Mumsnet users rally round to support a new mum whose mother refuses to speak to her because of the baby name she chose
Apparently, her son's name 'is a traditional English name... nothing weird or unusual'
A FIRST-TIME mum who has fallen out with her own mother in a row over her new-born son’s name earlier this week has taken to social media for support – and discovered that she’s not alone.
Posting on Mumsnet the woman, who goes by Direct Your Call, explained that she was so shocked by her mum’s reaction and refusal to accept she is now considering disowning her completely.
Apparently, the pair have had a difficult relationship in the past.
Direct Your Call said: “My dad told me my mum was so upset at the choice of name she was refusing to look at any pictures of baby or speak to me or about me.
“She has deleted her Facebook account too. Apparently I knew she hated that name and I picked it to get back at her.
“When I was reeling a list of names at her before his birth she said my chosen name was common and horrible and her second cousin once had a dog called that name so I can't call him that.
“My partner’s family are very, very supportive and have been nipping to the shop for us and just coming over briefly each day to check were alright (of course they ask first though and don't just show up) so in that way I am very lucky.
“I just need to talk about it because it's shocked me. It's not just about me anymore it's affecting my son as now I think I'll make the decision to go NC (no contact) with her.
“I gave birth on Monday it is now Friday and the situation hasn't changed.
“I can never, ever forgive her for this but my dad and sister who live with her have been stuck in the middle and now I want to disown my mother in return. Advice please?”
Shockingly, it seems Direct Your Call was not the only mum to go through this.
Mrs Joey Maynard said: “I know someone who was in a similar situation.
“Grandmother declared she would have nothing to do with them or the baby (her first grandchild) unless the parents changed the perfectly ordinary and unexceptional name the baby had been given.
“The parents caved and renamed the baby to something the grandmother approved of.
“The grandmother still holds a grudge about the original name - baby is about six years old now, I think - and while polite to the parents in public, has treated them as distant acquaintances since, and continues to show next to no interest in the grandchild.
“Everyone else thinks the grandmother's behaviour has been a complete overreaction and pretty appalling really, and as a consequence, the parents and child now have very little contact with the grandmother.
“They've pretty much decided that if she wants to reject her grandchild for such a trivial reason, they want to have as little contact with the grandmother as possible, even if she does ‘forgive’ them for their unintentional offense in picking the wrong baby name.”
Lorelei Gilmore is my BFF added: “Both my sister and I have clashed with my mum over names, and weirdly, her dislike of our choices had similar roots.”
Lorelei’s sister’s name was disliked by the mother because it was “the name of one of Ian Huntley’s victims – obviously not the b***** reason my sis chose it!
“My sister stuck to her guns but our mum was sulky for weeks after the birth.”
Lorelei was next to give birth and chose a name Raphael (Raffy for short) which she had always liked as a child, for her son.
She added: “BUT he was also born around the time when the Amanda Knox trial was going on - and Amanda's boyfriend was called Rafael. Cue my mum yelling that I can't use the name, people will 'always' associate it with him, etc etc.
“I gave in (I'm the wimpy sister) and chose another name (which I now love) but I sometimes feel a bit sad that she made such a fuss, and my son didn't get the name I had picked years and years ago.”
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Obliviated said: “My dad (divorced from my mum) didn't speak to me for YEARS after he was offended by DC1's (dear child 1) name - his first grandchild.
“He wouldn't have recognised him in the street.
“I visit twice a year or so now but he's not really a grandad, the DC hardly know who he is, they've never had a birthday or Christmas card.
“It's a shame because he has other children, so the DC have never gotten to know their aunties, uncle and cousin.”
Speaking in support of the mums, most commenters agreed the grandmas were ‘drama queens’, ‘paranoid and narcissistic’, ‘controlling and manipulative’, ‘nutty’, ‘small-minded’ and ‘unforgivable’.
As Hoose Rice put it: 'Your mum is a gigantic a***'.