Are thoughts of great sex with your ex ruining your relationship? Here are five tips to turn up the heat with your new lover

OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr.

Unfortunately many people can’t help but sigh deeply when they look at a new partner.

Inwardly you wish they put the sizzle between the sheets the way your ex did.

Yes, maybe the ex that broke your heart or who wasn’t right for you, but they gave you epic sex and you can’t get them out of your head.

A recent survey found that two thirds of people admit that the best sex they ever had was in a past relationship.

It’s hard to forget about the ex who brought you to your knees with passion… maybe even to your knees in a sex position or two.

Such knee-trembling memories can leave you freaking out about the sex you’re having now.

Try these five tips to turn up the heat with your new lover…

1) Dump the baggage

Baggage comes in many forms including fantasising about the good old days in bed with your ex.

It’s crucial for your new relationship to put this in perspective.

Focus on how they weren’t right for you. Remind yourself of what broke you two up.

Force yourself to remember the bad stuff, not how good they were in bed.

2) Focus on the positives

A dark cloud might be unfairly forming over your new relationship.

Your new partner might be great - funny, caring plus your best friend likes them – bonus!

Sadly, if they don’t match up to a previous lover it can leave you less than enthusiastic about sex.

Just as you’re now focusing on what went wrong with your ex, keep your mind on everything that’s right with your new partner and keep their three best attributes firmly in mind.

3) Make a fresh start

So your new lover hasn’t wooed you into bed with new tricks like your ex. But who says things can’t get hotter?

Start with the technique they do well. Maybe they’re a lovely kisser - encourage them to give you more.

And to kiss you everywhere… down your body, between your legs, putting they’re good technique to work.