very good-looking. I can see beneath that anyway, so I don’t care if he wakes up looking however he wants. If he wants to go on a diet, I don’t mind, babe. I don’t care what size you are, what you do to your hair, if you want to have a beard or whatever.”
Is he still The One?
“I hope he’s The One,” she says, hedging her bets a bit more than in the past. “I think he is.
“He brings out the best in me.”
- What Would Dani Do? by Dani Dyer is out April 4 (£16.99, Ebury Press).
Dani Dyer cuddles Jack Fincham in paradise as he tags along to watch her shoot bikinis for new fashion range in Thailand
THE LAST...
- Time you cried? Re-watching Our Girl the other night.
- Time you lost your temper? Friday. Next delivered the wrong parcel – I ordered towels and the towels didn’t turn up!
- Movie you watched? A Prayer Before Dawn.
- DM you sent? To Laura [Anderson]. She’s gifting some swimwear boxes and asked what size bikini I wear.
- Time you were drunk? In Dubai with the girls in January.
- Book you read? Lily Allen’s My Thoughts Exactly.
Hair: Dino Pereira using Diva Pro Styling
Make-up: Aimee Adams using Too Faced
Styling: Nana Acheampong
Topics