Think it’s ok to flirt behind your partner’s back? Experts say it’s just as bad as jumping into bed with someone
According to research, most of us would be more hurt by an emotional affair than a physical one... so what counts as crossing the line?
SOMETIMES when people are unhappy in their relationships, they tend to drift a little.
Perhaps you’re spending less time with your partner, and engaging in some ‘harmless’ flirting at work or, as is increasingly the case, online.
But it doesn’t count as cheating as long as there’s no sexual contact, right?
has revealed that most of us would be more upset if our partner embarked on an emotional affair than a physical one.
The American study involved a huge 63,894 gay, lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual people – and ONLY straight men would be more upset by their girlfriend having sex with someone else.
The men and women taking part were asked what would upset them more – their partners having sex with someone but not falling in love with them, or their partners falling in love with someone but not having sex with them.
Overall, men were more likely to be upset by sexual infidelity (54 vs 35 per cent) and women by affairs of the heart (63 vs 46 per cent).
This was true across all age groups, incomes, relationships types, and relationship lengths – as well as the participant’s history of being cheated on and of being unfaithful.
However, it was only true of straight men – possibly because of the evolutionary explanation, that they risk accidentally investing in a child which is not related to them.
When it came to the gay community, the vast majority of participants agreed that emotional infidelity was more hurtful.
Some 70 per cent of bisexual men, 73 per cent of bisexual women, 68 per cent of gay men, and 66 per cent of lesbian women said this was the case.
So what is emotional infidelity?
It’s a difficult one to define, but these are some of the questions to ask yourself…
- Would your partner be upset if they walked in and saw you flirting in this way?
- Do you feel emotionally unfulfilled in your relationship? If you are purposefully seeking something to fill that void, this could be considered cheating.
- Are you alienating your partner while investing emotional energy with someone else?
- And, perhaps most importantly, are you treating your partner in a way which you yourself would NOT like to be treated?
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Putting the issue to bed, relationship coach Chris Armstrong told Elite Daily: “If you are married to or exclusively dating someone then you should fully expect that verbal, physical or emotional intimacy is exclusive to you and that person.
“End of discussion.”