Ripped soldier who joined the Special Forces to either ‘become a man or die’ is finally at peace… after becoming a woman
Following her transition, Alana has had to deal with being rejected by her loved ones
A BUFF ex-military man has finally found the courage to live as a woman, after years of feeling trapped in the wrong body.
The former US Special Forces soldier was born a boy called Ryan, but now he’s had full gender reassignment surgery and looks completely unrecognisable.
Growing up, Alana, from Portland, Oregon, struggled to come to terms with her gender.
She said: “As a child, I prayed every night. I prayed that god would either change my body and make me a girl or change my mind so that I wouldn’t want to be.”
In hope of concealing her true identity, Alana decided to be as masculine as possible, by joining in the army.
The brave 32-year-old explained: “I just sort of constructed this false personality that was just a combination of action heroes that I could think of, very much the stoic violent, male type.”
During her time in the army, Alana hid her true feelings behind her rippling muscles and occupied her days with lethal armed combat.
She revealed: “I joined the military initially because I felt like it was my only option to either force myself into manhood somehow or die.
“I wanted very much to be actively engaged in combat so I would have the opportunity to get myself killed. I view it very much as passive suicide.
“I fought, shot, lifted weights, I grew beards and I rode a Harley and it didn’t change anything. I would still cry myself to sleep at night.”
After she began taking hormone treatment, causing her to develop breasts, Alana was taunted and criticised by her peers.
Tragically, Alana became to self-destructive that she was forced to leave the army in 2010 after she attempted to cut her own breasts off with a scalpel.
Following her decision, Alana has also had to deal with rejection from her parents, who find it difficult to accept that she’s always felt like a girl.
She confessed: “My dad didn’t talk to me for like a week or two weeks.
“They just would not accept me as their daughter and I’ll only ever be their son. I was a massive disappointment.”
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Since Alana’s transformation in 2012, she’s had a number of different surgeries, including a breast augmentation, facial feminisation surgery and sex reassignment surgery.
She explained: “I wouldn’t say that I felt like I was in the wrong body as much as I was in the wrong role. Gender boils down to a lot more than just your physical form.”
Following the successful procedures, Alana hopes to have more surgeries in order to appear more feminine and avoid the ridicule of society.
She revealed: Alana said: “The surgery makes it less likely people will realise you are trans and gives you more safety. I want to survive.”
Now that Alana has transitioned, she hopes to meet someone who accepts her for who she is.
She admitted: “I’m hoping that eventually I’ll be able to settle down with someone – it’s important for me to find love.
“I finally feel like I’m a real person now and I don’t have to pretend anymore.”