As Gwyneth upsets Apple by posting holiday selfies we look at the rules of ‘sharenting’ and meet mums and daughters with opposite opinions
It seems even the rich and famous have fallen victim to over-sharing and upsetting their teenage kids
GWYNETH PALTROW is in hot water with daughter Apple for posting family selfies online without permission.
The Oscar winner, 46, shared a snap on Instagram last week of the pair together on a ski-lift.
But miffed Apple, 14, whose dad is Coldplay singer Chris Martin, commented: “Mom, we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent.”
Gwyneth replied: “You can’t even see your face.”
It seems even the rich and famous have fallen victim to over-sharing and upsetting their teenage kids.
BELLA BATTLE speaks to two mums and their daughters, who have very different opinions on the rules of sharenting.
Hates it
SINGLE Lisa Nash, 40, is a personal trainer from East London. Her only child Tanai, 15, HATES her mum posting about her on social media. Lisa says:
Sometimes Tanai is OK with a picture of us together, but if I don’t get ‘the shot’ first time she gets fed up and refuses to pose.
I love to post photos of her on her own too on my social media, and I often caption them with ‘my beautiful baby’ or ‘my world’ because she is.
I’ve got friends who live all over the world and it’s often the only way to update them on our lives.
But I don’t put her name or tag our location very often, I don’t like giving that kind of information out.
There have been times Tanai has kicked off about my Instagram posts, she once commented ‘Take this down NOW’ about a cute throwback photo I put up of her dressed up as Audrey Hepburn when she was about ten.
But she’s a teenager so I get it. She doesn’t want her mum posting unflattering pics of her as a kid.
Sometimes she worries what her friends will think about selfies with me. It’s a shame that Tanai doesn’t want me to post pics of her.
I’ve been sharing lovely photos of her like any proud mum since she was a baby – something I’ve always felt really positive and proud about. So it’s sad that it’s seen as something negative now. I try not to get offended.
I don’t use filters on photos and I’d NEVER photoshop or filter Tanai. She’s gorgeous just as she is and I’d hate to make her feel self-conscious about photos.
It doesn’t stop her posting photos or videos of me all the time, though — often when I look my worst.
I went into her room first thing the other morning, moaning at her to get out of bed and she posted a video of it on Snapchat.
I didn’t see it as I’m not on Snapchat but her friends told me about it.
I don’t really mind, but it’s double standards, though.
I used to monitor her phone but she’d never let me do that now — I think she’d rather not have a phone at all than let me see it.
At the end of the day, I think she’s beautiful and I’m proud of her, so every now and then I like to put a picture up to show her off. Is that so wrong?
TANAI SAYS: “My mum posts photos of me on Instagram all the time and it drives me crazy.
“Lots of my friends follow her so it’s beyond embarrassing - they always take the mick.
“I’ve forbidden her to put them up loads of times but she just ignores me. She says, ‘Oh Tanai, why can’t you just let me be proud of you?’
“Even worse, with photos of the both of us, she picks the ones she looks good in. I’ll have the worst skin or hair but she’s blind to it.
“I had my eyes shut in one the other day but she looked amazing so she posted it.
“If I complain - which I do, all the time - she’ll just say that I should let her take more photos if I want to make sure each post is flattering.
“She’ll complain if I post a video of her she doesn’t like, but I just always say, ‘Do you honestly think my 15-year-old friends are going to care what you look like, Mum?’
“On the plus side, she’s very savvy about social media use. She’s always warning me that stuff on the internet stays there forever and I do trust her.
“I just wished she’d consider my feelings a little more.”
Loves it
PAGEANT star Leah Wright, 46, is a single mum from Glasgow, Scotland. She lives with daughter Lauren, 14, and 11-year-old Emily. The childminder is obsessed with taking “madelfies” (mother and daughter selfies) – and Lauren LOVES it. Leah says:
Lauren may be my daughter but she’s also my best friend. We race to see who can post our selfies first - although she usually wins.
Having a daughter in your shots is the perfect accessory, and she feels the same about me.
I’ve never had to ask if she was upset about my posts because she always comments nice things on them and tags me in the photos of us that she shares.
I am shockingly bad with my phone camera, she’s started teaching me how to angle it so we are both in shot and in good light.
We try out dozens of poses together and we even argue about which filter to use.
She’s taught me how to pout, smile and get the perfect pose. And, in return, I help her with her make-up and hair.
Filters are available on so many social media platforms, but my children appreciate the difference between natural and filtered images, so as long as they are aware I don’t see the problem.
Lauren loves horse riding and I’ve become her unofficial photographer at the stables. And she’s the same when I take part in beauty pageants.
She loves the fact I am a glam mum. Her friends all see me as a friend and when I get home they will be in my room using my make-up and taking selfies.
“I love it — and I always get included in the group shot. I think people who feel they need permission from their child to post their image are overthinking the issue.
To me it’s a world gone mad. I am proud of my daughter and chuffed we can show the world how close we are.
Many of my friends are jealous of how cool my girls are about joint selfies and ask me what the secret is.
I say be open with your kids and always carry a good selfie light – you never know when you will need it.
LAUREN SAYS: “I love taking selfies with Mum – they are more like shots with a friend than obvious mother-and-daughter poses.
“She is proud of us and proud of what she has achieved raising us on her own.
“She also knows what selfies I prefer and I have taught her what filters to use and how to crop the images.
“I love showing her new poses that become popular and she sometimes works them into her pageant catwalk looks.
“She is a glam mum. My pals think she is fab and they love that she poses so well with me. I love it when people say we’re like sisters, not mum and daughter
“I record her pageant social media pictures and she treats me like an adult. We’re a social media team.
“She gets the poses I like and the right lighting requirements.
most read in fabulous
“She is my go-to when my battery dies or I need a charger or extra make-up, and she wants to learn more about social media.
“I have access to her phone to delete any pictures, which don’t meet my standard, and I like commenting on her pictures.
“I am proud of the relationship I have with my mum and trust her not to post anything I wouldn’t like.
“She isn’t dorky and my friends thinks she’s the best mum going - what could be better?”