Deceit, abuse and rape… we investigate why in 2017 British women are still being murdered by their own families in so-called honour killings
Last year 28-year-old Samia Shahid became the latest British woman believed to be murdered in a so-called honour killing after ending her arranged marriage to her Pakistani first cousin
THE day Samia Shahid flew to Pakistan in July 2016, she sent a chillingly prophetic text to a friend: “Pray i come bk alive [sic]”.
Just days later, the 28-year-old beautician from Bradford was found dead in a small Punjab village where her family lived.
A post-mortem revealed she’d been raped and strangled.
But it seems this was no ordinary attack.
Weeks after she’d been swiftly buried by her family, police in Pakistan arrested her ex-husband Mohammad Shakeel for her murder and her father Muhammad Shahid as an accessory to the crime.
Latest reports reveal that in December 2016, Samia’s father was granted bail, having been held in custody since July, while her ex-husband remains in prison.
Both are awaiting trial, and arrest warrants have also been issued for her sister and mother.
It looks as though Samia’s death could be the latest in a succession of British women murdered by their own families for bringing “shame” on them – a crime known as an “honour killing”.
According to the Honour Based Violence Awareness Network, there are at least 12 known honour killings a year in the UK, plus there were more than 11,000 cases of “honour crime” – which can include forced marriage and genital mutilation – recorded between 2010 and 2014.
These consistently high numbers are baffling.
After all, we’re more conscious of this horrific crime than ever, with charities such as True Honour and Karma Nirvana raising awareness and providing support and training to help prevent forced marriages and honour-based abuse.
The government even formed a Forced Marriage Unit in 2005 to tackle the issue.
According to Sarbjit Kaur Athwal, 46, founder of True Honour, one of the main reasons it’s still happening is down to deeply ingrained attitudes within closed-off communities across the UK.
“Older, often male, community leaders who are first-generation immigrants from countries, such as India and Pakistan, are not telling their communities to set aside outdated notions of shame and honour,” she explains.
“They’re not encouraging families to allow women to be more independent and Western in their behaviour. This mindset is so entrenched, it can permeate a community and lead to honour crimes against women, who are still seen as property to be controlled.”
It’s been reported that women from the LGBT community have also been attacked in the name of honour by families and communities who disagree with their sexuality and lifestyle.
Activists believe there are likely to be many more victims than those recorded because of the culture of silence that often surrounds these crimes and keeps them hidden from the police.
Samia’s act of “dishonour” was to end her arranged marriage to her Pakistani first cousin after two years.
The couple divorced in 2014 and Samia, who’d been raised in Bradford, went on to fall in love with Syed Mukhtar Kazam, who was from a different sect of Islam, before marrying him that year and moving to Dubai.
Her family disowned her, but last summer they called to tell her that her elderly father in Pakistan was dying.
So she travelled to the country.
Six days after landing at the airport in Islamabad, Samia was found lying dead at the bottom of the staircase at her cousin’s home.
Initially, her relatives claimed she’d died of a cardiac arrest, and immediately had her buried.
However, a week later, Syed released a photo of his wife’s body to the media, showing red marks on her neck.
It prompted Naz Shah, Labour MP for Bradford West, to call for Samia’s body to be exhumed.
A post-mortem revealed she’d been raped, and then strangled.
“Samia was a constituent of mine, but my reasons for doing everything in my power to reveal the truth about her death stretch far beyond my obligations as her MP,” explains Naz, speaking exclusively to Fabulous.
“The idea that a young woman can step on a plane and never return is just heinous and it must be stopped.”
One woman for whom that terrifying prospect almost became a reality is 23-year-old Maryam.*
Last October, she sought help from the police after discovering that her strict Muslim family, originally from Nigeria, were planning to force her to travel there from their home in the north of England to marry a stranger.
“I came here when I was young, so I’ve grown up wanting to live an independent life,” explains Maryam.
“After getting a law degree, I worked as a trainee solicitor, and had a boyfriend, but my family hated my Western lifestyle.
“It caused a lot of arguments and during one row last April, my father let slip that they were planning to marry me off to a Nigerian man I’d never met. I was absolutely horrified at the prospect of marrying a stranger and having to live in a country where I had no life, no friends and no job. I told my parents I’d never agree to it.”
From then on, Maryam’s family began a campaign of emotional abuse intended to pressure her into agreeing to the marriage.
“My phone and passport were confiscated,” she remembers.
“I was driven to and from work, and constantly told I was bringing shame on the family.
“I stopped eating and couldn’t sleep because I was so scared they’d find a way to take me to Nigeria. I knew that if I ever wanted to lead a ‘normal’ life, I had to get away.”
One night last October, Maryam crept out of her house with just a small bag of clothes and purse and went to her local police station.
