Women feel cheated by their partner having female friends … so find out how this couple deal with hubby’s best girl pal

CHEATING has long been considered the ultimate betrayal – but can close friendships be just as bruising for a partner left out in the cold?

A new study claims women feel equally wounded when their partner forms a close bond with another female — even if there is no actual affair.

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Men worry less about so-called “emotional infidelity” and far more about sex.

Here, two colleagues talk about their intimate friendship, while the man’s wife of 12 years — and mum of their two children, Milly, ten, and seven-year-old Noah — grins and bears it.

The Husband

ADAM GORDON, 41, a salesman from Leigh-on- Sea, Essex, and Jo’s colleague says:

I love Michelle more than anything – we’ve been married for 12 years and are still really close – but my friend Jo is such a funny girl.

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Through working together for a year we’ve become great mates.

She is very forward and tells it like it is. I love those qualities in a woman. Our firm’s HQ is in Amsterdam and we meet up for a few nights each month on work trips.

We always stay in the same hotel. We’re in the office in the day but at night anything goes.

We’ll go for a few beers or dinner. Sometimes we go clubbing. We totally get one another.

If anyone does something annoying at work, Jo is the person I’ll text.

It is a different dynamic to the one I have with Michelle

Hubby Adam

We’re always sharing private jokes and have our own shorthand code about people and situations.

I’ll text her when something funny happens or I see something Jo would like.

It is a different dynamic to the one I have with Michelle but it is totally harmless.

Yesterday Jo sent me a message about what she was going to wear to a do and we enjoyed a bit of banter about it, like friends do.

For me, being besties with Jo isn’t unusual. I’ve always had more female friends than male.

I mentioned to Michelle that Jo had splashed out on a £6,000 boob job and it was a bit awkward.

Michelle half-joked: “Are you sure you two aren’t having an affair?” I realised it can seem a bit strange to her.

But she doesn’t need to stress. There’s no reason I shouldn’t enjoy the company of another woman, especially someone as fab as Jo.

The Wife

ADAM’S wife Michelle, 37, is a teacher. She says:

I was only 19 when I met Adam and didn’t want to settle down so young. But the more time I spent with him, I knew he was The One.

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I don’t mind too much that he and Jo are friends but my biggest fear has always been that one day he would meet someone funnier than me.

And that is what Adam has found in Jo.

According to him, she is hilarious.

He says she was the naughty girl at school and he was the naughty boy.

They’re a perfect match, so it plays on my mind.

I know they’re in touch on FaceTime and via text.

A lot of it is for work but a lot of what they gossip about isn’t.

She gets to see his social side, having drinks with him. I’m left with his snoring, and socks and pants left on the floor. It isn’t fair

Wife Michelle

When I message Adam it seems boring in comparison.

We discuss the kids and day-to-day stuff like shopping, dinner and what we have planned in the week.

I miss him when he and Jo are away together with work.

She gets to see his social side, having drinks with him.

I’m left with his snoring, and socks and pants left on the floor. It isn’t fair.

I’ve no choice but to be cool about Adam working with someone as gorgeous as Jo. But I’ll never know for sure what they get up to.

I always think that one day he’ll wake up and decide he could do better with Jo.

I get jealous of their time together and I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I feel left out. I don’t think he realises.

The Pal

ACCOUNT manager Jo Murray, 34, of Lytham near Blackpool, is married and has a son aged five. She says of her close work friendship with Adam:

I’ve known Adam for a year. We clicked straight away.

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Once a month we’re in our company’s European offices and it’s “work hard, play hard”.

We stay in the same hotel every night but nothing has ever happened between us. I’m happily married and so is he.

Adam will say: “Are we going out-out tonight, Jo?” It’s his cue for going clubbing after we’ve spent the day working.

I never get hit on because most people assume we’re a couple.

We’re massive foodies so even if we fancy a quiet one, we’ll eat out together.

We’re always texting each other and the messages are cheeky

Pal Jo

At work we’re like identical twins – the naughtiest in the class. But we know we’ve got each other’s backs covered too.

We were in a taxi recently and he said: “Jo, I’m sorry, I’ve just elbowed your boob.” I laughed it off.

We’re always texting each other and the messages are cheeky but it’s just harmless banter between mates. To my mind, flirting is a harmless part of life.

I’ve been with my husband since I was 18 and most of my mates are men – although their partners don’t tend to like me that much.

I haven’t met Michelle yet but we’ve said “Hi” over FaceTime.

Men and women should be able to enjoy a drink together without stressing what his wife is worrying about. Life’s too short.