HARD TRUTH
Men would rather end their relationship than talk about sexual dysfunction
Dr James Stevenson offers advice on what to do if you have erection problems
IT'S normal to feel embarrassed or apprehensive about discussing sexual dysfunction.
But a new study has revealed one in five men would rather end their relationship than talk about issues like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or loss of libido.
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The study, which involved 8,000 adults found one in four men have experienced these issues.
Not only has this affected relationships, with 21 per cent choosing to break up with a partner rather than open up about it, one in four sufferers claim it has left them feeling depressed.
Younger men, aged 25 to 34 are the most likely (33 per cent) to end a relationship than speak to their partner, followed by Gen Z males (32 per cent).
It emerged nearly half (45 per cent) of those who have suffered premature ejaculation have not talked about their concerns to anyone, along with 43 per cent of men who saw a drop in libido and 34 per cent who had erectile dysfunction.
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Mesha Moinirad, advocator for chronic illness, who is working with Bupa, which commissioned the research said: “Speaking about sexual dysfunction is hugely embarrassing and there is a real stigma attached to erection problems for men.
“As someone who lives with Crohn's disease and has a stoma bag, I’m well versed on embarrassing topics, but in my early 20s I experienced issues with my sexual function, and it left me feeling incredibly isolated and depressed.
“I couldn’t think about work or focus on relationships, and I was worried it was going to impact my fertility which left me feeling even more low.
“Eventually, I spoke to a healthcare professional and it gave me my life back.
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“I can’t stress the importance of seeking help and talking about what you’re experiencing, don’t keep it to yourself as it will only make things worse.”
The study found of those who have experienced a sexual issue, 14 per cent suffered premature ejaculation, 29 per cent reported a loss of libido and 13 per cent had erectile dysfunction.
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Nearly four in 10 of those blamed their issues on poor mental health (38 per cent), while 36 per cent put it down to stress at work.
Others felt it was affected by health conditions (29 per cent), body image issues (27 per cent), a poor diet (21 per cent) and even having children (17 per cent).
But this has left 33 per cent with anxiety, 28 per cent frustrated and the same percentage embarrassed.
Nearly one in five felt guilty (18 per cent) and 15 per cent admitted it led to arguments with their partner.
Worryingly, nearly a third of men suffering from sexual dysfunction even admitted to turning to the internet or dark web to buy treatments to avoid embarrassment or judgment.
Dr James Stevenson, lead practitioner at said: “It is not surprising that men’s sexual dysfunction is currently a silent crisis.
“Outdated perceptions on how men must act has led to them being reluctant to speak out when they experience issues with their health, especially surrounding their sexual function.
“As a result, it is having an impact on not only their physical health but their mental health too.
“We must do more to encourage men to talk to others about what they’re going through and seek help when they need it.”
What are the physical causes of erectile dysfunction?
There are four main types of physical condition that can cause impotence in men:
- Vasculogenic disorders such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes affect the flow of blood to your penis and cause erectile dysfunction.
- Neurogenic conditions, which affect the nerves and include disorders such as Parkinson's disease and multiple sclerosis, are also responsible.
- A hormonal disorder, affecting your hormones, is another example of a physical problem that can lead to impotence.
- An anatomical condition is something that affects the tissue or structure of the penis and is the fourth physical cause. Old age is also commonly associated with impotence.
Dr James Stevenson's advice to those experiencing erection problems
Be open and honest
Many who experience sexual dysfunction have never spoken about it and this can have a real impact on their mental health.
Whether you’re speaking to your partner, a friend or a healthcare professional it can help to ease the isolation you may be feeling and you may find they have experienced something similar themselves.
Communicating is so key as keeping it to yourself will only make you feel worse.
Reconnect with your partner
Connecting with your partner without the pressure of the goal being penetrative sex can help to reboot your relationship.
You can be intimate in lots of other ways such as by cuddling, kissing, and massage, and explore new ways to connect whether through shared hobbies, meaningful conversations or simply spending quality time together as a couple.
It’s really important you take things slow until you feel comfortable again.
Make lifestyle changes
Problems with erectile dysfunction can be linked to high blood pressure, diabetes, being obese and drinking too much alcohol. So, making changes to your lifestyle can help.
Make sure you stop smoking and reduce the amount of alcohol you are drinking.
Try to exercise for 150 minutes per week, including a range of high intensity and lower intensity workouts, this will help you to lose weight if you are overweight.
Cut out saturated fats from your diet and introduce fish and lean protein such as chicken, fruit and vegetables, nuts and seeds, whole grains and olive oil.
Make sure you’re also reducing any stress you are under.
Seek Support
If you have made changes to your lifestyle and it hasn’t helped, it’s really important to see a doctor who will be able to investigate the root cause of the problem.
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They will be able to test for any underlying health conditions and suggest ways and treatments to help manage any erection issues.
There is also a range of support available for any mental health conditions you are suffering as a result of sexual dysfunction.
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