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'I had a baby at 72'

How one OAP defied her critics to become a mum for the first time

After miscarrying three times, Daljinder Kaur had given up on her dreams of ever being a mum

I had a baby at 72

Daljinder Kaur, 72, lives in Amritsar, India, with her husband Mohinder Gill, 79. She says:

"Walking down the street heavily pregnant, everyone stared at me. They couldn’t believe what they saw: an elderly woman with a growing bump.

Daljinder Kaur was overjoyed when she finally fell pregnant in her 70s
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Daljinder Kaur was overjoyed when she finally fell pregnant in her 70s

Their stares were hurtful, but nothing could take away the joy I felt at being pregnant.

And, at the age of 72, I’d waited long enough.

My husband Mohinder and I wed in 1970.

It was an arranged marriage, but a happy one.

Daljinder Kaur with her husband, Mohinder Singh Gill, pictured here in the 1970s, were desperate to have children, but she miscarried three times
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Daljinder Kaur with her husband, Mohinder Singh Gill, pictured here in the 1970s, were desperate to have children, but she miscarried three timesCredit: Cover Asia Press

Following our wedding, I had three miscarriages and was totally devastated.

Neighbours insulted us because we couldn’t produce a child, and even our own relatives said I was ‘cursed’ and that my husband should remarry.

Thankfully, he was compassionate and supportive, and said he loved me no matter what.

When Daljinder heard of IVF in 2012, she and Mohinder knew they had to try
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When Daljinder heard of IVF in 2012, she and Mohinder knew they had to try

But I felt a deep sense of loneliness at not being a mother.

Watching friends’ children grow into adults killed me inside.

Some days I could deal with it, but on others the pain was so overwhelming I couldn’t leave my house.

Despite how I felt, Mohinder and I decided to stop trying for a baby.

The doctor was hesitant and Daljinder was judged by friends and relatives, but her drive to be a mum overrode it all
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The doctor was hesitant and Daljinder was judged by friends and relatives, but her drive to be a mum overrode it allCredit: Cover Asia Press

Three miscarriages were distressing enough.

India, especially in the 1970s and 1980s, didn’t have much help or advice and I resigned myself to believing I would never have a child.

Then one day in 2012, I saw an advert on TV for the National Fertility & Test Tube Baby Centre in Haryana, northern India – a clinic that carried out IVF.

I’d never even heard of IVF before, but I excitedly told Mohinder that we had to try, and he agreed.

The couple spent all their savings on IVF treatment, costing £2,000 each round, but were overjoyed when Daljinder conceived the third time
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The couple spent all their savings on IVF treatment, costing £2,000 each round, but were overjoyed when Daljinder conceived the third timeCredit: BARCROFT

The doctor I saw was hesitant because of my age and told me getting pregnant would put my life at risk, but I begged him.

He carried out tests, and when they came back positive, he agreed.

However, I had no eggs, so we used donor eggs and sperm.

At just over £2,000 for each round of IVF, it didn’t come cheap.

Despite her age, the pregnancy went smoothly and Arman Singh was born by planned Caesarean on April 19, weighing 4lb 4oz
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Despite her age, the pregnancy went smoothly and Arman Singh was born by planned Caesarean on April 19, weighing 4lb 4oz

Mohinder is a farmer who owns land, so we’re financially comfortable, but the treatment used up all our savings.

The first two attempts, in 2013 and 2014, failed.

Then in July 2015, 20 years after my menopause, the doctor told me I’d conceived.

Mohinder and I wept with joy.

Daljinder ignored friends who warned she wouldn't live to see her child into adulthood and says the child will be loved enough to last a lifetime
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Daljinder ignored friends who warned she wouldn't live to see her child into adulthood and says the child will be loved enough to last a lifetimeCredit: BARCROFT

Friends and relatives all told me I was wrong to fall pregnant at my age, that I was too old to look after a newborn and I’d die before my child was an adult. But I ignored them.

The baby would be so loved it would be enough to last a lifetime, whether we were there or not.

Of course, I had doubts.

Daljinder is breastfeeding and struggling with sleepless night, like all new mums
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Daljinder is breastfeeding and struggling with sleepless night, like all new mumsCredit: AFP / Getty

I wasn’t sure if my health would allow me to carry the baby for nine months, but my desire for a child overcame everything else.

I loved being pregnant and there were no complications.

Our son Arman Singh was born by a planned Caesarean, weighing 4lb 4oz, on April 19.

Holding him was the most beautiful feeling in the world.

Daljinder and Mohinder finally feel as though their family is complete
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Daljinder and Mohinder finally feel as though their family is completeCredit: Cover Asia Press / Faisal Magray

I am breastfeeding and, like any new mum, struggling with the sleepless nights.

I need physiotherapy because of pains in my knee joints from picking Arman up, due to my mobility declining.

But I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m sure I’m going to be around to see him grow up.

Finally, our family feels complete."

BTW

  • Britain’s oldest mum is Sue Tollefsen, who had her daughter Freya in 2008 at the age of 57.
  • The oldest father in the world is Ramajit Raghav from India, whose second child was born in 2012 when he was 96.
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