We reveal the A-Z of old-time curses to really tell the ‘jobberbowls,’ as Rochdale council bans swearing
Tell the council's bureaucratic 'gnashbabs' to 'sard off' by reviving the UK's rudest words from medieval times
STUFFY council chiefs are talking a load of old tallywags if they think they can ban swearing in public.
Residents of Rochdale could avoid the town’s proposed £80 fine – as exclusively revealed in the Sun yesterday – by reviving some of the rudest words in the English language dating back to early medieval times. That’ll show the fopdoodles.
The swear ban is enough to make anyone curse – and human rights campaigners have branded the council’s plan “a staggering misuse of power”.
Here, COURTNEY BARTLETT provides a helpful A-Z guide of the most insulting phrases from the past that any muckspout would be proud to use in the Greater Manchester town.
Start practising – and soon you will have no trouble telling a bunch of jabbernowls to sard off.
Ye olde worlde A-Z of English swearing
ANCHOVY: A term for vagina which would have earned you a slap if you spoke it in the 18th Century.
BRACMARD: A woodknife, but used as slang for penis – meaning it could split things in two.
CHEESER: Someone whose farts stink out the room, leaving the smell of a ripe old Stilton.
DIDDEYS: In days gone by, fellas who kept abreast of the latest slang would have used this word for boobs.
ELBOW SHAKER: Can you picture the movement it describes? Quite simply, a w****r.
FOPDOODLE: You probably know someone who is up their own backside and quite dim. Now you know what to call them.
GNASHBAB: A person who is always complaining – a bit like Rochdale’s council officials.
HARRIDAN: You might still hear this word for a mean old woman, so watch who you say it to.
INEXPRESSIBLES: Everybody has at least one pair of inexpressibles. This term for underwear was once considered so shocking that it could have landed you in a duel.
JOBBERNOWL: In the 16th Century, this phrase was used to describe the biggest idiots.
KEFFEL: These days you see a fair few keffels at Cheltenham races. In the 19th century it was used to describe posh people with big teeth.
LICKSPITTLE: Still occasionally used today, this description of a toady originally meant they would gladly drink the dribble from their boss’s mouth.
MUCKSPOUT: An insulting term for a foul-mouthed person – the sort Rochdale council want to clamp down on.
NOBTHATCHER: A bald man who wears a wig. In the days before toupees, baldies thatched their bonce with straw.
OXHOUSER: A randy old man who marries a much younger woman. This term is so old that it predates Mick Jagger.
PRINCOD: A pincushion. The word was also used to describe a short fat person during Elizabeth I’s reign.
QUEYNTE: The old-fashioned word for c**t. It wasn’t nearly as offensive and is even found in early medical text books.
RANTALLION: A man with a tiny todger. This term meant your testicles were bigger than your willy.
SARD: The equivalent of the f-word. If you wanted to shock in Shakespeare’s day, this is how you would do it.
TALLYWAGS: Men through the ages have suffered a kick in the tallywags – today the equivalent word would be – you guessed it – b******s.
UPPISHMAN: A sulk, somebody who is incapable of taking a little bit of banter.
VARLET: A two-faced person. There must have been quite a few of them about in Shakespeare’s time – the Bard used the word 21 times in his works.
WIMBLE: An instrument for boring holes – or simply a lighthearted word for your willy.
XANTHIPPE: A nagging wife. Pronounced “Zan-TIP-ee”, it was the name of Greek philosopher Socrates’ scolding spouse.
YELLOWBELLY: A coward. Dating from the late 18th Century and still used today, a yellowbelly slithers out of trouble like an eel.
ZOUNDERKITE: If you were a complete and utter t***er in Victorian times, you could expect to be branded a zounderkite.