“I didn’t know if they’d take me seriously,“ she admits.
“After all, no one had physically hurt me.”
Thankfully, after interviewing Maryam, the police placed her in the care of the Agency for Culture and Change Management, which supports victims of honour-based violence and helped her find a place at a women’s refuge.
Her parents were summoned to court, where a judge issued a Forced Marriage Protection Order forbidding them from forcing her into a marriage.
“I wasn’t at court that day as I didn’t want to see them,” recalls Maryam.
“But I felt a huge sense of relief when the police told me that my passport was flagged so if my family tried to take me abroad, I’d be questioned at the airport to ensure I was travelling of my own free will.”
Now living in a flat in a different city, Maryam is estranged from her family.
“I’m still constantly watching over my shoulder in case they find me and punish me,” she says.
“I don’t think that fear will ever leave me, because I know how much they feel I have shamed them.”
Sarbjit started her charity, True Honour, after her sister-in-law Surjit was murdered by her husband and their mother-in-law in 1998.
It took nearly 10 years for the family to be brought to justice.
Determined that Surjit’s death wouldn’t be in vain, Sarbjit’s mission was to not only support victims, but also educate and train those who may come into contact with a victim of abuse, in order to try to bring these horrifying crimes to an end.
“Whether it’s the police, a GP, a teacher or a social worker, we want them to recognise the signs someone is being abused,” explains Sarbjit.
“They need to trust their instincts and not be afraid to intervene because they wrongly believe this is a ‘community issue’. You may have just one chance to help a victim….”
The memories of her sister-in-law’s death are still raw for Sarbjit.
She and Surjit had married brothers and, in keeping with tradition, both moved in with their husbands’ family after their forced marriages.
They quickly discovered their widowed, elderly mother-in-law Bachan Kaur Athwal ran the house with an iron fist.
Despite beatings from her husband and mother-in-law, Surjit rebelled.
She found a job in Customs at Heathrow Airport, dressed in Western clothes and wore make-up at work, and went out with the new friends she’d made for dinner and drinks.
But then in 1998, she was lured to India by her mother-in-law on the pretence that she would be accompanying her to a family wedding.
Instead Surjit was drugged, strangled and thrown into a river so she couldn’t bring any further “shame” on the family.
“Like Samia Shahid, Surjit never came home,” says Sarbjit.
“She was just 27.”
And the list goes on.
In 2006, 20-year-old Banaz Mahmod from south London was murdered by three men on her father and uncle’s orders after she left her abusive husband and fell in love with a man from a different Kurdish sect.
In 2010, Laura Wilson, 17, became Britain’s first white victim of honour crime, when she was stabbed to death by her boyfriend Ashtiaq Ashgar, then 21, after revealing their secret relationship to his strict Muslim family.
Shafilea Ahmed, 17, from Warrington was murdered by her parents in September 2003 after suffering years of abuse at their hands.
Her crime? To refuse an arranged marriage and want to go to university and wear Western clothes.
Thanks to cases like these, awareness and condemnation of honour killings has increased, but it’s clear more still needs to be done.
“There’s a school of thought that says we should simply treat these crimes as domestic violence and murder, and ignore the cultural motivations,” says Clive Driscoll, a retired Detective Chief Inspector, who worked on the case against Bachan Kaur Athwal and is vice chair and trustee of True Honour.
“It’s seen as politically incorrect to put too much focus on the fact this is happening within certain cultures and communities, but understanding the motivation behind a crime is essential to solving it and stopping it from happening again. Whitewashing what is going on behind the scenes in a victim – and a perpetrator’s – life, won’t help us stamp out these crimes.”
Naz agrees, saying: “The government needs to create a body that will place a spotlight on crimes that are often viewed as ‘culturally taboo’, like ‘honour’ crime and female genital mutilation. There can be no room for a softly, softly approach if potential perpetrators are to be deterred.”
A change in terminology is also necessary, believes Nus Ghani, MP for Wealden.
“I used Theresa May’s first Prime Minister’s Questions to call on the government to end the use of the word ‘honour’ when describing these acts,” she says.
“[She] agreed that there was no honour in so-called honour-based violence – murder is murder, rape is rape, enslavement is enslavement. So in January, I introduced a bill in Parliament that would legislate against using a term that doesn’t reflect the crime and is instead used to coerce the victim and intimidate the authorities from doing their job.”
A decade on from her sister-in-law’s murder, Sarbjit says Samia’s murder last year has deeply resonated with her.
“It’s heartbreaking that another innocent young woman has been killed because of this archaic notion of shame and honour,” she says.
“These killings must stop and I refuse to rest until they do.”
*Name has been changed. Credits: ,