I’m a size 8 bodybuilder and my husband’s a 5XL couch potato but if people stare I’ll give them something to worry about
THEY say opposites attract – but does marital bliss really exist when one half is madly in love with working out? A warring couple from North Yorkshire made headlines last month for divorcing after she said his obsession with bodybuilding drove her mad – and she was prosecuted for “controlling behaviour”.
What is it really like to be with someone hooked on the gym? JENNY FRANCIS meets three couples who have very different ideas about how to keep their relationships fit and healthy.
Campbell: Size XXXXXL and Sam: Size 8
MUM-of-four Samantha Brander, 33, has been a gym obsessive for a year. She lost 5st, became a size 8 body-builder and now trains twice a day and enters competitions. Samantha, of Stirling, is married to Campbell, 34, a primary school teacher who is a size XXXXXL. She says:
"In 2017 I worked in a bakery, weighed 13st and had never set foot in a gym. But I reached a point when I knew I needed to change. In March 2018 I hired a personal trainer. Within a month I was going to the gym seven days a week.
I had met Campbell at school and I wasn’t overweight back then. But Campbell has always been large. He’s a wonderful person, his size never bothered me. We began dating when we both worked at Burger King.
We have Owen, 11, Calvin, nine, Lexi, seven and Poppy, four, and used to enjoy nights in with takeaways. Now Campbell’s lucky if I sit down for ten minutes. He has taken on extra responsibility with the kids, ensures the fridge has my special dietary needs and knows I get moody from sore muscles.
I’ve made huge lifestyle changes but he struggles with having time to get fit. I’m so tired, so go to bed before him. I don’t mind that he doesn’t join me in the gym but I worry about his health. I’d never force him, but have suggested he tries my personal trainer. He’s agreed.
I feel so great having lost weight but sometimes feel bad he hasn’t been able to. No one stares at us in the street and my friends never make comments. If they did, I’d give them something to stare at. It shouldn’t matter we look 7 different if we love each other.
Campbell says: “When she started working out it was a big change but I loved that she had a new hobby. I’ve always been much bigger than her, so it’s just been the way we are as a couple. I struggle to eat healthily as I work long hours and put a lot into my job as a teacher.
“I think because I’ve always been big, I’ve never got along with sport or exercise. I don’t have much time to cook healthy meals or go to the gym. I play computer games to relax.
“People see us as little and large but we work because we love each other. We never get nasty comments, not that I’ve ever heard. Seeing her on stage competing makes me so proud, as it’s so different to my world.”
Richard: Size XL and Jacqui: Size 18
TRAIN technician Richard Birchmore spends four hours a day in the gym. The 46-year-old size XL, of Braintree, Essex, competes in strongman contests and eats 6,000 calories a day. His partner Jacqui Maizels, 53, a recruitment consultant, is a size 16. She says:
"I work full-time and have two older children from a previous relationship. We met on Tinder three years ago. I could tell he was fit but had no idea about the extent of it. My ex-husband wasn’t a gym-goer, so it was all new to me.
I don’t exercise. The only thing I do at weekends is go for a walk. Sometimes I do feel like I’m single as he’s never at home. He works ten-hour shifts and goes straight to the gym. Most days he gets home at 10pm, so I have dinner by myself.
When we first started living together I had to get used to having little room in the fridge, as it’s filled with chicken, veg and eggs. My favourite weekend activity used to be getting a takeaway and eating it on the couch, but that’s banned when Richard is home.
He has an “approved foods” list and cake isn’t on it. He drops his sweaty workout kit everywhere, which means I’m always picking up after him. When we are together he hands me the muscle rub. His constant training means his sex drive is low.
He often gets moody and snappy but I’ve learnt to leave him to it. My friends think it’s funny that I’m dating a guy so keen on the gym. They squeeze his muscles, which is a bit weird. I love his body. Underneath his hard exterior he’s a softie."
Richard says: “I’m addicted to working out. I spent 22 years in the Navy and when I left I needed something to keep me fit, so I started power lifting.
“Three-hour workouts are normal for me. In one competition I pulled a 12-tonne double-decker bus. I eat six times a day. Two chicken-based meals, one fish-based, one steak and the others a mixture. Sometimes I go on a water diet. It’s perfect Jacqui’s not into exercise. It would never work if we were both so busy and strict.
"When she bakes I can only look on with envy. She puts up with my diet and grumpiness and doesn’t moan when I fall asleep while she’s trying to tell me about her day. I love her body and how chilled she is. She’s perfect.”
Manny: Size M and Megan: Size 22
PLUS-size pageant contestant Megan Goldberger, 21, only dates men with muscles. The size-22 retail worker from Cardiff has been with nightclub DJ Manny Karmengele, 23, for seven months. She says:
"I always go for muscly, fit guys who take care of themselves. When we connected on Instagram I fancied him instantly as he was a bodybuilder. A guy with big muscles can protect me and make me feel safe – that’s the turn-on. It comes at a cost though, as Manny’s lifestyle is extreme.
As a DJ he sometimes doesn’t finish work until 6am, but instead of coming to bed for a snuggle he goes for a run. After a run he goes to the gym for at least an hour. I text him in the day because that’s my one window of opportunity to get a response before he heads back to the gym.
We don’t see each other half as much as I’d like. I have to book date nights with him two weeks in advance, and even when I do, he’s always super-tired, which means we don’t often have sex.
I have always eaten what I want and don’t enjoy exercise at all. I used to worry about my figure but I’ve learnt to love my body and don’t intend spending hours in the gym to change it.
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I love eating out but it can be tricky, as Manny is obsessed with what he eats. I’m so proud of how committed he is to attaining the perfect body. People find our relationship strange as we are so different. Some people definitely stare at us but dating him makes me feel even more sexy."
Manny says: “I have always been into fitness, but over the past few years I’ve stepped it up. The gyms I go to are open 24 hours so I can fit my training around work. Bodybuilding is my major priority and I have to date a girl who understands that.
“I give Megan my schedule in advance and she’s happy to fit in around me. If I dated girls obsessed with the gym like me, we’d never see each other. Her curves are sexy and I love how carefree she is.”
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