My ‘bubbly’ mum was hiding a secret pain – her suicide blindsided us then my dad died of a ‘broken heart’ months later

A WOMAN was suffered a double tragedy when her mum took her own life and her dad died "from the heartbreak" a little over a year later.

Katie Irvine, 28, says her "bubbly mum", Teresa, 50, was hiding a secret mental health battle - which left her "blindsided" when she ended her own life.

Teresa, a community fundraiser, was diagnosed with bipolar when she was 44, and depression when she was in her early twenties - but hid it from Katie under a "happy" persona.

Having spent her entire adult life worrying something "bad" was going to happen, Katie says she immediately knew what was wrong when police showed up at her work in March 2019 to inform her of her mum's death.

But her grief was compounded when she lost her dad, Gary Irvine, 54 - who had suffered from alcohol addiction - just a year and five months later, partially due to "the heartbreak and relief."

Katie, a sixth form support officer, from Sutton, Surrey, said: "My mum wanted to protect me from her diagnoses - right up until six months before her death.

"She was very happy - but it was very much outside of the home.

"Behind closed doors, she was a very, very different person.

"Her emotional reactions were quite extreme - going from manic highs to devastating lows.

"I felt abandoned after both my parents died - like I had no support anymore."

Katie's earliest memories of her "warm" mum were "really nice" - involving days out, long chats and lots of playing.

She was too young to understand Teresa's mental health problems, and only child Katie says she was the "sibling I never had".

"We were best friends," she said.

"She'd always be the one to play with me, because I didn't have any siblings.

"She just devoted everything to me - we did everything together."

When Katie arrived at secondary school, she started to get the feeling her family was different to everyone else's.

She found her mum would have "extreme emotional reactions" to everything Katie would tell her.

It got to the point where Katie stopped telling her anything that might upset her, or cause her to react badly.

"If I told her I had a bad day, she'd get really over-the-top upset about it," Katie said.

"Her emotions and reactions were so extreme, I didn't want to tell her anything bad.

"It was so stressful, I became extremely protective over her."

"It was always up-and-down, but now - it was like, she'd book holidays when she was up, talk about having nothing to live for when she was low.

Katie Irvine

During her teenage years, Katie remembers a lot of "rowing and shouting" between her parents.

When Katie hit her early twenties, Teresa's condition rapidly started to decline.

Between mid-2017 and her death in 2019, she had attempted to take her own life three times.

The third, which happened at the end of 2018, left her in intensive care for three months - as her organs began to shut down.

"It was really serious," Katie said.

"We weren't sure if she was going to come out of it.

"She was just very neurotic really, for that last year-and-a-half.

"It was always up-and-down, but now - it was like, she'd book holidays when she was up, talk about having nothing to live for when she was low."

DOUBLE TRAGEDY

At the time of Teresa's death, Katie was splitting her time living between her family home and her friend's house, down the road.

On March 14, 2019, she noted her mum "didn't look right" - but couldn't put her finger on why.

Teresa reassured her she'd be fine in the morning and Katie left to stay with her friend.

"The last thing I ever said to her was 'get a good night's sleep, I'll see you in the morning'," Katie said.

"The police came to my work the next day, and I just knew.

"They told me, dropped me off home, then it was investigations, the inquest, planning her funeral and throwing myself into my PGCE."

Katie said it was then that her dad, Gary, started to "shut down" after his wife died.