Wife’s brother is also my lover but I can’t leave my family

I’m sending you my e-leaflet Have You Lost Someone To Cancer? and will be thinking of you.

Dear Deidre

MY dad says I’m naïve because I think happiness is more important than money.

I’m 22.

I got good grades at school but I have always loved flowers and I worked in a flower shop when I left school.

Now I’ve got a job in a department store.

The money is OK but I hate the job.

I have no outlet for my creativity.

I have been offered a job doing flowers for weddings and occasions.

I’d love that but the work is not regular.

My dad says I should stay where I am.

He says financial security is more important.

DEIDRE SAYS: Why not suggest to your father that you try doing the flower job for six months?

Perhaps you could start by doing that job part-time, but continue part-time at the department store.

You have to work hard to follow your dream.

Tell your dad if it doesn’t work out, you will do any job while you think about your future and work towards getting further qualifications.

Dear Deidre

MY partner pleasures himself while looking at porn and has lost interest in sex with me.

We have been together for two years and our sex life was great.

For the past six months he has been saying he is tired or not in the mood.

I woke up the other night and realised he wasn’t in bed.

He was downstairs in the lounge on his laptop.

I’ve tried confronting him about it but he looks really uncomfortable and changes the subject.

I’m 32 and he’s 35.

What should I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell him how much you are missing his loving and ask if he is worried about something.

Stress can affect the libido and it could be easier to find relief by pleasuring himself than having to worry about your satisfaction.

But warn him that online porn is especially addictive, has a numbing effect and he is risking your relationship.

My e-leaflet Your Man Lost The Urge? can help.

topic4today

ONE in six UK adults has taken part in a threesome and it is one of the most common fantasies readers write to me about.

My e-leaflet Thinking Of A Threesome will help you decide if it is right for you.

Email me at the address below for a free copy.

Get in touch

EVERY problem gets a free personal reply.

Email me here, private message me on , or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF (please enclose SAE).

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