SEX FILES
The 10 signs you’re becoming a ‘porn widow’ – and how to get your addict partner help
The NHS is seeing a rise in cases of younger men addicted to porn who suffer from erectile dysfunction
IT'S likely you know someone addicted to porn - it might even be the person you're in a relationship with.
Online searches for “porn addiction” are surging, overtaking those for alcohol addiction by nearly two and a half times.
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“We think this is a true reflection [of addiction]," Martin Preston, founder of , the UK’s only purpose-built addiction rehab clinic, previously told The Sun.
"One would imagine the information that they’re seeking is because they recognise the consequences of their behaviour are beginning to catch up with them and they want to make changes.”
It comes as comedian Marcus Brigstocke has revealed he became hooked on porn after cheating on his wife.
In one survey of 500 adults by the universities of Bournemouth and Roehampton, a fifth of people admitted to watching more porn in the spring of 2020 - during the first lockdown.
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And at just one clinic - UK Addiction Treatment’s London centre - they get two new patients a week — all aged 50 and above.
And these figures only represent the people who seek help; the stigma around porn addiction often leaves many suffering in silence, too ashamed to reach out.
Scientists at the University of Montreal estimate 100million adults globally are affected.
The shame associated with porn addiction can trigger a vicious cycle of self-esteem issues, loneliness, and mental health challenges - and seeking more comfort from porn.
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Naturally, it impacts relationships, with porn-induced erectile dysfunction a particular issue - where addicts fail to find sex as stimulating as porn.
The NHS also reported a rise in cases of younger men addicted to porn who suffer erectile dysfunction.
Marcus Brigstoke reveals he was hooked on porn after cheating on his wife
Research by psychotherapist Dr Paula Hall, who set up for sex and porn addiction, found that 70 per cent of people with the addiction had seen a 'significant impact' on their sexual relationships.
Dr Hall says: “The partner becomes a ‘porn widow’, as we sometimes talk about it because porn is preferred.”
Am I a porn widow?
If your partner watches porn every day that doesn't necessarily mean you're a porn widow.
According to the private addiction clinic , watching porn and wanting intimacy is entirely normal.
But when porn starts to take over other aspects of someone's life, that could be a sign of an addiction.
What are the signs?
Dr Ree Langham, a porn addiction recovery expert at , tells The Sun Health people with porn addiction “typically spend around 12 hours a week watching adult content".
Marcus Brigstocke reveals he was hooked on porn
Love Actually star Marcus Brigstocke has opened up about his porn addiction.
The 51-year-old comedian became hooked on porn after cheating on his wife.
Speaking to host Ben Branson on The Hidden 20% podcast, Marcus reflected on his infidelity and said: "I did the most hurtful, chaotic, devastating thing I could think of, I had an affair which ended my marriage and there was two kids in the mix.
"I carried the mess of that around with me, and it had led to a lot of very dysfunctional behaviour that I was in denial about.
"And, so I'd stayed sober from drugs, alcohol, and my compulsive eating disorder, but I had become addicted to porn."
He continued: "I really had no idea that I was addicted to it. I sort of thought I looked at a normal amount of porn.
"The normal amount of porn today is not like a normal amount of porn. Well before the internet.
"So, addicts now who have a porn addiction, most of them were addicted from about the age of 11 to something that no one knows about, that changes your brain chemistry.
"And there are so many people with different depths of addiction to porn.
"But porn is the most toxic and it's, it's changing an awful lot of young men."
Marcus admitted he had "fallen into a hole", but said he "wasn't ashamed" of spending several hours watching porn.
The funnyman said putting an end to this addition was a huge "relief"; and he began to find "clarity" again after getting help.
Experts agree that it’s less about time spent and more about the impact on their lives.
The NHS defines sex addiction as “any sexual activity that feels ‘out of control.’”
The Rehab Recovery list the top most common symptoms on their website:
- They watch porn compulsively
- They are watching porn for extended periods at a time
- They find it difficult to stop thinking about porn
- Their interest in sex with you has reduced or declined.
- They appear to be less attracted to you
- They are making more demands of you in bed
- They are experiencing physical pain and strain
- They are spending large amounts of money on accessing porn
- They seem more angry more frequently
- They seem more distracted more frequently
What help is available?
Porn addiction, whether a real addiction or not, is treated in a similar way to alcoholism or drug abuse.
A GP would usually direct someone to a clinic or support group such as Sex Addicts Annoymous ().
SAA has grown hugely in the past 20 years, going from around five meetings across the UK per week to 175.
It offers a space without judgment for groups of people with the same struggles.
There is also lots of help available online for people who are struggling with porn addiction.
One website, called , offers an online recovery course.
Why are people addicted to porn? Causes explained
Like drugs, alcohol or social media, pornography triggers a dopamine - the happy hormone - release in the brain.
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When someone has an orgasm while watching porn this releases another set of hormones, called endorphins - and these can relieve pain and stress.
It's the combination of these two chemicals in the brain that makes porn so addictive, said.
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