I was told my cancer symptoms were the menopause… I want to make the most of short time I have left

KATY Stephenson, 49, is an estate agent.

She lives in Bury St Edmunds with her husband Patrick, 56, an architect, and their children Jack, 18, and Tilly, 15.

Sitting in the consultant’s office, I looked at the nurses either side of me in total disbelief.

The grave-faced doctor had just told me I had ovarian cancer, and I couldn’t believe it.

Was I going to die and leave my two children, then 15 and 12, to grow up without me?

It was January 2021, and a month earlier I’d gone to A&E after having pain in the right side of my stomach.

Blood tests, an ultrasound and a CT scan revealed I had appendicitis and showed cell changes in my ovary and fallopian tubes.

Three days later, my appendix was removed and a sample of my left fallopian tube and ovary were taken for a biopsy.

One of the doctors said that, while it was probably nothing to worry about, there was a chance it could be cancer.

Hearing that word was horrifying. After five days in hospital, I was discharged, but didn’t hear anything until a month later, when I was asked to come back for my biopsy results.

During that time, I’d initially been so anxious, but after three weeks I assumed it couldn’t be serious if no one had been in touch, so I attended my appointment alone.

It was there that I was given the devastating news I had stage one ovarian cancer.

It was a huge shock, and while it was an aggressive cancer, it had been caught early.

I had visited my GP six months before my diagnosis with a number of symptoms, including going to the toilet more often, bloating quickly after eating and abdominal pain, but they said it was perimenopause.

When I told my husband, I broke down. He consoled me before we told the children. Tilly burst into tears and asked if I was going to die, and Jack was very quiet.

Two weeks later, I had a total hysterectomy, which included removing my ovaries and fallopian tubes, then began five months of chemo in February 2021.

I was plunged into surgical menopause, experiencing hot flushes, insomnia, brain fog, fatigue, bloating from steroids and neuropathy – AKA pain, numbness and tingling in my fingers and toes – all caused by chemo.

I’d always been a size 10, but went up a dress size. I was so angry, as I no longer looked or felt like me.

Then, that June, I was told there was no evidence of disease, and I’d be monitored with blood tests every three months. I felt so relieved and ready to move on with life.

But in September 2022, my consultant called with horrendous news. Tests to monitor my CA 125 levels – an indicator of ovarian cancer – revealed they’d massively risen.

A scan confirmed the cancer had spread to my abdominal cavity and was now incurable.

I was told I had four years to live, but nobody knew for sure.

The following month, I had extensive abdominal cavity surgery, more chemo and I was put on a drug to destroy cancer cell growth.

But when I couldn’t tolerate it, I switched drugs, which a new oncologist said could buy me two or three years.

Every two months, my bloods are checked, and my results in May were stable.

Living with incurable cancer is hard. My family all have therapy, and I’ve learned the best gift I can give my kids is to be as normal as possible.

In January, I discovered The Lady Garden Foundation, a charity raising awareness for gynaecological health. Through this, I speak about my experience to help others.

My family is my priority, and this year I have a lot to look forward to – my 20th wedding anniversary, my 50th birthday and three family holidays.

I’ve accepted I have incurable cancer, but I can still live life to the full.

I tell myself I’m not dying from cancer, I’m living with it.

Nobody knows when they’re going to die, and I’m determined to make the most of the time I have left.”