How this woman became the world’s most popular online dater (and the simple steps YOU could take to catch her eye)

❶ HAVE GOOD PHOTOS. This means more than three pictures that are not from over a year ago, pixelated or extremely filtered.
Save the sunglasses and group shots for another day, and make sure you give an accurate representation of yourself.
There is nothing more awkward than meeting someone in person who looks nothing like what they claimed.

❷ BE GENUINE AND BE INTERESTING. When you write your profile, make sure to be concise, nobody wants to read your memoirs.
Tell everyone about something the next guy or girl doesn’t have.
Be sure to avoid generic phrases like “I’m lovin’ life” and “I like to laugh” because, duh, the last 40 people wrote the same thing and if you don’t like to laugh then who are you even?
❸ USE PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELLING. Enough said. Spellcheck your profile if you have to.

❹ SEND RESPECTFUL MESSAGES. Whether male or female, it is not recommended that you send something along the lines of “I’d totally bang you”.
Introduce yourself and say why you’re interested in meeting that person, but don’t write an essay.
Realise that if you want to talk to someone just because you like the way they look, you might not have enough in common.

❺ BE REALISTIC. Understand that you can’t control others, only yourself. If someone just isn’t that into you, let them feel that way – don’t try to force it.
If you send two messages and someone doesn’t respond, move along and assume they’re not interested.

I’D met John, a heart surgeon, on OkCupid a week earlier and had been out with him once since then.

I’d been surprised (but not THAT surprised – this is internet dating) to discover the guy who’d shown up in his Porsche wasn’t the guy I’d seen in his photos. He was around 20 years older than me. But at 5ft 10in, with deep brown eyes, slick black hair and an Armani suit, he was attractive and confident.

He started telling me about a trip to LA where he’d be speaking at a conference. He said: “Get off work and come with me.”

I didn’t think he was serious, so I laughed it off. John texted a couple of days later and asked again if I wanted to go to LA. He told me to use his credit card to book a flight, which I did.

About a week before our trip we met up for the third time. Up until then we hadn’t had any kind of physical contact aside from a hug. I kind of forgot I was “dating” him but in the cab on the way home he started trying to pull me closer.

I pulled away and politely said I was tired and had to head home. He told the cab to drop him off first.

Right before John stepped out he handed me a white envelope, smiled and shut the door behind him. When I opened it I found 20 crisp $100 bills. Why would someone hand over that much money? Did he expect me to sleep with him the next time we met?

When I got home I did some Googling to find the staff page of the hospital John worked for.

“John” was there, photo and all . . . but I found out his name was Elliot. I also found the names of his wife and two children. He’d mentioned none of that.

I told Elliot and said I’d no longer be going to LA with him. He said “OK” and that was the last I heard from him.

STEVEN and I were getting along almost too well for the first couple of hours of our date at a bar. He looked very put together. It felt really natural.

He asked if it was OK if his cousin – who was new to the city and had time to kill – joined us. Said “cousin” showed up and was a skinny European dandy wearing a sheer pink button-up shirt.

That’s when things started to get really weird. Drinks were flowing and Steven’s personality started to change.

He started referring to me as his fiancée. He began obsessing over everything I did and complimenting me every other sentence.

He told me how badly he wanted to find the love of his life to settle down and have kids with. When he went to the bathroom he texted me from there.

Obvious psychopath. But I was semi-drunk and willing to tolerate much more than I would have sober.

We moved on to a Japanese restaurant where Steven started telling everyone at our communal table that we were engaged.

He bought the whole table cocktails and several bottles of sake.

We’d almost made it through dinner when Steven said, “This isn’t going to work.” He then accused me of “sabotaging our love” saying I wasn’t paying attention to him.

Then he asked for the bill, demanding that I pay half of it.

He theatrically walked out after paying a portion of the check. His cousin followed. I sat there for a good five minutes.

On my way out, I found Steven waiting. He pleaded: “I’m so sorry. I just really want this – us – to be perfect, so we can spend the rest of our lives together.”

I hightailed it out and headed for the train. Steven followed me for two blocks then yelled: “ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT?!” I had never been so sure about anything in my life.