Dr Pam Spurr reveals six signs that tell you he’ll be great in bed
From his eyes to his hands and even his posture... these are the things to look out for - according to sexpert Dr Pam Spurr
Our sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter
Countless times disappointed women have said things to me like: ‘he looked so hot but things were lukewarm in bed’. Or: ‘he was such a flirt, but it was all about him with the sex’.
Trouble is, a lot of what men do and say is misleading. He’s got sexy banter so you assume his bedroom skills match. Not always true!
How can you tell - when getting to know him - if he’s good in bed? Or if it’ll be down to you to show him a few tricks?
Thankfully body language and behaviour studies have come up with signs that reveal lots about whether he’ll be Mr Lover-man or Mr Loser-man.
Six signs he'll be good in bed:
1. He’s got good focus: Whether chatting on the phone, messaging each other, or meeting up, he’s got good focus on you.
The man who stays focused and doesn’t drift in a conversation, whether face-to-face or messaging, reveals he has focus in the bedroom.
2. Eyes for you: If you two have met up but you notice his eyes flick to other hot chicks who enter the pub, bar, club, etc., it’s a bad sign for good sex.
If he doesn’t get distracted by other women it signals a deep-level attraction to you. This kind of deep, serious attraction bodes well for bedroom action.
3. Check out his posture: You’re looking for good, relaxed but confident posture.
A good sign he’ll be confident and relaxed in bed. Just what you want, especially if you have any nerves!
But stressed and rigid posture? He’ll bring that physical tension into sex. Yes, you want one significant part of him ‘rigid’ but not the rest.
4. He flirts but it’s not all sexy banter: There’s a difference between great flirting that reveals he’s playful in bed. And a guy who only talks about sex, making constant innuendos.
The first guy wants both of you to have fun. The second guy’s only in it for some quick sex and he’ll be out the door faster than you can pull your knickers up.
5. He listens to you at the ‘second level’: ‘Second level’ listening reveals someone who really cares.
This is when they reflect back what you say, to check they’ve understood you.
This reveals he doesn’t want to get things wrong. Transfer this attitude to between-the-sheets and he’ll want to know what satisfies you.
6. He’s good with his hands: Not to be confused with the size of his hands (that old wive’s tale!).
If he’s good putting things together, at DIY, with gadgets, etc., he can put that dexterity to work on your body!
Keep watch how he manages sipping his drink, eating food, answering his phone, etc. And if it’s smooth, it’ll be smooth sailing in bed.
Fear not, if that new guy doesn’t give off these six signs you can bring the best out of him in the bedroom.
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Use these three simple steps:
- Don’t be shy – Tell him what’s working. When his fingertips or tongue hit the right spot tell him you’d love more.
- Show him the way – If shy of telling him what works, guide his hands. Or take his fingertip and gently lick it. Murmur that that’s the pressure you’d like on, e.g., your nipples.
- Keep asking – It goes both ways, whisper sexily how you’d love to know what he likes.
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Dr Pam's doing a one-off special on Talk Radio Saturday 29th October 9pm-midnight. You can ring or tweet her any dilemma