From flirty chat to scintillating foreplay… Dr Pam Spurr reveals seven steps to reach Oh-Oh-Heaven!
Here's how to turn up the heat in the bedroom this summer
OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must- know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter .
Usually I don’t have time for so-called ‘National Days’. Can you really get excited about National Toast Day or National Burger Day? You might love both but a dedicated day? Nope.
But something we should celebrate is National Orgasm Day, July 31st, because the stats reveal all’s not sizzling between the sheets.
Research from sexology boffins shows nearly 70 per cent of women regularly miss out on the Big-O.
And even a quarter of men admit to faking one from time-to- time usually due to stress or fatigue.
Also a survey by LELO intimate lifestyle brand, found around three-quarters of the country are generally less-than-impressed with their sex lives.
Here are seven steps to quivering climaxes for satisfaction guaranteed...
1. Show the love
Many studies have found women who regularly reach climax are those who feel loved-up. Well before sex starts, show lots of love to her in little ways – compliments, a bit of romance, the little things add up.
I coined the phrase ‘before-play’ fifteen years ago to highlight this fact.
2. Take it slow and sensual
Research shows that to get revved up most women need around 20 minutes of foreplay. Guys, please don’t take this as a cue to strum back and forth on her clitoral zone like it’s a banjo. It’s not.
Mix it up. Begin behind her ears with gentle kisses/licks. Then move slowly down her body planting more kisses as you go before you hit the C-zone.
By then she’s dying for that kind of action.
3. Ask, ask and ask again
Sound out if the sensations you’re giving her during foreplay are the right pressure, speed and friction.
You can keep it simple by asking if she’d like your touch/kisses to be a little harder or a little softer.
4. It doesn’t have to be full sex
Nearly a quarter of couples have realised that she climaxes more easily through oral sex. There should never be any judgement that an orgasm has to be through penetration.
An orgasm is an orgasm whether through full sex, oral sex, manual sex, or with a vibrator!
For great oral pleasure, as her sexual tension builds start some tongue-teasing around her pubic mound - not directly on her clitoris.
Try stroking back and forth, and circle round and round - she’ll be in pleasure-heaven. Get experimental and slip-on a finger-tip vibrator to give her extra sensations between her thighs during oral sex.
5. Red-hot chat
You’d be surprised how many women say their men are silent during foreplay and sex.
When really they want to hear lots of lovely sex sounds from him, implying he’s turned on being with her.
So from letting out some ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhhs’ to talking dirty, get vocal to give her extra arousal.
Obviously don’t start with triple-XXX banter unless you know she’s turned on by really raunchy stuff.
6. His climax needs
Many of the tips above apply to him, too. Like asking what he really wants during foreplay.
Also keep in mind that increasingly men love some extra stimulation with a vibrator run around and around their manhood, between their thighs, etc.
But remember, if he’s stressed or tired it might be hard for him to climax. This is never a judgement on his masculinity.
7. He’s got individual needs
Partners often make the assumption men want a good, firm foreplay with strong stimulation. Not true.
Many men prefer a slow and gentle build-up. And don’t forget he has plenty of erogenous zones too.
Take your time exploring his body from his neck, to his nipples, to his knees. He’s more likely to climax when he’s been fully aroused.
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