I feel guilty I beat cervical cancer and Jade Goody died – we were diagnosed at the same time
Nicola Craffey, 38, spoke on the 10th anniversary of Jade's death
TEN years ago today, tragic TV star Jade Goody lost her life to cervical cancer.
She was mourned by millions but her death hit superfan Nicola Craffey particularly hard - because she had cervical cancer, too.
Not only that, but the pair were diagnosed at the same age and the same time.
Yet lucky Nicola, 38, survived her ordeal and celebrated a decade in remission last year.
Here she shares her story of recovery - and how Jade fills her thoughts even now.
The holistic therapist, from Oldham, says: “I genuinely loved Jade. So I was gutted when it came out she had cancer just a few weeks after me. Seeing her go through the same hell as me broke my heart. To be honest, I struggled to cope."
She continued: “I had no idea if my own cancer would come back so I asked my family to keep all stories about Jade’s illness away from me.
“Then when she died, I almost felt guilty. I was still having regular check-ups but I was alive. You just think: ‘Why can’t she have made it too?’”
Alarm bells first rang for Nicola, then 27, after an abnormal smear in early 2008.
She had her first test at 21 after her older sister had an abnormal smear - but missed the test three years later due to moving house.
This time, with no symptoms to speak of, Nicola was awaiting the results of a biopsy when she began to bleed heavily in the bath.
Terrified, she was rushed to hospital where tests showed a tumour had caused the blood loss.
Doctors told her she had cervical cancer - but Nicola couldn’t take in the news.
She recalls: “The first thing I thought was ‘Oh God, this is it’. I asked the consultant if I was going to die and he said he couldn’t make any promises. Mum just started sobbing.
She adds: “I don’t remember being afraid or worried for myself. Instead, I was petrified of leaving my parents so young - I just knew they wouldn’t be able to deal with it.”
Determined to be positive to keep her family’s spirits up, Nicola tackled her treatment head-on.
She had a radical hysterectomy and came round making jokes just four hours later.
She says: “I know it sounds weird but I just knew laughter was the best medicine to get me through the hell.”
Surgery to remove her lymph nodes plus rounds of chemo and radiotherapy followed.
Nicola says this was by far the worst part of her treatment. “Radio and chemo were just awful. I lost all my body hair and much of the hair on one side of my head.”
But there was good news. The haemorrhage, brought on by her biopsy, meant Nicola had been diagnosed relatively early at Stage One and she was given the all-clear later that year.
“I was just overjoyed,” she says. “When you’ve come nose to nose with death, you think it’s all over. But I’d been given this incredible second chance.”
“My surgeon even said to me: ‘If you’d come to me just six months later, this story would have been different.’”
Nicola was now keen to make every second count.
But ongoing treatment at the Christie Hospital in Wilmslow hit her hard.
Even worse, several men her age rejected her after a single date as they wanted kids.
Luckily, Richard Wild, 47, was waiting in the wings. The couple met in 2009 and were neighbours for years before falling for one another.
“Richard has been a godsend,” she says. “He just cracks me up. Whenever I’m down or I’m worried about a hospital appointment he makes me laugh.
“People say our wedding was the most joyful they’ve been to - we danced down the aisle to Pharrell’s Happy and there were belly laughs at both our speeches.
“Above all things, we’re best mates. And I know that he adores me.”
Get social!
You can help us spread the message by joining in on social.
We're asking women to share a photo with a pair of knickers and the hashtag #CheersForSmears tagging the women they love in their life, to remind them to get tested on time.
Cervical screenings save 5,000 lives every year - but let's make that number higher!
Please make sure to also tag @fabulousmag and the charity Jo's Trust (Twitter: @jotrust, Insta/FB: @joscervicalcancertrust)
The pair enjoyed a dream honeymoon in Sorrento, Italy, and now share custody of Richard’s son, Dan, 12, from a previous relationship.
Nicola’s recovery triumph has not come without heartbreak though.
She was left “devastated” that she’d not be able to have kids of her own.
“I went through hell. It’s been years of depression - and even resentment that Richard has a child with another woman.
“I know Richard wanted more kids but he’s never said a word to make me feel bad. He knows he’s blessed to be a dad to Dan and only feels sadness for my sake.
“My little sister Rachel, 34, and I always said we’d have babies at the same time.
“So when she became pregnant it opened up a lot of grief for me. But then Sienna, now three, was born and I just fell madly in love with her.
“She healed a part of me I thought would be broken forever.”
Nicola knows how lucky she is to have Dan in her life, too.
She explains: “I’m Nicola, not his mum. But we’re still a family and we get on so well - there is so much laughter when Dan’s there.”
Nicola calls her two pet dogs her “babies” for now but has not ruled out adoption in the future.
For now she is devoted to her boys and her part-time job as a Reiki healer and aromatherapist, where she offers free sessions to women with cancer.
How we can make a difference
In many surgeries, smear tests are only available at certain times or days, making it difficult for some women to book an appointment.
That’s why #CheersForSmears is calling on GPs to offer more flexible screening times and make testing available outside of office hours and at weekends.
We also want employers to play their part in helping to ensure that their female employees can attend potentially life-saving cervical screenings if they are unable to get an appointment outside of working hours.
Help get your employer involved by emailing [email protected].
Nicola has also battled a series of related health woes since her cancer treatment.
She has her legs drained of fluid every six weeks because she now suffers from a lymph disorder and sees a gastroenterologist because the chemo and abdominal surgery weakened her stomach.
On top of that, she has to have cameras in her bladder and bowel once a year to check on scar tissue.
And her early menopause symptoms have left her with a chronically low libido.
Many women would let this long list of painful complaints crush them. But miraculously Nicola remains buoyant… most of the time.
She explains: “I do get times when I slump. I watched my grandma die last year and it knocked me sideways.
“My lymphedema gets me down too so I have a cry every now and then.
“But then I’ll think: What am I doing? I’m not wasting my precious days feeling like s***!"
“I’m just so grateful to be alive. And knowing how lucky I am is like a drug. It’s the little magic wand that keeps me going.”
Nicola’s big mission now is to get women to go for their smear tests.
Initially, after Jade’s death there was a huge upsurge in women getting checked.
We launched our Jade’s Legacy campaign in February 2009 to get the smear age reduced to 20.
Nearly 180,000 people signed our petition but sadly the efforts of our readers were rejected by health chiefs.
And Britain is now at a 21-year low of attendance, according to NHS stats.
Worryingly, over one in four women fail to go for their smear test each year.
Fabulous' #CheersForSmears campaign in conjunction with Jo's Trust who revealed young women are skipping cervical smear tests because they are too embarrassed to show their privates.
So what would Nicola say to those still scared or embarrassed to get theirs done?
“Oh my God, just go! Please. Surviving cervical cancer is all about catching it early.
“Women who go for smears get diagnosed sooner and often survive while those that don’t, don’t. It’s as simple as that. My smear test saved me. Two minutes of slight discomfort has gifted me years of a brilliant life I nearly never had. Years poor Jade tragically never got to see.”
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