‘AZ has given up proposing to me’: Alesha Dixon on shunning marriage and playing by her own rules
MARRIAGE, more kids and a record deal? Alesha says she doesn't need them
THE last time we met Alesha Dixon, she hinted that a wedding was on the horizon.
Boyfriend Azuka Ononye was proposing “all the time” and she said no one should be surprised if one day they just ran off, got hitched and told everyone about it later.
Today, she’s not quite as convinced it will happen like that. Or indeed at all.
In fact, she says Azuka, 35 – known as AZ, pronounced “Ay-Zee” – has stopped bothering to ask.
“No, he’s given up on that,” she laughs.
“We just go with the flow. It’s not really something we’ve discussed.”
She says this, but a super-chilled-out AZ is here at the shoot today wearing a large silver band on the fourth finger of his left hand.
When asked, he claims it’s his wedding ring.
Alesha immediately scoffs at the very suggestion.
“It’s not a wedding ring, it’s just a ring that I bought him on his birthday! We’re not married! Look, we’ll never say never, but...”
It’s not a priority?
“Well, I guess not.”
Neither is expanding their family.
There’s no doubt that Alesha, 37, adores being a mum to two-and-a-half- year-old Azura, but ask her if she’d like to have another and she grimaces.
“Obviously I can’t predict what’s gonna happen in the future and I would never completely rule anything out, but it’s dependent on lots of things. And there are some times I think: ‘Not a hope in hell.’”
After all, once you’ve come through the sleep deprivation and grown accustomed to having a smidgeon of freedom again, it’s a big decision to go back to the relentless newborn days (and nights).
“It really is,” she agrees.
“And you know, when they’re joyful and everything is wonderful, you think: ‘Oh, this would be amazing.’ But it’s not [like that all the time].”
Alesha describes a recent holiday in Dubai when Azura had a full-blown meltdown in the middle of a restaurant.
“AZ had to take her away for a walk cos the whole restaurant was staring.
"I was sitting there trying to be anonymous, trying to blend in and she was literally screaming the place down.
";Both of us looked at each other like: ‘Wow, wow!’ So this ‘terrible twos’ is a real thing.”
And it’s presumably moments like that when the prospect of baby number two isn’t so appealing...?
“Exactly! But she’s at such a vibrant stage in her development and that’s what I love about children – if you’re having a bad day they can just say or do something and it changes everything.
“Dancing and singing are pretty standard activities in our household, so she’s a bit of a performer, and we all have to watch.
"She’s very funny, very cheeky and she knows it, and I love that about her.
"She’s got a lot of character, a lot of personality.”
Hmm, we wonder where she gets that from!
Alesha herself is a force of nature with real presence, a generous spirit and a laugh which is huge, hearty and sincere.
Azura sounds every inch her mother’s daughter.
“Well, I guess her temper tantrums probably come from me!” She laughs and AZ nods in agreement.
Quite apart from the occasional histrionics on the home front, Alesha has plenty on her plate dealing with a pair of toddlers at work.
As Britain’s Got Talent’s live shows kick off tonight, she says the ever-squabbling love/hate relationship between David Walliams and Simon Cowell has hit its peak.
“It’s such a clash of the egos,” she says.
“Obviously, David’s really witty, and so when Simon comes back with a one-liner that silences him, it’s so funny because you don’t expect it. It’s like tennis – back and forth.
“From an egotistical and a competitive point of view, they’re very alike.
"But as characters, I would say they’re very different.
“David is more gentle and sensitive towards the acts – never mean.
"With Simon, I appreciate his honest tongue and I think that’s why we fell in love with him in the first place, because he tends to say the things that some people don’t have the guts to.”
As well as the usual outrageous moments, there has been plenty of emotion in this, BGT’s landmark 10th series.
It’s usually Amanda Holden who gets swept away by a moving performance, but even the normally composed Alesha broke down during 14-year-old Jasmine Elcock‘s rendition of Cher’s Believe, which saw an equally enraptured Ant and Dec use their Golden Buzzer to put her straight through to this week’s live semi-finals.
“I’m not really a crier on TV, so I surprised myself with that one,” says Alesha.
“I was trying to hold back, but I think it got to that point where I just had to go with the tears.
"I was thinking: ‘Oh god, I’m gonna be on TV ugly-crying!’ But you know, we’re humans, we react to things for different reasons.
“I looked at her and I just thought: ‘What an incredible platform for a young woman of colour.’
"We filmed that audition during a week when there were so many topical things about the lack of diversity on television and the boycotting of the Oscars.
“I was thinking about myself, I was thinking about my daughter, I was thinking about other black women and I felt kind of overwhelmed by all these thoughts and feelings.
"And the purity in her voice just set something off in me. I found it really, really moving.”
Alesha’s own music career began back in 1999 when she formed Mis-Teeq with Sabrina Washington and Su-Elise Nash.
