Our affair is real deal to her but it’s just about sex for me

Dear Deidre

I’M having mind-blowing sex with a woman at work but it’s all  we  have   in   common.

I’m panicking because she wants to tell everyone about our “relationship” at next week’s work Christmas party.

She wants me to leave my wife – who has no idea about our trysts.

This woman started working with me 14 months ago.

She is 32, single and nothing to look at — not a patch on my wife — but we started flirting.

Then we got a bit drunk at last year’s work Christmas party and ended up having sex in a bedroom at the hotel.

My wife is still beautiful but sex has become routine and boring.

I am 39 and she is 38.

We have been together for 19 years and have daughters of 17 and 15.

This woman said I could have sex with her any time and I could not resist.

She is up for it anywhere and I have never known sex like it.

It has become a way of life but I hate lying to my lovely wife.

I take this woman out twice a month, just to keep her happy.

Lately she has started moaning about not having me to herself and she wants me to leave my wife.

I made it clear from the off that I would never split from my wife.

Now she is putting so much pressure on me that I am starting to panic.

She believes I’m in love with her, because that is what I’ve told her.

I’ve even thought of quitting my job to end the affair but I know she will cause a load of trouble if I do.

Why can’t she be happy with the sex, like I am?

I am addicted to that and, if I finish with her, I will go back to the life of boring sex.

Is it so bad to want a little bit extra?

I fear what will happen next.

This woman would love it if my wife threw me out.

DEIDRE SAYS: I know initially you said you wouldn’t leave your wife but you have told your other woman you are in love with her.

Of course she interprets that as meaning it’s a serious relationship, not just about the sex.

No, we can’t always have all we want – in your case a lovely wife and sex on the side.

Tell your lover firmly that it’s over, so there will be nothing to announce at the party.

If she plans to tell your wife, say you’ll do it first.

If you must confess, you’ll have a lot of making up to do.

My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Forgive and Forget? will help.

Even if you can avoid confessing – and it’s safest not to – work on brightening your sex life at home.

If it’s boring, that’s at least 50 per cent down to you.

My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex can help.

Dear Deidre

I HARDLY see my son now he’s married and has moved in with his in-laws.

He’s not even coming here over Christmas.

Our first grandchild, a boy, is due in February and my daughter-in-law’s parents will see him 24/7, but us not at all.

My son is 25, his wife is 22 and I am 44.

I have always been there for my son but I don’t like my daughter-in-law or her stuck-up family.

I invited my son and his wife to ours for Christmas dinner.

My daughter-in-law texted back that her parents were planning a family meal for them all.

I feel like saying some­thing but I know it will end up in an argument.

DEIDRE SAYS: Keep the peace, if only because they are going to have your grandchild.

The last thing you want is a rift.

Ask your son and daughter-in-law round for a meal before or after Christmas Day.

It is hard, but put on a smile and you will be the winner.

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