Put on a united front and keep it fresh by swapping roles: How to survive an age-gap relationship
Here's what you should know about age gaps in relationships
OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must- know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter
When I chatted to Rylan Clark-Neal last Friday on the Celebrity Big Brother spin-off show I predicted this series will be a car crash.
Envisaging loads of rows because the producers dipped deep into the well of egotistical characters bound to clash.
I wasn’t picturing Geordie Shores’ Marnie Simpson and celebrity bankrupt Grant Bovey flirting.
My chin hit the floor with the cringe factor of Grant chatting-up someone his eldest daughter’s age.
But putting on my behaviour expert’s hat I can see past the this-can’t- be-happening feeling.
Why would Marnie find Grant sexy?
Chatting to people who’ve gone for much older partners they usually say the biggest turn on is curiosity. They want to discover what it’d be like to be with - and bed - someone much older.
To get far in a highly competitive sphere of telly, Marnie must have street-smarts and be drawn to discovering more about someone like Grant.
Add to that Grant reminded Marnie of Kevin Spacey - someone she obviously finds a turn on.
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Plus Grant’s quite a smooth operator, flooding Marnie with compliments. When in high-anxiety surroundings like the Big Brother house, it’s easy to lap up flattery.
But also Marnie’s savvy, she knows the tabloids would be shouting about this.
Do we need to ask why Grant finds Marnie attractive?
Grant has form with younger women. And with Marnie highly responsive to his compliments, he seemed to lose all grip of reality, checking his common sense at the Big Brother door.
Apart from her physical allure, studies of age-gaps show the older partner feels alive again with someone young. It’s intoxicating having someone much younger fancy you.
Irresistible when smack in the ‘midlife crisis phase’ of life.
Enter Lewis Bloor
With a stint on TOWIE Lewis also knows about reality TV. He’s in his sexual prime, Marnie’s attractive, so why not have a snog or seven?
Result! Marnie and he had fun. Grant looked crestfallen, but all’s not lost as Marnie’s obviously lapping up attention from all corners.
This storyline’s set to run. But if Marnie and Grant had (or do) started something, their
relationship would blow any previous Big Brother history showmances out of the water.
If you’ve got an age gap relationship...
Stats are against you - a 20-year gap means a 95 per cent chance of breaking-up. Even a five-year gap means you’re 18 per cent more likely to breakup than no-gap relationships.
So how can you give yourself better odds?
- Sing from the same page – present a united front to sceptical family and friends. Show you’re in it for the long haul. Because research found it’s pressure from them that’s most likely to break you up.
- Learn from each other with sex. The older probably has techniques up their sleeve they’re dying to share. The younger has enthusiasm to learn. Go for it!
- Take turns swapping roles, though, to keep it fresh. Try fantasy play where the younger can take control - like they’re the office junior but with a very dominant personality. This is a perfect dynamic for some ‘fifty shades’ style sex play.
- Remember it’s quality not quantity. Depending on the gap, the older partner may not want to be at it all the time. But when they are, let them go to town. Take time with some luscious lubricant, rubbing it over every pleasure-zone.
- If you’re the older, don’t pretend you love keeping up with your partner. Yes, go clubbing occasionally but not always.
- If you’re the younger, don’t throw the older partner’s age in their face during rows. A nail in the coffin for age gap relationships!
Have fun discovering what each of you has to offer.
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