The trio went on to notch up seven Top 10 singles, including the 2003 classic Scandalous, before splitting in 2005 to pursue solo careers to varying degrees of success.
Reunion rumours reached fever pitch recently when Alesha confirmed the three of them were planning on meeting up and that the subject of getting back together would be on the cards.
“Well, I actually said we were gonna get back together for a catch-up – I didn’t say we were in talks to get back together,” she says today, appearing to backtrack ever so slightly.
“The honest truth is I really don’t know.
"I think what’s so lovely and what I’m really blown away by is the love that seems to be there.
"I’m actually tempted to do it just to shut everyone up!
“Look, if it wasn’t for the girls I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now.
"I love what Mis-Teeq created, we went out on a high and I wouldn’t want anything to ruin that.
"But I love the idea of us doing something in some shape or form and having some sort of moment.”
Alesha, who went on to win Strictly Come Dancing in 2007 and then appeared as a judge on the show for three series, has experienced the ups and downs of life as a solo artist.
Currently unsigned and without a record deal, she decided to approach the release of her latest album Do It For Love differently.
She set up her own label, put the music out herself and, in a surprise move, made the singles ineligible for the official charts by requesting to opt out.
According to Alesha, it was so that she wouldn’t be pitted against artists with huge marketing budgets or judged on whether or not she made the Top 40.
Fans can download the singles, but any sales won’t count towards a chart position.
She claims industry politics have made it impossible to compete with big-label acts and so she’d rather not even try, but adds that despite going it alone and funding everything herself, she is managing to turn a profit through live performances.
“It’s not a level playing field. I can’t expect to compete with artists signed to major labels, so I have to just do the best I can do in the circumstances that I’m in.
"For me, it’s a passion project. It’s a self-funded record, I made an album I absolutely love, I’m back on stage, I’ve got lots of gigs coming up over the summer, and as far as I’m concerned it’s been a success.
"I’ve learned so much about putting your own record together and putting it out yourself.
“Some of the things we’ve achieved with this record, considering we’re not on mainstream radio, are incredible.
"And chart position just isn’t important to me any more, it’s just not.
"I’m not working at a loss – we’re doing really well and I’m really pleased.”
The industry is more cut-throat than when Alesha started out 17 years ago, and she says anyone embarking on a music career today has got to be super-savvy in order to escape the pitfalls.
“There are so many artists who have their songs streamed millions of times and don’t make any money from that.
"You’ve got to protect yourself as an artist, making sure you negotiate better deals so that when your music is being streamed, you are still making an income.
"Artists have to eat, survive, pay bills, and they deserve to be paid for their music.
“The more experienced you become in the industry, the more you get to know yourself and what you’re willing to tolerate and not willing to tolerate, then you can make smarter choices.
“I’ve experienced many highs, some lows, and I think all that makes you a well-rounded artist and a stronger person.
“You do have to be thick-skinned to survive, but you can be thick-skinned but not lose sense of who you are and still be human and vulnerable.
"Everything sort of takes care of itself if you’ve got a really strong foundation within yourself – which I have.”
Alesha’s difficult childhood has been well-documented, and she has spoken openly about witnessing the domestic abuse her single mother Beverley suffered at the hands of her live-in partner.
She remains a staunch supporter of the charity Refuge, and £1 from every frock sold from her recently launched capsule collection with online store Little Black Dress will go directly to them.
“My childhood wasn’t all doom and gloom,” she insists.
“Of course, there weren’t pleasant times, but for the most part I was a happy child.
"I had lots of love in my life and I had a mother who used to tell me that it doesn’t matter what you choose to do in life as long as you’re happy and you feel like you can contribute something to the world.
“I am an optimist – annoyingly to some people – but I am.
"It doesn’t matter what’s happening around me, what’s going on in my life, there’s a part of me that knows the sun is always shining and I will always be OK.
"Everything that happens, I always think: ‘Well, it’ll pass, it’ll pass, it’ll pass...’”
Big on spiritual philosophy, Alesha lists gurus such as Gary Zukav, Marianne Williamson and Eckhart Tolle as major influences.
“Life throws things at us to challenge us, to test us, and that’s the only way you grow.
";I’ve got to that place in my life where if something challenging does come my way, I don’t look at it as a negative.
"I think: ‘OK, what am I supposed to learn about myself here?’ Focus on today, get today right, and be the best person you can be.”
She apologises for occasionally lapsing into “hippy terms”.
It’s true, she does, but she’s self-aware enough to notice and clearly believes passionately in what she preaches.
And so it’s easy to forgive her the odd moment of therapy speak.
“When you think about what real life is, the world of entertainment is a fluffy place to be,” she says.
“And I never want to lose sight of that. I’m mindful of that, and so I’m always really grateful.”
Watch Britain’s Got Talent’s live semi-finals from tonight, 7.30pm, ITV.