Bittersweet like Paul Hollywood or a total BFF like Gwyneth Paltrow, which one of the six types of ex are you?
BAKE Off judge Paul Hollywood’s break-up has turned increasingly bitter.
The 53-year-old’s split from Summer Monteys-Fullam – 29 years his junior – after things turned sour.
So are you better at handling a break-up? Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr outlines the six different types of ex, from best friends to toxic, and offers advice on how to cope better.
Bittersweet
FUMING Paul Hollywood launched a four-letter tirade at Summer Monteys-Fullam after they split.
They have also rowed about dividing up gifts and pets bought during their relationship and made thinly veiled jibes on social media.
Pam says: “It’s easy to slip into bitterness when you’re hurt and angry. Enlist a ‘crisis buddy’ who will stop you when you’re tempted to fire off a social media post that slams your ex.
“Stop following your ex on social media so you can’t see their posts that might upset you. Showing bitterness suggests you’re passionate people who get addicted to the drama. Take up a new challenge. This will help you move on.”
BFF
IT was perhaps the most amicable break-up ever, when actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin “consciously uncoupled” five years ago.
And even now you will find them holidaying together with Gwyn’s husband Brad Falchuk and Chris’s girlfriend Dakota Johnson in tow.
Pam says: “The biggest risk you face is that one of you won’t be honest about difficult feelings when the other finds someone new. Don’t rush things.
“Someone new may have mixed feelings about your ex still being in your life, make it clear that you don’t have any desire to get back with them. Keep talking about their feelings, don’t sweep uncomfortable chats under the carpet.”
Rollercoaster
REALITY TV stars Gemma Collins and James ‘Arg’ Argent are currently together, but have split and got back together multiple times – and occasionally things have turned nasty on social media.
Pam says: “At least one of you is into the drama and the other has got roped into it. Once a relationship starts being an on-again-off-again type of thing, it’s hard to jump off. Each time things seem to go bad again you jump off.
"Then you miss them and hop back on. This means you never sort out your problems. Have a proper break, agree the ground rules and give each other space. If it is meant to be, you will both decide you’re ready to work out your differences.”
Toxic
THE split between Ant McPartlin and make-up artist Lisa Armstrong became toxic. Despite divorcing in October, the pair are reportedly still dividing the finances and Lisa has refused to let him into the marital home.
Pam says: “Often, such intense anger comes when you didn’t expect a break-up. Take one day at a time and rely on friends and family on bad days. Give yourself 15 minutes of anger time a day when you switch off your tech and concentrate solely on your ex.
"You’ll get bored with such focused time spent on them and want to spend more time focusing on yourself. If you’re the one who did the breaking up, don’t underestimate how hurt and angry your ex feels.”
Rekindled
THEY were Hollywood’s golden couple, until Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston divorced in 2005.
Fast forward 14 years – and two more failed marriages between them – and Brad was a guest at Jen’s 50th birthday party in February, showing they have rekindled a friendship.
Pam says: “Bridges have been burned, but everyone grows up. Work out whether you really do just want to be friends – or something more. Remind yourself of how much you’ve both changed since you two were together.
"If you do find things hotting up between you don’t quiz them about the lovers they’ve had since you two split. Time doesn’t work miracles on whatever originally broke you up.”
Third wheel
BRADLEY COOPER’s sensual Oscars performance with A Star Is Born co-star Lady Gaga in front of then-girlfriend, model Irina Shayk, caused quite a stir.
His close relationship with his mum is also rumoured to have played a part in their split as Irina felt she was the third wheel in her own relationship.
Pam says: “When a partner lets a third person take a prominent part of your relationship, it often ends in tears.
“You may feel resentment to that third party for making your relationship more difficult. Put the other person to one side in discussions with your ex unless they’re directly involved in your break-up – it was down to your ex not setting boundaries with them.”
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