Woman, 24, who made herself sick 5 times a DAY at height of eating disorder beats it to become a bodybuilder
Laura Bardsley credits her boyfriend with helping her turn her life around
A WOMAN who was once so gripped by an eating disorder she felt greedy whenever she ate and made herself sick five times a day has conquered the illness to become a bodybuilder.
Laura Bardsley's problems began when she was 15 and lost a close member of her family.
She handled her grief by controlling her food, and at her worst she weighed just 6st 6lbs and was a tiny clothes size 4.
As she was at boarding school, Laura, from Lancashire, found it easy to hide her anorexia from her family.
“I didn’t have my parents there to tell me to eat and my friends didn’t know how to approach the situation," she explained.
"I was able to either skip meals completely or I would make myself sick any time I was made to eat.
“Purging played a huge part in my illness from start to finish as the thought of having food in my stomach or feeling full filled me with fear.
“Any rational thinking towards food was nonexistent and I believed it either led to immediate weight gain or you were a bad and greedy person for eating.
"I felt guilty and like a failure any time I ate.”
At her worst, Laura, now 24, was being sick five times a day.
She would make herself vomit even if she'd only had a small snack, and always if she was made to eat at a school meal time.
At first, her friends compliments her weight loss. They had no idea how ill she was, and their praise just made her want to drop even more pounds.
Her pals eventually started to worry about her, but Laura couldn't see anything wrong with her behaviour.
"I would constantly think of ways I could avoid eating, coming up with excuses and lies to tell my friends and family," she said.
“I would say I’d already eaten, hide food, throw it away.
"I would leave plates and crumbs of food out to make it look as though I had prepared and eaten food."
On top of this, Laura became obsessed with exercise.
She'd go on huge runs in secret and do as many sit-ups as possible - even leaving herself with a bruised spine.
"The more weight I lost, the more I sunk into a state of depression and the more I pushed friends away," she admitted.
"My confidence and love for myself was nonexistent.
";I would cry all the time and had no desire to communicate or socialise with anyone.
“Food and weight loss dominated my thoughts and to me, that’s all that mattered.
";I would stand in front of the mirror examining my flaws and every day would make sure I could get my two hands around my thigh.”
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Laura went to Canada on a gap year and when she got back she was at her lowest weight, living on about 500 calories a day.
She was referred to The Priory Hospital in Altrincham for help.
"My depression was at its worst, I had suicidal thoughts daily, I cried whenever I had to eat, my hair was falling out, I wasn’t able to go shopping as high street clothes were too big," she said.
The idea of in-patient treatment was brought up, but Laura didn't want to as she knew how much she'd miss her friends and family.
It gave her the kick she needed to start trying to recover.
She started seeing a counsellor twice a week, having regular weigh-ins and visits with doctors.
Laura hit her goal weight before she was due to go to university in Nottingham, but the next two years were hard and her weight was up and down.
Things changed in 2013, when she met her boyfriend Darren.
He loved fitness and introduced Laura to it, prompting her to join his gym in Nottingham.
"He introduced me to weight training and gave me a very basic diet plan to try, which ensured I was getting in all of the vital macro nutrients my body needed and a few extra treats too," she explained.
"Once I understood why our bodies need carbohydrates and fats and why we need to refuel our muscles after exercise, I began to realise that food really wasn’t the devil that I believed it was."
Darren encouraged Laura to increase her calorie intake, adding in things like protein shakes.
She stopped purging and found she had a lot more energy which helped her in her workouts.
Laura also made a friend called Ella, who had battled an eating disorder too.
They set up to talk about their recoveries and are both working towards becoming personal trainers.
These days Laura is a size 8/12, eats 2,200 calories a day and weighs 9st 9lb.
A typical day's diet for Laura
Breakfast
- Oats with protein powder and peanut butter
Snack
- Raw veggies with hummus
Lunch
- Quorn chilli with rice and veggies
Snack
- Protein bar and some fruit
Dinner
- Omelette with cheese and veggies
Dessert
- Yogurt or chocolate
"These fad diets, obsession with ‘clean eating’ and extreme exercise regimes are not only ruining our bodies but our minds too," she said.
"Understanding the benefits of food and exercise has made me a happier, more confident and more productive person with a new found passion for life.
"There’s so much rubbish out there on social media about diet and exercise and how you ‘should’ look which is sometimes hard to ignore.
"But just being you, educating yourself on proper health and finding what makes you happy will make life a hell of a lot better."
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